Princes

(About Disney princesses.)

Dave: Also, why are they all called princesses anyway? How many of them were ACTUALLY a princess in their own stories?
ThePhan: All except Mulan.
ThePhan: Either by birth or by marriage.
ThePhan: Calling Mulan a Disney princess has always bugged me. Heh.
Kalimeris: Yeah! She doesn't marry a prince, she just marries that guy.
Dave: Really? I haven't even seen most of those movies. I didn't know the entire point of every one of them was "girl marries prince"
Dave: That's disturbing all by itself.
Dave: They can't come up with a better plot for their ladies?
ThePhan: Dave: Sometimes it's "princes marries prince."
ThePhan: PRINCESS
Dave: Whoa
LaZorra: LOL LOL
Dave: Disney is more progressive than I thought.

Activitires

LaZorra has entered.
LaZorra: i came in to see if phan is ready to elope to utah with me
ThePhan: LOL
* ThePhan elopes to Utah. elopeelopeelope
ThePhan: Which is, unfortunately, pronounced "elo pee, lo pee, lope."
ThePhan: I *would* elope to Utah, but we have a deposit on the Ohio building and all...
Randy: elopeelopeelopeelope
* Randy sings it like the Lone Ranger theme
Ticia: LOL
LaZorra: Phan: I do not want to do anything that involves peeing. Not even with you in Utah.
LaZorra: I mean, I consider my friends close, but there's a line, you know?
ThePhan: Well, then you're just going to have to sit out for a large portion of our reception.
Randy: Don't all you girls always go to the bathroom in groups anyways?
Sam: LAZORRA NEVER PEES! NEVER!
LaZorra: I NEVER GO TO THE BATHROOM
LaZorra: WHAT SAM SAID
Sam: Unless it's for a good cause. http://www.rinkworks.com/comics/?c=19
LaZorra: Phan: I did not see bathroom activitires noted on the invitation...
ThePhan: LZ: It's mostly a surprise.
ThePhan: "Activitires"?
ThePhan: Tires that can only be activated in the bathroom.
* Sam HUGS LaZorra!
LaZorra: Maybe those are special toilets with tired on them.
* LaZorra HUGS Sam!
LaZorra: Sam: LOL LOL
Randy: LOL
LaZorra: *tired
LaZorra: Toilets with tired on them would perhaps be stalls in which people took naps.
Randy: Been there...
ThePhan: Toilets with tired and tires on them are my wedding favors.
ThePhan: Stalls to nap in... on wheels.
LaZorra: Dude. Best favors EVAR.

The Ability to Impregnate

(In the middle of a discussion about the Merida makeover. Ticia was discussing it with someone online.)

Ticia: The idiot responded to me.
Ticia: "I'm not complaining about strong women; I'm complaining about turning traditional female characters into something they were not for the sake of modern feminism (which isn't very feminine). How's your upper body strength? Let me know when you get another woman pregnant."
Ticia: OH, I'm sorry, am I not being FEMININE ENOUGH FOR YOU
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Ticia: And I don't even get the pregnant part of his comment.
ThePhan: That response is ridiculous
Sam: Er, LOL? What?
Ticia: I guess the ability to impregnate a woman how we're judging strength and awesomeness, now.
Ticia: *is how
Maryam: You can't be strong without being manly? Apparently?
Goosey: that's hilarious
ThePhan: I thought maybe he was implying that upper body strength is directly connected to the ability to impregnate.
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: Just tell him "Let me know when you push another human being out through your privates, then we'll talk about strength."
Ticia: LOL
Sam: And as we all know, the ability to impregnate is directly correlated with how good you are with a bow.
Ticia: Ha!
ThePhan: Robin Hood could impregnate women just by looking at them.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Every single person in England right now is one of his descendants.
* Ticia cries from laughing so hard.
.
.
.
Sentynel: Phan: He's my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.
Sentynel: And it took me that long to make that joke because I was looking up when Robin Hood was set and working out how many generations that would be.
ThePhan: Sent: LOL
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Of course you were.
Ticia: LOL
Sentynel: ^_^

