Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Jimmy John's Delivery

Ticia: I wonder if I could talk Jimmy Johns into delivering to my house, so I wouldn't have to go wait at the 7-11 across the street for them. Because that's just stupid.
Dave: Why will they deliver to a 7-11 but not your house?
Ticia: Because the 7-11 across the street is in their delivery area.
Ticia: But my house is not.
Dave: But it's ACROSS THE STREET
Dave: Just be like "See me waving? WALK OVER HERE WITH MY SAMMICH"
Ticia: Yeah, they told us we could go wait for them to deliver it there.
Dave: n00b
Dave: z
Dave: Well, it's like my dad used to say. "STOP IT WITH THAT NOISE"
Dave: I don't think that's really applicable to the situation, but my Dad definitely used to say that.
Ticia: LOL

Runing

LaZorra: I'M WINNING!
* LaZorra sparkles in the sunlight.
LaZorra: ...I just realized I sounded like Charlie what'shisface and Twilight lumped together.
Maryam: Oh, I thought that was a Twilight reference, but I couldn't figure out why she was making a Twilight reference.
LaZorra: DANG YOU, pop culture, for RUNING EVERYTHING
Maryam: Yeah, I hate all those runes everywhere.
Goosey: LOL
LaZorra: LOL!
LaZorra: I was thinking, "Runes? Is that a reference to the Hobbit movie? I haven't really noticed —OH"

Zero Toes

LaZorra: But I've been standing outside for like 75 minutes.
Goosey: Oh brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
LaZorra: I can no longer feel my toes.
* Goosey HUGS LaZorra!
Goosey: Poor toes!
* LaZorra HUGS Goosey!
LaZorra: hehe
LaZorra: Well, in fairness, it was so I could have coffee with Drew.
LaZorra: He's worth no toes.
Goosey: lol
LaZorra: Wait, that sounds weird.
Goosey: You should tell him that
LaZorra: "You, sir! You are worth zero toes!"
Goosey: LOL

Parking Spaces

LaZorra: A big selling point of the condo I'm trying to buy is that it comes with an indoor parking spot.
LaZorra: It would be about $20k on its own.
Dave: Wowza
Goosey: oooh
LaZorra: The realtor was like, "Hey, you can rent that since you don't have a car! That will make you like $150 a month!"
LaZorra: and I was like I AM SORRY WHAT
LaZorra: "Where I come from, we park on the dirt. For free."
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL
LaZorra: Actually, my first thought was, "MAYBE I CAN DRYDOCK MY SAILBOAT IN MY PARKING SPOT"
Dave: You have a sailboat but no car?
Dave: Where do you live, Venice?
Goosey: lol
Dave: Now I want to buy parking spaces.
LaZorra: Well, I have a sailboat in California, heh.
LaZorra: Where I also have a truck.
LaZorra: I WISH I LIVED IN VENICE
Dave: You should sail it to Chicago.
LaZorra: Maybe I can finally find the Northwest Passage.
Dave: No silly, you sail it around the Horn.
Dave: Then, like, I think you can sail up the St Lawrence river all the way to the Great Lakes.
Dave: If not, then go up the MIssissippi and I guess portage it over. That'd work.
Sentynel: Just fill it with helium and sail overland.
* Sam sets up parking spaces in RinkChat.
Sam: So, any takers?
Sam: Just think of how much more convenient it'll be to come into RinkChat.
Sam: You don't have to walk. You can just show up here and stick around.

CHANGES IN MY LIFE

ThePhan: FB friend posts: "IM THINKING IT'S TIME TO MAKE A FEW CHANGES IN MY LIFE !!!!!!"
ThePhan: Snarky response I am having difficulty resisting: "Like learning how to turn caps lock off!"
Sentynel: Phan: DO IT
Leen: TP: Do ittttt
TalkingDog: How about "Are you going to learn about lowercase letters?"
Leen: We are such a great influence.
Maryam: Say something snarky about the number of exclamation points, as well.
Maryam: You could quote Pratchett: http://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/index.php/Multiple_exclamation_marks
* ThePhan blinks.
ThePhan: Someone responded to his FB status with, "I still say anyone who voted for that jack ass has NO RIGHT to say anything about all this crap he is doing. They wanted him."
Maryam: Er...
ThePhan: I didn't think the changes he was planning on for his life were *political* ones...
Leen: Mmmkay.
ThePhan: But who knows?

