The Sam Reaction

(Goosey had sent me and LZ video messages of her saying "cupcake" in an accent and wiggling her eyebrows, as per the Eyebrow Party chat. When she visited Ticia, she sent us another one of both her and Ticia doing the same thing, but with actual cupcakes.)

Ticia: Goosey is at my house, and we have had cupcakes...

LaZorra: LOL

LaZorra: Yes. Yes you have.

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: That was the best video message ever.

ThePhan: I was like, "Goosey already sent me an eyebrow cupcake video. I don't need anoth--- OH HEY IT'S TICIA!"

Ticia: :-D

LaZorra: LOL

LaZorra: I had the SAM REACTION.

LaZorra: That is, I wanted to put glitter and fairy wings on both of you.

Sentynel: The SAM REACTION.

Sentynel: LOL

ThePhan: lol

ThePhan: Er, that was supposed to be more enthusiastic.

ThePhan: LOL

LaZorra: ha

Ticia: Goosey and I are both sitting here laughing at you.

Ticia: I mean, with you!

LaZorra: :-p

LaZorra: That is a very Sam reaction to have, Ticia.

TweetHal

We'd been playing with http://yes.thatcan.be/my/next/tweet/ which is a site that takes previous tweets and mashes them up in a MegaHal sort of way to make your supposed next tweet.

ThePhan: Mashed-up tweet of the day: "Heck yes to live by taking up ballet. There's a pimp. Seriously loved him even more. Haha..."

ThePhan: I guess I probably *would* love a pimp more if he took up ballet.

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: "Never let nature into my way without agreeing with a seedy-looking actor."

ThePhan: That should probably not be my life motto.

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: "Ah, Purple Rose is the sole purpose of Screwtape Letters."

ThePhan: That is so untrue.

Goosey: Hehehee.

ThePhan: LOL. "I have friends & Jason Robert Brown." What more could I possibly want in life?

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: LOL LOL

ThePhan: "I know the reactions of hell.-Jesus."

ThePhan: I'm pretty sure Jesus never said that.

Goosey: But it's probably true.

ThePhan: It probably si.

ThePhan: *is

ThePhan: "RinkChat is in Iowa and Unbreakable."

Goosey: So THAT's where the commune is!

ThePhan: "Weekly Artists: Witches of Alfred."

ThePhan: I would totally listen to a band called Witches of Alfred.

* ThePhan scratches her head.

Goosey: lol

ThePhan: "The Grapes of a twangy country song, I wouldn't have no idea who has a boring name, weird name."

Goosey: LOL LOL

ThePhan: "Well, I wouldn't have 11 Woody Allen quotes. Why do it. I haven't seen."

ThePhan: I'm pretty sure I HAVE seen enough of his movies to come up with 11 quotes of his. Heh.

ThePhan: LOL, and this is the weirdest review of anything: "Woody Allen movies suck so strange and gracious."

Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: "Online media is awesome. It was eating Daria and Geeks."

ThePhan: NO DO NOT EAT DARIA OR GEEKS!

ThePhan: THEY ARE MY ONLY FRIENDS

ThePhan: "I kept thinking, OH, AND THIS! The glass half full of Carnage. Whoo!"

Goosey: LOL LOL

Goosey: This almost makes me wish I had twitter, so I could see what kind of madness I come up with.

Goosey: I'd like to do that to my Rinkchat lines, really. Feed them all into a thing like that and make a GooseyHal.

ThePhan: Hehe

ThePhan: Yeah

ThePhan: LOL! "That's a guy that you think is GORGEOUS. Cannot wait."

Goosey: Hehehe

ThePhan: "WANT TO SEE. Tim Curry will have Shadows and see I wore black clothes but I just a silly answer." Yes. Yes, that is just a silly answer.

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: "I've just been told by a guy that Arabia will return to brush my favorites."

ThePhan: I have no idea what that means, but it sounds rather dirty.

Goosey: Uh, yeah it does, lol

LaZorra: I want to meet a ballet pimp.

