Sunday, April 17, 2011

Cabbage Statue = Love

ThePhan: LOL, so only guys have liked my Guys & Dolls status so far.
ThePhan: It makes me look like a dude magnet.
ThePhan: Four different guys from my school rush to like my status moments after it is posted.
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: You're just a hot theatre chick.
ThePhan: Apparently.
ThePhan: Whoo me!
ThePhan: Or, "Woo me."
ThePhan: HA HA HA HA HA
ThePhan: Obviously the guys love me for my sense of humor.
ThePhan: LOL, so one of the girls in the department was telling everyone her favorite joke today.
ThePhan: It went thus:
ThePhan: (Holding out her hand) "What's green, round, and in my hand? THIS INVISIBLE CABBAGE I'M HOLDING!"
ThePhan: And then she would start laughing hysterically.
ThePhan: She thought it was the funniest thing ever.
ThePhan: About the third time she told it, one of the other girls says, "This is why we have that reputation, that girls can't be funny."
LaZorra: ...
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: That sound like something I would have done at age 6.
ThePhan: LOL, exactly.
LaZorra: No wonder the guys love you, haha.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
ThePhan: All you have to do to get a man's love is not tell invisible cabbage jokes.
ThePhan: It's so simple, why don't girls do this more often?
LaZorra: TOPICBOT
LaZorra: Instead, you should make him something with cabbage.
LaZorra: Way to a man's heart being through his stomach and all.
LaZorra: cabbage jokes = life of loneliness and despair.
ThePhan: You probably meant food, but my first instinct was a collage.
LaZorra: coleslaw = marriage and happiness forever
LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL
LaZorra: "I made you a replica of Michelangelo's Dave out of cabbage leaves."
LaZorra: Er, *David
ThePhan: LOL
LaZorra: Gah, now I have mental images of Dave carved out of white marble.
ThePhan: Michelangelo did a statue of Dave?
* LaZorra is giggling uncontrollably.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
ThePhan: I am not at all sure that I should present future crushes with cabbage-based statues of Dave.
LaZorra: Appropriately, iTunes just decided to play a song that has the chorus, "I might be a little bit loco, but it keeps me from losing my mind."
LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: Ha! So very true, this.
LaZorra: Who wouldn't want a cabbage-based statue of Dave?
LaZorra: Every home needs one.
ThePhan: The question is, do you eventually eat it?
LaZorra: Yes. And you discover, to your surprise, that it is actually filled with corn.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
ThePhan: It's like the Princess and the Pea.
ThePhan: Only the true love of your life will sense the corn inside and search for it.
LaZorra: That is the worst love story ever, LOL LOL.
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: It so is.
ThePhan: "So how did you guys get together?"
ThePhan: "Well, I liked him, so I made a cabbage statue of a dude I kind of knew from the Internet and filled it with corn. Then I gave it to him, and he found the corn, and then we got married."
ThePhan: "..."
* LaZorra dies.
LaZorra: You should have children just so you can tell them screwed up bedtime stories like this.
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: It would be so much more fun to screw up my siblings' children without telling their parents.
ThePhan: Then they'd grow up with all sorts of weird ideas and my siblings would never know where they came from.
LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL
LaZorra: WIN
LaZorra: Yet again, being the coolest aunt ever > raising your own children

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