RinkWorks on TVTropes

Ticia: check out the quote at the top of this page http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AerithAndBob
iwpg: Nice.
Dave: SEEN IT
Dave: UR LATE TICIA
Dave: HA HA BURN
Dave: No seriously, that's awesome.
Ticia: lol
Ticia: I'm slowly ready through that reddit thread you posted early, Dave.
Dave: Let me guess, you found that on the reddit thread about things you hate in fantasy books?
Dave: Because that's where I found it. :-)
Dave: AND IT RULED
Dave: I was like "HEY TVTROPES I'M FAMOUS"
Ticia: lol!
Ticia: Yea
Sam: How come everybody's posting that link now? Oh, it's on reddit?
Sam: Because that's been there for years.
Sam: And rules.
Dave: THANKS FOR NOT TELLING ME FOR YEARS
Sam: Dave: It's been talked about a lot in RinkChat. What are the odds if I go back in the logs I'll find me telling you about it?
Sam: I don't know for a fact that I did, but you have to admit, it's a very distinct possibility.
Dave: Sam: ZERO ODDS U NEVAR TOLD ME
Dave: And if you say you did, you lie.
Dave: I have no proof you didn't just insert that into the logs somewhere then claim to find it just now.
Dave: I ADMIT NOTHING
Ticia: lol
Goosey: LOL
Sam: Hang on, I'm typ--finding it now.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: Sam: Hey Dave, I see the Fantasy Novelist's Exam is quoted on tvtropes. // Dave: Why yes, I see that the Fantasy Novelist's Exam is quoted on tvtropes. // Sam: I bet in approximately three years you will forget I told you this, ha ha. // Dave Yes, I also bet I will forget about this too, ha ha.
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: Looks legit to me.
Dave: WHOA
Dave: That is so incredibly specific, it couldn't POSSIBLY be a fabrication!
ThePhan: LOL
iwpg: LOL

Mountains Aren't Natural

LaZorra: I was talking to one girl who grew up here, and I said I was from California where we had lots of mountains. Her eyes got big, and she said, "Mountains freak me out. That's not natural."
Goosey: LOL
LaZorra: I was like, "Uh...pretty sure they are...but okay..."
TalkingDog: that is a silly person
Goosey: That's awesome
TalkingDog: Did she say where they came from?
LaZorra: so silly
TalkingDog: Maybe they are from Space Mountain.
LaZorra: TD: From the look on her face, she wanted to stop thinking about mountains as soon as possible.
LaZorra: YES
LaZorra: oh man
Goosey: Hahaha
TalkingDog: What if she thinks that mountains are like Space Mountain and Splash Mountain? If those are the only mountains you know, they are pretty unnatural.
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: You know, that's very true.
TalkingDog: I need some kind of "TD Explains" blog.
LaZorra: Yes, you do.
Goosey: LOL YES
LaZorra: Although, if all mountains were like Space Mountain or Slapsh Mountain, my commute to college would have been a lot more fun.

Get Down Tonight

Sam: What, I come back from a walk, and nobody's said anything?
Sam: You people need to entertain me better.
Goosey: sorry
Sam: I should hope so.
Sam: Now make amends.
Sam: Do a little dance.
Dave: Make a little love.
Sam: Get down tonight.
Goosey: Get down tonight.
* Goosey does a little dance.
Sam: Is that my cue to make a little love?
Counterpoint: -;-
Counterpoint: -;'
Counterpoint: ';-
Counterpoint: ';'
Counterpoint: -;'
Counterpoint: ';-
Counterpoint: -;-
Counterpoint: A little dance.
Sam: LOL
Sam: Nicely done.
Goosey: LOL
Nyperold: Presumably, Goosey already has down. ;-)
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: Yes, and I'm not sharing. Get your own.

Darker Warker Marker

ThePhan: So it turns out that if you're really tired and not paying attention when you write stuff, you can write "darker warker marker" when you meant "darker winter months."
ThePhan: Proofreading is definitely my friend today.
Sentynel: LOL LOL
[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'darker warker marker' by Sentynel.
Nyperold: A writing tool of decreased luminosity that makes chocobo noises.
Randy: hehe
Sam: It's a one-way hashing algorithm. Take the first consonants of every word, and replace the rest with "arker."
Sam: Arker arker arker-warker harker arker. Tarker tharker farker carker arker arker warker, arker rarker tharker rarker warker "arker."
ThePhan: Tharker carker, barker sarker ARKER!
Nyperold: Marker, harker brarker.
ThePhan: Warker karker sarker larker tharker Swarker Charker.
Nyperold: (Mmm, hash browns.)
Sam: LOL
ThePhan: "Mmm" -> "Mmmarker"?
Sam: Yarker.
Randy: Garker
Nyperold: Warker, arker darker harker. Tarker barker arker carker arker arker.
Sam: Nyp: I can't smurf that.
Nyperold: (Well, it's definitely hashed. Too bad I can't understand anything.)
Sam: But that's why it's a one-way hash.
Sam: You can talk in CODE.
Sam: UNINTERCEPTIBLE CODE
Sentynel: Barker, barker, barker.
Sentynel: (-the Swedish chef.)
Randy: varker, varker, varker.
Randy: (-Julius Ceasar)
Randy: barker!
Randy has left.
Goosey has entered.
Goosey: I love when I come in here and read the buffer and have NO IDEA what is going on.
ThePhan: LARKER LARKER LARKER
ThePhan: (LOL LOL LOL)