LaZorra: Also, LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: "I'm missing my 1500th movie in White. I will be Lois Lane. Sweet."

ThePhan: This sounds like the trailer for a horror movie: "A dead person breathed on his hand. There is all the dark. Don't blink."

ThePhan: That's kind of terrifying.

Goosey: yiiiiikes

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: However, apparently I'm more scared by this:

ThePhan: "Ya know, it's freaking scary when they say I was uber silly."

Goosey: LOL LOL

Goosey: You are uber silly.

ThePhan: AAAAAHHHH NOOOOO DON'T SAY THAT

ThePhan: "Who wants to Benedict." I want to Benedict!

ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: "...It ended up in a stalker? Oh, dear. That's somewhat unproductive of bullet wounds."

ThePhan: Actually, I would say ending up in a stalker is quite a productive use of bullet wounds.

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: "It's a little choked up there at tying Aunt Edna to be sacrificially eaten by for 1970s!"

ThePhan: That definitely sounds like a moment where I'd get a little choked up.

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: LOL WHAT IS THIS

ThePhan: "I'm all dirtied. The End. Oy vey. SO LUDICROUS. Wait, wasn't locked. Now will have a room."

Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: What did I *do*?

ThePhan: Deep thought of the day: "Child actors are so many pieces of German."

ThePhan: As well as: "No good can spell neither 'camp' nor 'comfort.'"

ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: OK. This may be the last one because I really have to shower.

ThePhan: "This negative slideshow is essentially Godzilla vs. Whoever, but made from potatoes?"

Goosey: That would be the best artistic film EVER

Braib Nade

Sentynel: My braib nade and exit through my ears a couple of years ago.

Sentynel: *brain made an

ThePhan: Sent: I was trying really hard to decipher that one.

ThePhan: "Braib nade? Is this an expression from the UK I just don't know?"

LaZorra: TP: My first instinct was that he was quoting Jabberwocky.

ThePhan: LOL

iwpg: You guys are awesome.

ThePhan: Jabberwocky is made up of a bunch of typos.

ThePhan: It's really a business meeting memo.

Sentynel's Intervention

Sentynel: Subversion is icky.

Sentynel: Git is where it's at.

LaZorra: Yeah, I meant to start a git repository for this project/

Sentynel: I have one!

Sentynel: (Yes, I started a git repo for the couple of code snippets you sent me. I may have a problem.)

LaZorra: Well, I meant a local one, LOL.

LaZorra: Oh. Wait. YOU ARE SERIOUS.

Sentynel: yes. Yes I am.

LaZorra: YOU NEED A TWELVE-STEP.

Sentynel: What's the URL to check that out?

* Randy doesn't know what you are talking about, so he just nods his head and agrees.

* Sam begin an intervention. We should go down the user list, taking turns telling Sentynel how much his addiction to git repos (kids today and their street slang!) has hurt us.

goldfishy: What is an intervention?

* Sentynel hangs around in the back alleys of the internet asking questionable characters for git URLs

Ticia: fishy: it's when all your friends and family corner you and tell you that your addiction has to stop or they will not support you anymore.

LaZorra: SENTYNEL YOUR ADDICTION TO GIT REPOS HAS NOT AFFECTED ME IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER

LaZorra: (Like that?)

goldfishy: Sent: your addiction has taught me something - thank you - I shall bookmark that in case of future need

Randy: LOL

* Sentynel doesn't think Sam's intervention is working out very well.

Sam: It's a cunning form of reverse psychology. It works even though I've now made you aware of it.

Sam: My turn. Sentynel, your addiction to git repos has caused me moments of delirious amusement.

* Sam draws the noose tighter.

Easter Eggs

Randy: Sheesh http://nation.foxnews.com/culture/2011...ool-renames-easter-eggs-spring-spheres

Goosey: Randy: WHAT

LaZorra: Is it bad that my first reaction to that is not cultural disgust, but rather horror at the fact that "sphere" is not the geometrically correct term for an egg?