Goosey's Marriage Rule

Goosey: My friends tend to get married in groups and pairs, like, within months of each other
ThePhan: Haha
Goosey: I really should have warned you. If you're my friend, and you're a girl, and we talk all the time, you're going to get married in the next three years. It's a rule.
ThePhan: LOL
LaZorra: GOOSEY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Goosey: It happened to me when I was 20, and when I was 24, and when I was 29-30, and again now
Goosey: LAZ I AM SORRY but whatever you aren't mad :)
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: Goosey: Well, you'd better not think I'm going to stop talking to you.
Goosey: GOOD
Goosey: BECAUSE YOU HAD BETTER NOT STOP
* Goosey HUGS LaZorra and ThePhan!
ThePhan: If we keep talking to you, do we have to get married every 3 years?
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: And if so, can it be to the same person again?

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Kids' Speech Problems

Goosey: So my nephew Jimmy doesn't say his Rs or Ls very well (common 3-year-old problem)
Goosey: But instead of replacing the Rs with a W sound, he replaces both with a Y sound
Goosey: Lollipop = yahyeepop
Goosey: Rocket ship = Yahkehship
Goosey: So I'm talking with my sister on the phone, and Jimmy tells her something, and she repeats him, her voice full of confusion, "What? That's. . . your butt?" Jimmy says it again, and sister says, "OH! Oh, yes, yes that is a robot!"
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: Seth did that.
ThePhan: This made the words "clueless" and "curious" sound exactly the same.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: One time he was telling me someone was clueless, and I kept saying, "He's.. curious?" "No! Cyueyess!" "...Curious?" "CYUEYESS! Yike, without a cyue!"
Randy: hahaha
ThePhan: Also, here is my other Seth-speech-issue story.
ThePhan: We were helping him practice words with L in them, and suddenly, he says, all panicky, "I have to practice 'yove (love)!'"
ThePhan: We asked him why. He looked at us like we were crazy and said, "For when I get my wife!"
Randy: hehe!

My Friends Describe Me As...

LZ had shared an article about creating the ultimate online dating profile. The phrase "My friends describe me as..." was listed as a good way to frame your characteristics, and we were musing on how that was interesting.

Goosey: So, my friends, how WOULD you describe me? ;)
LaZorra: Cupcake master extraordinare
Goosey: lol
LaZorra: Generous and a total sweetheart with a great sense of humor.
Goosey: awww :D
* Goosey takes notes
* LaZorra thinks
LaZorra: Well-grounded, but with lots of flair
Goosey: LOL I read "hair" at first
Randy: That too
LaZorra: I would not recommend that you put "hairy woman" on any dating profile.
Goosey: LOL

Beautiful and Clever and Totally Impractical

LaZorra: http://www.masswerk.at/google60/
Randy: LaZ: That link rules
ThePhan has entered.
LaZorra: It is beautiful and clever and totally impractical, and I am therefore in love with it.
LaZorra: Phan!
LaZorra: You are beautiful and clever and totally impractical, and I am therefore in love with you.
ThePhan: Oh my.
ThePhan: Well, thank you.
Goosey: lol
* ThePhan impracticizes.
LaZorra: *swoon*

Everything + Sherlock

Randy: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
ThePhan: HE IS AWESOME
Randy: Was just on Golden Globes...nominated for Sherlock
Randy: And doesn't win. boo
ThePhan: Lame.
ThePhan: Nothing is better than Sherlock.
ThePhan: EVER.
Randy: hehe
Randy: Putting a rover on Mars?
ThePhan: Eh. Maybe. But how much better would it be if Sherlock put a rover on Mars?
ThePhan: ALL THE WAY BETTER
Randy: haha!
Randy: Sherlock and ice cream?
ThePhan: Yup.
ThePhan: Way better than just ice cream.
Goosey is back.
Randy: Goosey and Sherlock?
ThePhan: Goosey and Sherlock living happily ever after!
Goosey: LOL
[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'Goosey and Sherlock living happily ever after!' by Randy.