Catapultably

ThePhan: No, fingers, "catapability" is not a word. The word you want is "compatibility."
Sam: CATAPULTABLY!!
iwpg: "catapability" = "compatibility with being catapulted"
Sam: ThePhan, I must say you are looking positively catapultable tonight.
iwpg: (Sam beat.)
Sam: Mwahaha.
* ThePhan is not sure she wants to be catapultable.
Sam: Oh.
Sam: Well, I can think of a way to test and see if you are or not.
Sam: You'd rest easier knowing for sure.
Sam: Mwahaha.
iwpg: It's always nice to have the option, even if you don't want to do it for now.

Corporate Speak

Sentynel: Somebody was complaining about a different stake-related saying at work today - "stakeholders", as an irritating bit of corporate speak.
Sentynel: He proposed we replace all uses of "stakeholders" with "van helsings".
Sam: Are stakeholders not just stockholders?
Sentynel: Sam: As in "stakeholders in this decision" or whatever.
Sam: That's awful.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: As a general term for people who are interested in and/or affected by something.
Sentynel: We have a page on the internal wiki which functions as a dictionary for awful corporate speak. It has a good couple of hundred entries at the moment, of varying levels of stupidity.
Sam: I hope you leverage synergies to maintain it.
Sam: ...on a going forward basis.
Sentynel: Sam: "synergies" isn't on the list, which means nobody's caught it being used, which is nice.
Goosey: Sam: Don't forget you have a paradigm in there somewhere.
Sentynel: "Leverage" and "going forward" both are, though.
Sentynel: "Paradigm" is too.
Sam: "Going forward" is mid-level stupidity, but it escalates to high-level stupidity if it modifies "basis."
Sam: I don't mind "paradigm" so much, though, because at least in my experience that's what the word actually means.
Sentynel: Other items that particularly annoy me: "upskilling", meaning "training"; "in slower time" and "in quicker time" meaning "later" and "sooner"; and "touch base" meaning "talk to" (though this one has the advantage that if somebody uses it four times in a meeting, you get to shout "home run!" at them).
Sentynel: And probably a bunch more that are currently escaping me.
Maryam: 'Going forward' is only mid-level? It sounds utterly meaningless to me.
Maryam: LOL at home run.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: "Going forward, we're going to route customer service calls through this new tool." That's not terrible, just kind of clumsy. But "We're going route customer service calls through this tool on a going forward basis." is retarded.
Sentynel: Maryam: You clearly haven't encountered the refined upper echelons of idiotic corporate speak...
Maryam: Sent: This is true.
TalkingDog: Does the meaning change if you leave "going forward" out entirely?
Maryam: So it means 'from this point in time on'? I guess there's some meaning there then.
Sam: TD: Not particularly.
Sam: But similar phrases are used in every day English. "From now on" means the same thing, is probably superfluous about as often, but doesn't make me want to punch anybody.
Sam: I have thankfully never encountered "upskilling" or "in slower time". Those are horrible.
Sam: Those terms clearly call for extended variations. Tomorrow, right before the lunch break, you should announce that you're gonna go upnourish.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: The best comment on the whole page, though, is when somebody commented that a particular item ("space", I think) had probably been pilfered from mathematical vocabulary, where it has various particular, defined meanings. Somebody commented that words with multiple precise meanings seemed to be common in maths. And the reply was the following gem:
Sentynel: "Mathematicians have a lot of meaning and a shortage of words, so they have to share multiple meanings across some words. Management have a lot of words and a shortage of meaning, so they have to share the same meaning out across multiple words."
Goosey: Sent: nice!
Maryam: Snrk.
Sam: LOL LOL
Sam: Thanks for upfunning the chat room, Sentynel.
Sam: ...That sounds unpleasant and probably obscene. I should think about up puns in slower time on a going forward basis.
Sentynel: You mean, "you value my contribution to the delivery of the overarching goal of upfunning the stand-up discussion space".
Sentynel: I'm going to go and shoot myself now.
Sam: LOL
Sam: Upskill.
Sam: Ugh, I wanna punch something.
Sentynel: Oh, you know what else I just remembered?
Sentynel: "disbenefit".
Sam: Some of the corporate terms are awful and yet don't have especially obvious or fluid natural alternatives. But, look, the word is TRAIN. You TRAIN people. SIMPLE.
Goosey: LOL
TalkingDog: I wonder if people don't want to be thought of as trained animals.
TalkingDog: Not that that excuses such a goofy word.
Sam: "Core competencies" is one I don't mind so much just because what it means doesn't have a particularly easy alternative. You can say "What we're good at," but that's harder to drop into whatever arbitrary sentence you might be saying, and "primary strengths" is somewhat more vague and not much less corporatey.
TalkingDog: "Main stats"
Sentynel: My manager's manager pointed out that if you're being trained, it implies the responsibility is on other people to train you right. But if you're upskilling, then it's your problem.
Nyperold: I should contribute to the delivery of the goal of upcleaning the moisture removal cloths.
Goosey: TD: lol
Sam: And "paradigm," as I said earlier. It's corporatey, but it also actually means something.
Sentynel: Sam: I hate "core competencies" primarily because it's meaningless bullstuff that I'm assessed on, rather than how well I'm doing my ACTUAL JOB.
TalkingDog: It'd be fun if corporate speak was replaced by gamer speak.
Sentynel: The word itself isn't particularly bad.
Goosey: TD: YES
Sentynel: Words.