Goosey: PEOPLE ARE RIDICULOUS

Goosey: SO WHAT IF IT IS CALLED AN EASTER EGG

Goosey: THE HOLIDAY HAS BEEN COMMERCIALIZED OUT OF MOST RELIGIOUS MEANING ANYWAY

LaZorra: I was going to say, Easter eggs are not exactly Biblical...

Randy: Right

LaZorra: AND THE LORD SAITH, "I WILL CREATE A HARE OF PROPORTIONS GIGANTIC, AND HE SHALL HIDE UNBORN OFFSPRING NOT OF HIS OWN KIND FOR THE SONS OF MEN"

Sour Cream Potato Cream

Sentynel: I should go to bed. However, I am hungry, so a snack is called for first.

ThePhan: If you come here, you can have cheddar and sour cream potato cream.

ThePhan: Er, potato chips.

ThePhan: No idea what potato cream would be.

Sentynel: Sounds creamy.

Sentynel: I believe the bread bin downstairs can offer me a toasted teacake, so you have that to beat.

Sentynel: It'd better be significantly, too, by the time I get there to eat it.

ThePhan: Toasted teacakes are no match for sour cream potato cream!

Billy Joel/Avenged Sevenfold Mashup

ThePhan: (Incidentally, while we're talking singing... for those who have not heard and care, this is me: http://www.karaokeplay.com/recordings/new-york-state-of-mind-5617649.html )

Sentynel: I paused that while it was loading, but it started itself.

ThePhan: CREEPY

Sentynel: You were briefly performing a strange duet with Avenged Sevenfold, which was a somewhat strange effect.

Sentynel: -superfluous strange

ThePhan: Sent: LOL LOL

ThePhan: Billy Joel + Avenged Sevenfold deserves two stranges.

Vin Diesel

Grishny: I bet she drove really fast.

* Goosey goes to wash honey off her face.

Grishny: Like Vin Diesel.

Maryam: Vin Diesel has honey on his face?

goldfishy: Yeah that's why he drives fast

goldfishy: Has to get home and wash his face asap

Jesenia Go to the Shawsheen

(Posted earlier than most of my chat logs because Ghost of Sam doesn't show up in transcripts so I had to grab this one early.)

Ghost of Sam: I need an interpreter.

Goosey: To interpret what to what?

Ghost of Sam: Somebody texts me. Says 'Heyy'. I respond, 'Hi. Who's this?' Because it's my work phone,and it's the right area code, so I figured it was someone from the company that I should add as a contact.

Ghost of Sam: The response: 'Jesenia go to the shawsheen'.

Ghost of Sam: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Ghost of Sam: I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE LANGUAGE OF KIDS TODAY.

Goosey: LOL

Goosey: Just reply "Yet me tom" and keep the confusion going.

Nyperold: I think you've just been texted by Señor Cardgage.

Goosey: Nyp: LOL!

Ghost of Sam: I think I might have figured it out, thanks to the Urban Dictionary.

Sentynel: Urban Dictionary rules.

Ghost of Sam: Apparently I've been summoned by a cute slut on Shawsheen St. in Tewksbury, Mass.

Sentynel: LOL LOL

Ghost of Sam: I foresee a future where every possible thought will be expressed in a single word, which you have to look up in the urban dictionary.

Sentynel: Wherein you'll get five different answers.

Ghost of Sam: LOL, yeah. It'll be something like EITHER a crackhead broke into my car and stole my floormats, so I'd better go tape plastic over the windows before it rains in too much, OR someone wants to know if I'd like to organize a spontaneous pole dance in front of the Capitol building next Thursday.