Crazy People Encounter

ThePhan: And it appears my trend of running into weird people did not end in South Carolina.
ThePhan: Yesterday Jacob and I were wandering around the mall in Ohio before I left to go to Illinois.
ThePhan: We wandered into a store that sold snacky stuff, and the lady asked us if were going to see a movie.
ThePhan: We told her nah. She said a lot of people coming in today were going to go see Gangster Squad, which was supposed to be released last summer but got delayed because of the movie theater shooting in Colorado.
ThePhan: So far, so good, normal small talk.
ThePhan: She continues: "So, what do you guys think about gun control laws?"
Randy: meep
ThePhan: Jacob was so thrown off he wasn't even sure how to answer. I gave my diplomatic answer: "Well, it's definitely a hot topic right now. LOTS of opinions." She then gave us all her views on it. None of her views were too crazy, it was just unexpected that we'd suddenly be pushed into this conversation when we just wanted to buy some roasted almonds.
ThePhan: We finally left and I was like, "So, yeah, that happens to me ALL THE TIME."
Goosey: LOL

Old Lady Who Swallowed Some Books

Ticia: My kids got a book for Christmas called "There was an old lady who swallowed some books." It is the DUMBEST BOOK EVAR. It includes the line "There was an old lady who swallowed a folder. She didn't feel any older when she swallowed that folder." and "There was an old lady who swallowed some chalk. She didn't balk when she swallowed that chalk."
Ticia: BALK and CHALK don't even RHYME
.
.
.
Ticia: At the end of the book, she burps up a... backpack, with all the school supplies in it. Ready for her first day at public school? I have no idea. There's a school bus and it's implied she's ready for school. But she's an old lady.
Ticia: It's SO CONFUSING

Some = Bagels

[ThePhan->Goosey] I wonder if we still have bagels.
[Goosey->ThePhan] bagels!
ThePhan: Yum, we had some!
ThePhan: Er.
ThePhan: That made more sense as a private message.
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: Some = some bagels.
Ticia: lol
* Goosey HUGS ThePhan!
Ticia: Is *that* what the kids are calling it nowadays?
Goosey: lol lol lol
Ticia: And by "It" I mean... breakfast. Or dinner.
* ThePhan smokes a bagel.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

RinkMinutes

Randy: And I'm all out of time here. Bye!
Randy has left.
ThePhan: Randy used up all his RinkMinutes for the month. Now he has to wait until February before he can come back in.
Goosey: lol
LaZorra: Man, Sam is a cruel mistress.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: I sure hope I have an unlimited plan, or I've been running up one heck of an overage bill over the last few years.
ThePhan: Well, you can earn extra RinkMinutes.
ThePhan: For example, if you have two capital letters in your name, you start off with twice as many.
ThePhan: Congratulations, LZ, TD, and me.
TalkingDog: woooooo
ThePhan: You also earn RinkMinutes if you see movies Sam likes.
SentyNel: Well, the two capitals rule is a relief.
ThePhan: Now that initial doubling of the minutes won't take effect until next month, but if you do anything else to earn RinkMinutes, now you will earn twice as many!
ThePhan: Also, I hope you realize I will now pronounce your name "Scenty Nell," as if you were a woman named Nell who smells a specific way.
Sentynel: LOL
Sentynel: It's okay, you only have to do that around midnight on the last day of each month.
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: Also, every month Sam picks a random town in the world, and if you happen to be living in that town, you win free RinkMinutes for life.
Goosey: I know, isn't that the greatest? Sam picked Orem last August :D
ThePhan: This month it was Diekirch, in Luxembourg. I don't think anybody here won.
ThePhan: Goosey: OH CRAP, did he not tell you the rest of the rules? If you are the winner, you can't tell anybody you won! Otherwise, you have to give all the unlimited RinkMinutes to the poor and start over. :-(
Goosey: WHAT That is not a fair rule :(
ThePhan: He was *supposed* to tell you that.
Goosey: He didn't. I think there's a clause in there that says something about him giving me HIS unlimited minutes if he fails to notify me.
ThePhan: Goosey: Maybe you can petition Leen as RinkMinutes Court Queen to request that Sam share some of his RinkMinutes with you because of that oversight.
Sentynel: Are we allowed to tell people who won that they won, if they didn't know?
Sentynel: Because there's some people in Diekirch who are missing out.
ThePhan: Sent: Yeah, but only once.
Sentynel: Great. Time to work out how to mass-mail Diekirch.
Sentynel: (As an aside, I begin to understand what games of Mao with Phan are like.)
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Sent: LOL LOL
Sentynel: I bet you'd be awesome at Mornington Crescent.