Sam: Sent: I'm gonna email you my credit card number. Please book me a flight to London and arrange for a rental car and lodging near your place of work. I'll come over on a weekend, kick your manager's manager square in the privates, and fly back.
Sentynel: Sam: To be fair to the guy, he was pointing this out as a criticism of the word.
Sam: Oh.
Goosey: lol
Sam: I guess he may continue to father children then.
Sentynel: He's a decent guy, actually. But feel free to come over and kick all the people who use this sort of thing seriously.
Sam: Okay!
TalkingDog: "Upraise futurelings"
* TalkingDog is just making up words now.
Sentynel: TD: SO ARE THEY
TalkingDog: True enough.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: TD: To increase our company's rep, it is important to kite noobs rather than tank-and-spanking them.
TalkingDog: hehehe
Ticia has left.
Sam: Aww, Ticia proceded on a leaving basis.
Counterpoint: RinkChat plugin.
Sam: LOL
Sam: It could just be one of the language translations for RC.
Goosey: Sam: You misarranged the alphabetical symbolism of that word on an accidental basis, didn't you?
Sam: "Sam has conceived the chat room's mission statement to be...."
Sam: Goosey: possibly?
TalkingDog: That would rule.
Goosey: *proceeded?
Sentynel: You know what bothers me? When we're deliberately trying to produce the most ridiculous corporate speak possible... IT STILL SOUNDS LESS STUPID THAN EXAMPLES OF THE REAL THING.
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL
Sam: Huh. Why yes. Yes I did misarrange the alphabetical symbolism of that word on an accidental basis.
Ticia has entered.
Ticia: Managers need to update their verbiage periodically so that they are still relevant in a burgeoning workforce.
Sentynel: It's not a workforce any more, it's a resource.
Ticia: Dang
Sam: Sentynel, I believe it's asynchronous with our relational competencies to use the word "stupid" like that. Going forward, perhaps a paradigmatic shift to the word "downsmarting" would be less of a disbenefit.
Counterpoint: I just watch The Apartment recently. "On an accidental basis"/accidentally reminds me of how all the corporatespeak there made pseudoadverbs with -wise. Accidentwise.
Ticia: Why are they still called "Managers" that term is so archaic.
Ticia: *?
Sam: I do feel significantly downsmarted from when this conversation began.
Ticia: You need to uplearn some skillosities.
Sam: Sentynel.
Sam: Seriously, UPSKILLING?
Goosey: Sam: I am feeling upwardly sympathetic for you, downsmarted predicamentwise.
Sam: I just triple-took on that.
Sentynel: Clearly, the goal of upsmarting the team is a deferred success.
Sam: UPSKILLING?!?
Sentynel: Sam: Seriously. I know.
Maryam: Does 'deferred success' mean 'failure'?
Sam: I've been to some terrible corporate meetings before, but I don't think I've ever heard anything THAT terrible. Maybe we just use different terrible words.
Maryam: What happens to success deferred? Does it dry up, like a raisin in the sun?
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: You mean, "does it unmoisture, like an exgrape in the --" never mind. I can't do it.
Sentynel: Maryam: The approximate translation is "we screwed up big time, but if you give us twice as much money and some more people we think we can rescue it."
Ticia: Don says "So, you're not drinking, you're downsloshing."
Sam: Or is it upsloshing?
Sam: With that one it's hard to tell.
* Nyperold is returning on a coming back basis.
Sam: I'm kind of surprised "hiring" hasn't become "upsizing" yet. (Or has it?) That's kind of a giveaway that political correctness is as much a factor here as the egos of managers trying to sound smart.
Sam: We hire people and...downsize.
TalkingDog: Isn't it "rightsizing" now or something?
Ticia: We're upsizing our resources.
Maryam: TD: I was about to ask the same thing.
Sam: Rightsizing could go either way.
Sentynel: Sam: Argh, there was a really stupid word for hiring on the list. It wasn't upsizing, but I can't remember what it was.
TalkingDog: Hmm. Upstaffing?
Sam: Something about growing?
Ticia: We need to proactively envisioneer parallel interfaces.
Sam: I don't get how some people can use these terms with a straight face.
Ticia: http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html?bullstuff=you%27re+fired
Sam: I couldn't possibly, even if so directed.
Ticia: that got filtered. lol
TalkingDog: I think I've also heard "brightsizing".
Sam: hahaha
Ticia: replace the word "Stuff" with the relevant curse word.
Goosey: We need to conveniently whiteboard high-quality strategic theme areas
TalkingDog: I don't remember what it was meant to mean exactly. And it may have been a Dilbert comic.
Goosey: Ticia: The url still worked for me
Ticia: oh, good. lol
Goosey: WhizManager: quickly mesh interactive expertise!
Sentynel: Goosey: YES
Ticia: LOL
Sam: Goosey: You are upsized!
Goosey: WM: quickly mesh interactive expertise~
Ticia: I sense a new bot.
Goosey: *monotonectally brand an expanded array of paradigms
Goosey: Sam: Yay!
iwpg: LOL
Goosey: Somebody PLEASE actually make that bot
Goosey: We have InsultBot, why not ManagerBot? They could have meetings together!
Sentynel: Ticia's link reminds me of another one - 24x7x365. Meaning "constantly". This is stupid on so many levels.
Goosey: Sent: Uh.
Sam: Surely corporate speak is too complex and nuanced to be accurately simulated by a computer program.
Maryam: Sent: Wait what?
Maryam: That's terrible.
iwpg: Obviously it means 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 weeks a heptayear.
Goosey: Sam: Ticia's link does it
Maryam: iwpg: hahaha
Sam: I've heard 24-7, but not anything beyond that.
Goosey: It intrinsicly simplifies tactical infomediaries
Sentynel: I'm pretty sure you could just stick the word lists on Ticia's link into the existing Whiz code and you'd be pretty much sorted.
Sam: Yes.
Sentynel: HINT HINT
Goosey: DO IT SMA
Ticia: lol
Sam: I admit it falls within the parameters of my core competencies, but I have to leverage my time in faster time.