Sim Stories

Dave: AH KITCHEN FIRE
Dave: It's ok now.
Dave: Don't be alarmed.
Goosey: Dave: O__O
Randy: Dave: yikes!
ThePhan: Dave: If you were a Sim, you'd go and stand directly in the middle of it, then wave your hands over your head screaming until you burned up and became an urn on the kitchen floor.
Dave: No, I know to run from kitchen fires. Thankfully, Carrie knows to take the burnt pot off the stove and turn it off. Then come find me running down the street.
ThePhan: LOL
Goosey: LOL LOL
Kalimeris: On my first sims game, the first time I played... I remember walking away for 5 minutes
Kalimeris: and returning to everyone crying, piles of ash EVERYWHERE
Kalimeris: 2 people dead, it was a mess.
ThePhan: Yeah, first thing you do for the Sims is get them a fire detector in that kitchen.
ThePhan: That and a trash can. Otherwise they start throwing their plates everywhere and pretty soon they can't move.
Goosey: Not very bright, are they?
goldfishy: I think if they are that stupid I would be helping them to kill themselves...
* goldfishy would be the devil rather than god it seems
Nyperold: A legitimate and common way to play.
ThePhan: goldfishy: It's kind of fun to leave them to their own devices and see what madness ensues.
Dave: The first time I ever played the Sims, I made a guy who did nothing but sit on the couch crying because he couldn't get a date.
Dave: I was like "Great, I created me." And then I never played again.
ThePhan: I created one family who I just leave alone. If they ask me to buy them something, I will, because they can't do that on their own, and I got jobs for them, but everything else was their own choice.
ThePhan: Their first choice on moving into the house was to buy a giant telescope.
ThePhan: This left no money for beds.
Goosey: LOL
Kalimeris: hahahahaha
goldfishy: Who needs a bed when you can spend all night stargazing?
Kalimeris: :-)
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: Everyone ended up just passing outside or on the floor whenever their sleep meter got too low.
ThePhan: I got them all jobs, they earned some money, I went to buy them beds... but noooo, they wanted a television instead.
Randy: LOL
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: They ended up with so many accessories and nothing useful.
Goosey: They sound almost human lol
ThePhan: They also ended up with no money to buy groceries.
ThePhan: This was because they'd bought a bar for their kitchen.
ThePhan: So their teenage son kept from starving that day by making himself about 30 mixed drinks.
goldfishy: And then died of alcohol poisoning?
ThePhan: Nope. He didn't even seem to have any impairment.
ThePhan: I was impressed.
goldfishy: Wow
goldfishy: Most people have to build up to that kinda tolerance
ThePhan: They did get their 10-year-old daughter taken away from them, though, because I forgot the game doesn't let kids make their own food and none of the adults ever made food for her on their own.
ThePhan: So social services came and took their starving daughter away, which was probably a good thing.
ThePhan: LOL ALSO
ThePhan: I forgot this was this family.
ThePhan: The teenage son, for some reason, never wanted to go to the bathroom on his own. So he'd just pee on the floor.
ThePhan: Finally he started going to the bathroom without me making him do it.
Goosey: Wow, lol
ThePhan: For the next two days, his grandfather followed him around congratulating him on not wetting his pants.
ThePhan: That is ALL the grandfather did.
Goosey: TP: That is HILARIOUS
ThePhan: Even when the kid went to sleep, the grandfather tried to wake him up to tell him this.
Dave: That's really all grandfather's are useful for.
Goosey: LOL
Dave: Probably the old guy was just so excited not to have to fall asleep in the pee again. Since they didn't have beds.
ThePhan: Dave: LOL, this is quite possibly true.
ThePhan: Sims also get WEIRD about relationships.
Randy: LOL LOL
Kalimeris: So do people.
Kalimeris: SO MANY CREEPY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD
Dave: One of the first things I did with one Sims character I made was invite a couple over. THen I secduced the woman and kicked the guy out. That was badass.
ThePhan: Dave: LOL
ThePhan: I had this one Sim family whose goal was romance, which basically means "have sex (or, as they call it in the Sim world, 'woohoo') with as many people as possible."
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: Once the chick part of this Sim family randomly invited over TWO guys she was in a relationship with.
ThePhan: They both showed up at the house. She climbed into the hot tub with one of them and they woohooed while the other one stood around casually looking at the grass or the sky.
ThePhan: She gets out of the hot tub with the guy, and proceeds to tell him a joke.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: This makes the bystander guy super jealous, and he proceeds to yell at her, storm out, and then steal her newspaper and leave literal bags of flaming poo on her doorstep for the next week.
Dave: That's pretty awesome.
Randy: LOL
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
Randy: I just laughed so hard I snorted
ThePhan: So apparently he's totally cool with her having sex with other guys. But telling other guys jokes crosses a line.
Kalimeris: So out of line.
Kalimeris: Love the flaming poo treatment.
goldfishy: Do they actually just sit there and yell "Wooohoooo!" and that's it?
ThePhan: goldfishy: Well, you click on the "woohoo" option and, depending where they are, they dive either under the covers or underwater and you see them floundering around for awhile giggling, and then there are fireworks.
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: Kali: It's awesome when they take revenge on former loves, because they maniacally laugh as they approach the house.
ThePhan: Flaming poo is not so common, but a lot of times they'll steal newspapers or kick over trash cans.
ThePhan: I love the speech bubbles that appear above Sims' heads that show you what they're talking about.
goldfishy: I keep thinking you're saying Sam's head
goldfishy: I was imagining him with speech bubbles
ThePhan: It's awesome when someone runs into someone's room and starts screaming at them and you discover they're apparently angry about turkey.
Randy: Sam's speech bubbles would be all camou-fairy and LaZorra Typos
Goosey: LOL