Eternintniy

ThePhan: LOL, Josh just walked into my room because Sarah told him I had a lot of ladybugs in my room and he wanted to see.
Goosey: LOL
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: It is true. They are all up in my window. And there are at least 50 of them, all crawling around in the window. They don't come anywhere near me, and ladybugs are one of the few insects I'm not particularly bothered by, but it is rather weird.
LaZorra: My dad used to buy them in packs of I think five hundred to distribute in the nursery to eat aphids.
LaZorra: Basically he'd dip his hand in the bag and pull it out covered in ladybugs.
Goosey: Awesome!
Sentynel: LaZ: For some reason I had visions of them coming in blister packs (like pills or whatever).
Goosey: LOL
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: Man, that would take an eternintniy.
LaZorra: eterninteny
Goosey: LOL
LaZorra: etnerinty
* Randy tries not to giggle in the library
TalkingDog: Eternintendo 64?
LaZorra: eternal ninny tea
Goosey: LOL
iwpg: ENTERNITY
LaZorra: TD: LOL
Goosey: *eternity
LaZorra: THANK YOU

Things

ThePhan: My budget is actually not bad because I keep finding things offering to do stuff for me.
ThePhan: Like my matron of honor is told me she'd plan the food + cake for me. One of my bridesmaids is offering me her wedding dress, which should just about fit me so we won't even need to alter it that much. It's pretty great.
Maryam: I like how you call your close friends things.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
ThePhan: That was a weird typo.
ThePhan: I must have been debating whether to say "do stuff for me" or "do things for me" and just decided to throw both words in.
Sentynel: Oh, that was a typo.
ThePhan: Yeah, it wasn't on purpose.
Sentynel: I had visions of, like, inanimate objects springing to life and offering their services.

Babrika Oatmean

ThePhan: And then I will get food, which is super exciting.
LaZorra: YAY FOOD
Goosey: Food is almost always exciting.
Goosey: Except when it's, like, cold oatmeal or something
ThePhan: Well, I was going to go to Mom's Delicious Cold Oatmeal Kitchen across the street, but I guess I won't if it won't be exciting :-(
Goosey: LOL!
LaZorra: I'm sure it's the best darn cold oatmean you've ever had.
ThePhan: Oatmean is even less fun.
ThePhan: It yells at you while you eat it.
Goosey: haahaha
LaZorra: ANGRY OATMEAL
LaZorra: Which sounds like it should be oatmeal topped with cayenne.
ThePhan: Cold oatmeal with cayenne that yells at you sounds like the perfect breakfast.
LaZorra: It would certainly ensure your awketude.
LaZorra: awakeitued
LaZorra: ewokitude
LaZorra: Verbally abusive cold oatmeal with cayenne is what Eqoks eat for breafast.
LaZorra: EQOKS
LaZorra: gah
ThePhan: LZ: LOL
ThePhan: I thought "awketude" was "awkwardetude." Which, yes, it would be awkward.
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: I was going to make a joke about how little teddy bears would have to start every morning with something so harsh to be that kick butt in battle, but then my typos RUINED MY OWN JOKE.
Sentynel: Goldilocks got an unpleasant surprise, that's for sure.
LaZorra: :-p
LaZorra: I am going to rub catfish instead of type now.
LaZorra: SO HA
Sentynel: Will that help?
Goosey: LOL
LaZorra: Unless my fingers have the same sort of substitution problem with spices as they do with letters, yes.
LaZorra: "OH NO I DID NOT MEAN TO PUT CINNAMON ON HERE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BABRIKA"
ThePhan: If you rub a catfish, its soul will come out and offer you three wishes.
Goosey: BABRIKA
LaZorra: Phan: Yes, but all three are accompanied by lemon butter and pecans.
ThePhan: If you rub a catfish with babrika, I don't know WHAT'S going to come out of it...
LaZorra: PAPKRICA
Goosey: LOL
LaZorra: PAPRICKA
LaZorra: papricka?
Goosey: paprika
Sentynel: LOL
LaZorra: what is wrong with that word
LaZorra: ON THE C
LaZorra: OH
* Goosey dies
LaZorra: not on
LaZorra: gah