Deny Your Faith or Die

ThePhan: Uh, FB friend posts, "There will come a day when I will be asked to deny my faith or die. Will I be prepared to die? Will I know why I'm standing up for my faith and what I believe?"
ThePhan: There WILL come a day?
ThePhan: Is this just something that happens to everyone at one point or another?
ThePhan: She lives in Georgia.
Goosey: lol
ThePhan: I don't think that day is coming any time soon.
Goosey: You don't know. She might have it penciled in for next month
Dave: That's happening next Tuesday, right?
Dave: It's marked as a holiday on my calendar. "Deny Your Faith or DIE" day is what it's called, apparently.
Dave: Of course we don't get it off.
ThePhan: Well, that's what I get for not going to church for awhile. I missed the memo.
Dave: So I'll be at work with all the other heathens denying faith.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Also, that last sentence... if you don't know why you're standing up for your faith and what you believe, WHY ARE YOU DOING IT?
ThePhan: "OK, deny your faith or die." "I choose death." "Why?" "Hadonno."
Dave: "Seems like the thing to do."
ThePhan: "A Facebook status told me to."
Sentynel: Phan: When that day came for me, it led to several years of legal battles to determine whether I could, in fact, deny my faith when I don't have one.
Sentynel: The good news is, apparently I can, so I'm still here.
ThePhan: Sent: Well, I'm glad you're still here.
Maryam: That all reminds me of CAKE OR DEATH.
Goosey: LOL
Dave: Yeah, I'm hoping they give you more than a few seconds to answer the question. I mean, if it's just like "DENY YOUR FAITH OR DIE!" and I say "What faith?" I hope they don't just go "BANG" At least give me a chance to logic this conundrum out.
Goosey: LOL
Dave: That's like asking someone if he's stopped beating his wife.
Dave: I mean, first we have to establish if we're talking about African or European swallows.
Sentynel: Dave: It's Ninevah.
Dave: Uh, what is Ninevah?
Dave: You lost me.
Sentynel: The capital of Assyria.
Sentynel: I was answering one of the bridge-keeper's other questions. It's funny, see?
Goosey: LOL
Dave: You are far too advanced for me, sir.