Shower Race

LaZorra has entered.
LaZorra: I DO NOT KNOW WHY I CAME IN I AM HEADED TO THE SHOWER
LaZorra is away.
ThePhan: I will go shower at the same time LaZ does but I will be back VERY FAST and work on my paper.
Goosey: ME TOO
Goosey: SHOWER RACE
Goosey is away.
ThePhan: EVERYONE HAS TO SHOWER RIGHT NOW
ThePhan: I WILL WIN
Randy: LOL LOL
ThePhan is away.
.
.
.
TalkingDog: nom nom popcorn
ThePhan is back.
ThePhan: I forgot I had ALL THE HAIRSPRAY IN THE STATE OF INDIANA in my hair.
Randy: LOL LOL
ThePhan: Silly show.
* TalkingDog is getting to the gross layer, where the butter goo has collected at the bottom and has been soaking in. Woooo.
ThePhan: TD: LOL LOL. In my mind you were talking about showers. If you have a layer of butter goo that has soaked into your skin, that is a problem.
ThePhan: That would indeed be a very gross layer.
Goosey: TP: ME TOO
TalkingDog: Oops.
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

Label Chatting

ThePhan has entered.

ThePhan: Hrm. Well, this may not work.

goldfishy: Phan!

goldfishy: Why not?

ThePhan: I've signed in on the theater computers, and there is no actual chat screen. I just see the user list and this box.

Goosey: PHAN

ThePhan: I can always just throw in blind comments to whatever you guys could be saying.

[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'HI PHAN! say goldfishy and Goosey' by goldfishy.

Goosey: LOL

Goosey: goldfishy you are BRILLIANT

ThePhan: Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: goldfishy: That's exactly what I was thinking!

* ThePhan agrees with Maryam.

(All those three comments were blind comments, me pretending I could participating in the conversation. The first two just happened to kind of coincide with what was going on.)

[RinkChat] User Goosey has been labeled 'How are you, Phan?' by Goosey.

Maryam: LOL

[RinkChat] User Maryam has been labeled 'Did you manage a nap?' by Maryam.

ThePhan: I'm doing great, Goosey!

ThePhan: LOL I love you guys.

[RinkChat] User Goosey has been labeled 'Yay! Glad to hear it!' by Goosey.

ThePhan: Rehearsal's going great.

[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'WE LOVE PHAN!' by goldfishy.

Maryam: Suddenly Phan is inundated with chat just because of the novel way to do it.

.

.

.

[RinkChat] User Goosey has been labeled 'Have you tried reloading the pag' by Goosey.

goldfishy: *pagan?

ThePhan: Goosey: Multiple times.

[RinkChat] User Goosey has been labeled 'fishy said "pag=pagan?"' by Goosey.

* ThePhan REFRESHES THE PAGAN

Goosey: LOL LOL

[RinkChat] User Goosey has been labeled 'LOL LOL' by Goosey.