Bing Translate

ThePhan: Sometimes Bing Translate shows me some very confusing conversations on my overseas friends' statuses.
ThePhan: Original post: "I tried to cook a new dish tonight. It turned out to be a non-major titles. Compensates with Thai peanut and a Hitchcock-roller for dessert."
ThePhan: Comment: "Have nothing to do. You get to watch hitchcock?"
ThePhan: Poster's response: "Sure, you're welcome! You say much! One cannot listen to everything."
ThePhan: Commenter's response: "Okay, I stand after the brushing of teeth."
* ThePhan is not sure what any of that means.
* Sentynel scratches head
Sentynel: What language is it in?
ThePhan: Swedish.
Sentynel: Is Google translate any more intelligible?
ThePhan: Lemme see.
ThePhan: "Non-major titles" -> "non-salty treat"?
Sentynel: LOL
Sentynel: Close enough!
ThePhan: "I stand" -> "I'm going"
iwpg: LOL
Sentynel: That's.. completely the opposite. Nice work, Bing.
ThePhan: I think the commenter invited himself over to the poster's house to watch a Hitchcock movie after he brushes his teeth. No idea what this "one cannot listen to everything" business is.
wintermute: Maybe you should just learn Swedish.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Daniel Craig Hands

Goosey: I need to get a man with large hands. Like, Daniel Craig hands
ThePhan: They are a bit. But not overwhelmingly so.
the_boy: His hands probably just look big. They're probably the smallest hands of all.
Goosey: His hands look enormous.
Goosey: And he has a narrow little body too, so it looks like he can wrap his own hands around his own waist
ThePhan: He could wrap his hands around his own waist and pick himself up! That would be cool.
Goosey: LOL he could fly!
ThePhan: Flying James Bond would be a movie I would watch.
Goosey: Me too!

Skill Sets

ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: My brothers are arguing in the other room.
ThePhan: Micah says to Joel, "I'm better than you at most things."
ThePhan: "Like what?"
ThePhan: "Music, and art, and turning on switches, and turning off switches..."
ThePhan: ??
Sentynel: My goodness, the elegance and poise with which he flipped that switch...
Randy: LOL
iwpg: LOL
iwpg: I like how turning on and turning off are two entirely distinct skill-sets.
ThePhan: Apparently. Being good at one does not necessarily mean you'll be good at the other.

Face Her Back

LaZorra: ...I just told my lawyer I would face her back ASAP.
ThePhan: LOL
LaZorra: FAX. FAX.
wintermute: People still have faxes?
Sentynel: LOL
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: "Quick, turn away from me, it's urgent!"
ThePhan: Earlier today, my dad had Facebooked Jacob about something and I was supposed to remind Jacob to respond, so I send him a text asking him to messaging my dad back, but through a combination of typos and misreadings, he briefly thought I was asking him to massage my dad's back.

Borplem

(About some housing issues)

Goosey: I'd look for something else.
LaZorra: Goosey: The borplem is that a lot of properties in IL have this exact problem.
Dave: BORPLEM
Goosey: BORPLEM
LaZorra: er
LaZorra: scuse me
Randy: That's awesome
LaZorra: 8-.
Goosey: How did you completely reverse those letterS?
Dave: That's an awesome typo.
LaZorra: I do not knoooooooow