PINK

ThePhan: One of my friends shared a photo the other day that was one of those "Pass this on and your true love will find you" things, but it started off by saying "90% of all couples marry their junior high/high school sweetheart!"
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: I responded and said, "That may be the most wildly incorrect statistic I have read all week."
Goosey: Hahahaha
ThePhan: Her response: "Oh hahaha I just like it because it's pink!"
ThePhan: PEOPLE ARE WEIRD
Goosey: WHAT
Dave: PINK
Dave: STATS R UNIMPORTANT
Dave: PINK SI IMPORTANT
Sam: Wait, the whole couple marries their junior high/high school sweetheart?
Sam: That's kinky.
Sam: Regardless, it sounds like only 10% need to pass on that note, as the other 90% have already met their true loves.
Dave: PINK
Sam: PINK
Dave: PINK WAS THE IMPRTANT TAKEAWEY
Sam: tak-ee-ah-way
Dave: FOOD
iwpg: PINK
Sam: PINK

Pregnancy Test

Sentynel: Okay, wow. The standard pregnancy test in the ~1950s was the following: 1) Take urine sample. 2) Inject said sample into a toad. 3) Observe toad for 24 hours. 4) If toad lays eggs, test is positive.
Sentynel: (Female toad, obviously.)
Ticia: lol
Goosey: lol
* Nyperold blinks.
Ticia: I wonder how long it took them to figure out that didn't work.
Sentynel: Oh, it worked.
Sentynel: It was phased out when we developed direct chemical tests for the antigens involved.
Ticia: ... seriously?
Sentynel: Yup.
Ticia: lol, okay then.
Sentynel: It was an improvement on previous tests, which used mice or rabbits, as the animal had to be killed and dissected so the ovaries could be examined.
Sentynel: The toad survived and could be used repeatedly.
Ticia: Poor toad.
LaZorra: ...
LaZorra: My brain wants to make some really bizarre parallel to kissing toads.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: LaZ: If you kiss a toad and it turns into a prince, you're pregnant? I think that's the wrong way around.

Marriage Is Work

ThePhan: Heh. One of my friends is, I think, really concerned that I don't understand how much work marriage is or something. She keeps telling me and I keep being like, "Yeah, but we'll be good," and she's like, "No, it's really difficult sometimes," and I'm like, "I know," and she's like, "You'll have to work really hard to make it work," and I'm like, "I THINK WE WILL BE OKAY."
ThePhan: People spouting marriage advice at me is weird. People freaking out that I'm not taking them seriously is weirder.
Randy: Maybe she should learn when to stop? hehe
ThePhan: I think she's just concerned because I suspect *she* went into her marriage not expecting work, and so she's trying to make sure I avoid that.
Ticia: Maybe she is expecting you to come to your senses and call off the wedding? "Oh, you are right, I hadn't thought about how much WORK it would be before I said yes! I shall renounce my marriage and move to a nunnery right away!"
Randy: GET THEE TO A NUNNERY
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: But even the kinds of stuff she's telling me we need to do is totally different, because she is nothing like either me or Jacob. She's super high-maintenance, and she's very different from her husband.
ThePhan: So her advice is things like, "I bet you guys have trouble communicating because you just don't understand each other," and that's really not the case.
Sentynel: CANCEL ALL RELATIONSHIPS IMMEDIATELY
Sentynel: TURNS OUT PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED
Ticia: Hah!
ThePhan: LOL
Maryam: LOL
Sam: Phan: People are really weird. My advice is to just be polite and smile and nod and also to remember that marriage is work, like, I mean, you really have to work at it a lot all the time and it's hard work too.
ThePhan: Or, "Sometimes you're going to have to learn to leave each other alone," and I'm like WE ARE BOTH INTROVERTS. This is not a concept we are unclear on.
ThePhan: Sam: LOL, thanks.
Sam: NO PROBLEM.
Sam: i MEAN, THERE IS A PROBLEM.
Sam: IT TAKES WOOORRRRRK, I TELL YOU.
Ticia: No, marriage is sunshine and roses.
Sam: I agree with that. It's million degree heat and flowers that die in a couple days.
Sam: I kid, of course.
Sam: No, marriage is actually WROK. It's an adventure game where every option is "Be weird."