* ThePhan kind of is attempting to refresh pagans in the play... Ish...

[RinkChat] User Sentynel has been labeled 'feeding pagans lemonade' by Sentynel.

[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'The pagan sighs and smiles, feeling refreshed and energised' by goldfishy.

.

.

.

[RinkChat] User Maryam has been labeled 'IAlmostAuditionedForThatPlayOnce' by Maryam.

ThePhan: Maryam: Was it in Huntington? You should have. :-P

[RinkChat] User Maryam has been labeled 'In my high school in NJ.' by Maryam.

ThePhan: Maryam: Oh. Then it matters.

(Quick note - that was a typo. I MEANT "It didn't matter that you didn't audition." But I wrote that instead for some reason.)

[RinkChat] User Maryam has been labeled 'Wait, what matters?' by Maryam.

ThePhan: ...Did I say something matters?

ThePhan: LOL I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT I SAID BEFORE

[RinkChat] User Maryam has been labeled '"Ph: Oh. Then it matters"' by Maryam.

ThePhan: This is all very stream-of-consciousness because I can't actually remember what I was talking about.

ThePhan: Maryam: ....Hmm. LOL. I'm trying to think what I was responding to or thinking about. It might have been a typo.

[RinkChat] User Maryam has been labeled 'Heh, k.' by Maryam.

ThePhan: When I read the transcript back later, I can tell you what mattered.

Fireman's Lift

Randy: My older brother used to hang me up by my ankles.

Randy: And steal my baseball caps

goldfishy: Ah yeah being picked up - I didn't like it when he got big enough and strong enough to do that

goldfishy: Used to get me in a firemans lift which meant I would scream until he put me down - unfortunately I think he was after the screams rather than it putting him off

ThePhan: LOL, I read "firemans lift" and at first all I could think was that he pushed you into an elevator at a fire station.

goldfishy: Hahahahaha!

goldfishy: NOOOOOOOOO DON'T PUT ME IN THE ELEVATOR! I HAVE CLAUSTROPHOOOOOOOOOBIAAAAAAAA!

Self-Cannibalism

* ThePhan eats Daria and watches microwaved meatball lasagna.

ThePhan: Er. Switch those verbs around.

goldfishy: I think it would be more fun the other way round

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: I'm pretty sure since I AM Daria, that means I'm gnawing on myself as I stare at my actual food.

Maryam: LOL

goldfishy: I had a weird image in my head of you as a cave woman - not sure what to do with a microwave meal, sitting looking at it and saying "Phan hungry, Phan eat arm!" and proceeding to chew on your forearm, still staring at the bewildering microwave meal that is making you hungry

Goosey: LOL

goldfishy: My imagination is a bit scary

ThePhan: LOL LOL

ThePhan: I was picturing me as a zombie at the dinner table.

ThePhan: Lasagna is ladled onto my plate and I reject it and start consuming my own flesh instead while the nice suburban family just stares at my in horror.

Maryam: Meatball lasagna sounds really good right now.

Goosey: LOL ew

goldfishy: SO the moral of the story is: Don't invite Phan for dinner

goldfishy: Whatever she does it won't be good

LaZorra: Maryam: Given the preceding conversation, all I can do is laugh at that.

Maryam: Well, obviously not the rest of it.

Maryam: :-P

ThePhan: Maryam makes the right choice in choosing meatball lasagna over self-cannibalism.

goldfishy: You didn't want to chew on Phan's arm?

Randy: Now I want a meatball sub.

Inconceivabeiber

LaZorra: I've told people that God has told me He wants me to pout my energy into my career, not into raising a family. Somehow that's just inconceivalbielb.

* LaZorra pouts her energy in the corner.

LaZorra: EXACTLY.

ThePhan: I do not think that word is spelled the way you think it's spelled.

ThePhan: That was an attempt at a Princess Bride joke, but it kind of failed.

LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL

LaZorra: I got the joke right away, and was all, "How did I misspell inconceivable? I did not misspell inconceivable! ...oh."

ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: YOU DIDN'T REALIZE YOU'D MISSPELLED IT?

LaZorra: :-.

LaZorra: 8-.

ThePhan: You wrote something that looked like "inconceivablejustinbeiber" and you didn't realize you misspelled it?

ThePhan: That is awesome.

[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'inconceivablejustinbeiber' by LaZorra.

LaZorra: INCONCEIVABEIBER

LaZorra: I wonder if you can cause Justin Beiber to cease to exist by inconceivabeibering him.

ThePhan: It sounds like a Harry Potter spell.

ThePhan: Inconceivalbielbo! *waves wand*

ThePhan: Although now it looks like it says Bilbo at the end.

LaZorra: BEIBER BILBO

LaZorra: MOST HORRIFIC SLASHFIC EVAR

ThePhan: OH SHEESH

ThePhan: That is terrifying.

* ThePhan is now singing "Bilbo, Bilbo, Bilbo, oh" to the tune of "Baby."

* LaZorra can hardly type for laughing.

* LaZorra can hardly type hormally, apparently.

LaZorra: *normally, gah!

ThePhan: Incidentally, replacing "baby" with "Bilbo" in love songs makes them TEN TIMES AWESOMER.

* LaZorra types hormonally.

LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: "Boy, you know you can't escape me, no, darling, 'cause you'll always be my Bilbo."

LaZorra: LOL

ThePhan: Also: "Ice Ice Bilbo."

LaZorra: *dies*

LaZorra: In a related vein, I am not picturing the confrontation between Bilbo and Gandalf after the birthday party to include the angry line, "Nobody puts Bilbo in a corner!" when Gandalf tries to take the ring.

ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: You are not, huh?

LaZorra: er

LaZorra: *now

LaZorra: I AM MOST DEFINITELY NOT PICTURING WHAT I JUST DESCRIBED

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: YOUR EMPHATIC DENIAL IS SUSPECT

Cabbage Statue = Love

ThePhan: LOL, so only guys have liked my Guys & Dolls status so far.

ThePhan: It makes me look like a dude magnet.

ThePhan: Four different guys from my school rush to like my status moments after it is posted.

LaZorra: LOL

LaZorra: You're just a hot theatre chick.

ThePhan: Apparently.

ThePhan: Whoo me!

ThePhan: Or, "Woo me."

ThePhan: HA HA HA HA HA

ThePhan: Obviously the guys love me for my sense of humor.

ThePhan: LOL, so one of the girls in the department was telling everyone her favorite joke today.

ThePhan: It went thus:

ThePhan: (Holding out her hand) "What's green, round, and in my hand? THIS INVISIBLE CABBAGE I'M HOLDING!"

ThePhan: And then she would start laughing hysterically.

ThePhan: She thought it was the funniest thing ever.

ThePhan: About the third time she told it, one of the other girls says, "This is why we have that reputation, that girls can't be funny."

LaZorra: ...

LaZorra: LOL

LaZorra: That sound like something I would have done at age 6.

ThePhan: LOL, exactly.

LaZorra: No wonder the guys love you, haha.

ThePhan: LOL LOL

ThePhan: All you have to do to get a man's love is not tell invisible cabbage jokes.

ThePhan: It's so simple, why don't girls do this more often?

LaZorra: TOPICBOT

LaZorra: Instead, you should make him something with cabbage.

LaZorra: Way to a man's heart being through his stomach and all.

LaZorra: cabbage jokes = life of loneliness and despair.

ThePhan: You probably meant food, but my first instinct was a collage.

LaZorra: coleslaw = marriage and happiness forever

LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL

LaZorra: "I made you a replica of Michelangelo's Dave out of cabbage leaves."

LaZorra: Er, *David

ThePhan: LOL

LaZorra: Gah, now I have mental images of Dave carved out of white marble.

ThePhan: Michelangelo did a statue of Dave?

* LaZorra is giggling uncontrollably.

ThePhan: LOL LOL

ThePhan: I am not at all sure that I should present future crushes with cabbage-based statues of Dave.