(We talked seriously for a little bit about legitimate things to worry about in relationships, and how weird it is when people get worried that Jacob and I haven't ever had a fight.)

Sam: You seem to me like you're a pretty practical person and not ever the delusion you'll NEVER fight, which I suppose is the case for some people.
ThePhan: Sam: Yeah, if we waited until we had a fight to make this happen, we'd be waiting for ages to get married. We're both kind of conflict-avoidy, but we've discussed at length how we *do* react to conflict and how we should approach it if we need to confront the other about something, that kind of thing.
ThePhan: So I'm pretty comfortable with that.
Sam: TP: It does not surprise me that you have talked it out and made that judgment. Like I said, you seem pretty practical and grounded to me.
Sam: ON THE OTHER HAND, MARRIAGE IS WORRRRRRRRRRRRRK. I DO NOT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THIS YET
.
.
.
* ThePhan is talking to Jacob right now and sharing this whole conversation.
Sentynel: Jacob: YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO START A FIGHT WITH HER BEFORE YOU'RE MARRIED
ThePhan: Sent: LOL LOL
Ticia: Fight!
Sentynel: I'm disturbed by how many of my contributions to this conversation have been ALLCAPS.
ThePhan: He says, "Uh, okay. I guess I'll think about that."
Ticia: Jacob: MARRIAGE IS A LOT OF WORK ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY I MEAN IT IS *A LOT* OF WORK.
ThePhan: He says, "I change my opinions a lot. Maybe I can change my opinion on something really big that's really important to you, so we can fight about it!"
Ticia: There you go
ThePhan: Maybe we can fight tonight!
Ticia: Maybe he can be an extrovert.
Sentynel: I'm now slightly concerned that Jacob's only encounter with me may have led him to think I'm a little strange.

Not a Fake

Sentynel: Spam email title: "Your UniversityMBADiploma. Actual, not a fake"
Sentynel: Amusingly, this somehow bypassed the spam filter.
Sam: Congratulations on your new degree!
Sentynel: Thanks.
Sentynel: I feel like I really earned this one.
TalkingDog: I read that as "University M BADiploma". It sounded awesome.
.
.
.
ThePhan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOOSEY
ThePhan: For real now :-)
Goosey: Yay thank you :D
Sam: Happy birthday and all, but let's not take the spotlight from Sentynel. He earned a degree today.
Sam: Sentynel, congratulations on receiving a spam!
Sentynel: THank you, thank you.
Goosey: Yay Sentynel!
Sentynel: Happy birthday Goosey!
Sentynel: (Hopefully your birthday wasn't announced via spam email.)
Sam: You have a birthday! (Not a fake.)

Rock Paper Scissors, Etc.

wintermute: http://static.neatorama.com/images/2005/rps-15.jpg
wintermute: I like that sponge beats devil.
Maryam: Why does wolf beat lightning?
Maryam: I don't think that system makes much sense.
Sentynel: http://www.umop.com/rps101/rps101chart.html RPS-15 is for amateurs.
wintermute: Dynamite beats tornado?
Sentynel: I'm pretty sure a sufficiently large amount of dynamite correctly placed and detonated would disrupt a tornado.
Sentynel: You might just need rather a lot.
ThePhan: Sent: IS AMAZING
Sentynel: I know I am.
ThePhan: LOL
wintermute: Turnip beats dragon.
Sentynel: Dragons are carnivorous. Turnips are probably poisonous or something.
ThePhan: If you click on them, it tells you why.
ThePhan: ...Turnip wins because it can be thrown at dragon.
ThePhan: Sent's explanation is better.
Sentynel: Woah, they wrote out what happens for all ~5k combinations? That's pretty impressive in itself.
Maryam: Dragons are usually intelligent too. Think they would just eat a turnip if you gave it to them?
Sentynel: Maryam: I don't think the RPS rules take into account intelligence of participants. After all, what sort of moron tries to cut a rock with scissors?
Maryam: Heh.
ThePhan: Sent: Yeah, that's my favorite part.
ThePhan: You can see ALL the outcomes in a list here: http://www.umop.com/rps101/alloutcomes.htm
wintermute: Planet goes to school?
ThePhan: (Incidentally, to address earlier concerns, wolf outruns lightning and sponge cleanses devil.)
Sentynel: That's either a very quick wolf or very slow lightning.
ThePhan: wm: Er... apparently
wintermute: LOL: http://www.umop.com/rps101/1.htm
wintermute: Lots of "Explodes".
wintermute: Computer prevents baby?
iwpg: So man beats brain because he has a brain, but turnip beats brain because it has no brain?
Maryam: If you're too addicted to the computer for procreation?
iwpg: Surely that means everything should beat brain one way or another?
Sentynel: TIL vampires are nuke-proof.
wintermute: Toilet attracts lightning?
wintermute: I'm never pooping there again.
Sentynel: LOL, toilet smells like nuke.
iwpg: "Toilet more legal than wall" is the one that really puzzled me there.

Little Kids Saying Things Wrong

Ticia: Joseph just asked me how a bulldog would kill you. So I asked him why he wanted to know, since it was so out of the blue. He said "Well, someday when I grow up and get married, my kids might want to know..."
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: He's thinking ahead.
ThePhan: It's like one of my favorite Seth stories, when we were working on correcting his speech impediment where his Ls came out as Ys (like = yike).
ThePhan: We were practicing different words and trying to get him to save them correctly, and he suddenly panicked and yelled, "I have to practice the word 'love'!"
ThePhan: "Why?"
ThePhan: "For when I get my wife!"
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: Ha!
ThePhan: We reassured him he had plenty of time to practice before that happened.
Ticia: Thomas has the same problem.
ThePhan: Er, and say them correctly. Not save.
Ticia: He says w instead of L, though.
ThePhan: Most kids I know do that. The Ls get turned into Ws.
Ticia: "Mom, can I sit on your wap?" "I don't have a wap. I have a lap, though.
ThePhan: Seth's was just funky.
Ticia: So we practice. He can say La. "La La La Wap!"
ThePhan: Since he also couldn't say his Rs (they turned into Ws), I discovered once that it made the words "clueless" and "curious" sounded exactly the same.
ThePhan: He kept talking once about somebody who was "cyueyess," and I kept going, "Curious?" "No! Cyueyess!" "...Curious?" "NO! Yike, without a cyue!"
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: LOL
* LaZorra comes back to the qindow and cracks up.
Nyperold: Qindows sure are funny!
Sam: My nephew learned the word "truck" before he could pronounce "tr" properly. So it would come out "kuck." But then when he learned the "tr" sound, he still kept saying "kuck," because by then that word was ingrained. So then he learned other "tr" words that he pronounced properly. Ultimately, he would be able to tell me that a certain vehicle was a "tractor-trailor kuck."
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: My tr sound came out as an f sound, when I was a kid.
Goosey: oops
Ticia: I didn't understand why mom didn't want me saying truck...
Ticia: :-D
Goosey: lol
LaZorra: Ticia: LOL
Goosey: My sister Katie just mixed up consonants all over the place
Goosey: Her favorite Disney princess was "Seeping Blooty"
Goosey: She wore a "shimming flute" to the pool
Goosey: The place where her arm bent was her "oboe"
Goosey: She ate kitchen in the chicken
Goosey: And she said "fish" backwards
Goosey: So when she (loudly) told my dad to feed the fish (and confused "feed" with "eat") it came out rather badly
Ticia: haha

Projer Orpber

LaZorra: WhOA: http://english.stackexchange.com/quest...5/what-is-the-rule-for-adjective-order
LaZorra: Adjectives have a projer orpber?
Goosey: a what? lol
LaZorra: er, proper order
Randy: hehe
Sam: Hey, hey, settle down, people!
Sam: Settle down!
Sam: Orpber! Orpber!
Goosey: LOL
Nyperold: Yes, we must do this projerly.
Sam: Good grief. Google for "projer orpber," and it figures out you probably meant "proper order." ???
Goosey: eek
Goosey: Sam: Google speaks LaZorra!
Sam: Oh, this explains it. Google Translate has a "LaZorra" language option.
Sam: So it knows.
Goosey: lol
Randy: haha
LaZorra: :-p
LaZorra: YOU SO FUNNY SMA