LaZorra: Appropriately, iTunes just decided to play a song that has the chorus, "I might be a little bit loco, but it keeps me from losing my mind."

LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: Ha! So very true, this.

LaZorra: Who wouldn't want a cabbage-based statue of Dave?

LaZorra: Every home needs one.

ThePhan: The question is, do you eventually eat it?

LaZorra: Yes. And you discover, to your surprise, that it is actually filled with corn.

ThePhan: LOL LOL

ThePhan: It's like the Princess and the Pea.

ThePhan: Only the true love of your life will sense the corn inside and search for it.

LaZorra: That is the worst love story ever, LOL LOL.

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: It so is.

ThePhan: "So how did you guys get together?"

ThePhan: "Well, I liked him, so I made a cabbage statue of a dude I kind of knew from the Internet and filled it with corn. Then I gave it to him, and he found the corn, and then we got married."

ThePhan: "..."

* LaZorra dies.

LaZorra: You should have children just so you can tell them screwed up bedtime stories like this.

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: It would be so much more fun to screw up my siblings' children without telling their parents.

ThePhan: Then they'd grow up with all sorts of weird ideas and my siblings would never know where they came from.

LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL

LaZorra: WIN

LaZorra: Yet again, being the coolest aunt ever > raising your own children

Missing Fingers

goldfishy: I hate cutting balsa with a stanley knife - frankly, I'm dangerous

goldfishy: Not to mention I have a habit of screwing up and going wonky despite the steel ruler

Randy: I did that when I attempted a ship in a bottle...it..we don't talk about it.

goldfishy: Do you still have 10 fingers?

Randy: 9 1/4

Randy: (kidding)

goldfishy: Oooh - I was wondering what it would look like and if you'd let me poke it if I met you sometime

The Skateboard-and-Purse RinkShip

(I was in tech rehearsal for Guys & Dolls.)

ThePhan: Three, maybe four more hours of tech.

ThePhan: We're getting there!

LaZorra: THERE ARE ONLY THREE HOURS OF TECH LEFT?!

* LaZorra breaks down and cries.

LaZorra: But...there's so much potential, and I'm...I'm so young...a whole career ruined...

LaZorra: CIVILIZATION NEEDS TECH

TalkingDog: Huhwha?

LaZorra: WE CAN FIGHT AIDS

LaZorra: WE CAN LIVE ON MARS

* TalkingDog HUGS LaZ but he is not sure why!

LaZorra: But not if tech only has three hours left!

LaZorra: TD: LOL, I'm being ridiculous.

LaZorra: I haven't had coffee today, and it's showing. :-.

TalkingDog: Ohh, good. I was worried!

.

.

.

ThePhan: LOL, I just came back to the window to find I've destroyed LZ.

ThePhan: Time to clarify.

ThePhan: Only 3-4 hours left for Guys and Dolls tech day.

ThePhan: Technology will be sticking around awhile.

Sentynel: Phan: IT'S TOO LATE, SHE'S ALREADY STARTED THE DESTRUCTION OF TECHNOLOGY

* Sentynel is attempting to speed-read the entire internet in three hours.

LaZorra: TOPICBOT

LaZorra: OH WAIT TOPICBOT WILL NOT EXIST IN A FEW HOURS

LaZorra: I WILL MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH

ThePhan: We need to make that Rinkie commune NOW.

ThePhan: Decide where we're going to meet, and start walking.

Sentynel: Dude, if technology ends, I will have nothing better to do than build ye olde wooden boat and sail the Atlantic to go hang out with you.

LaZorra: IN CASE OF APOCALYPSE, HEAD TO THE RINKIE COMMUNE

ThePhan: I was thinking the same thing. With no tech, most Rinkies probably have nothing to lose by moving to the commune.

Sentynel: YES

TalkingDog: Make it a pirate ship, and I'll join your crew.

LaZorra: Sent: Your awesomeness just blew off the charts.

ThePhan: Most people's jobs will be eliminated.

LaZorra: If you need a navigator who can't tell left from right, I'm your girl.

Sentynel: LaZ: I ain't kidding, either.

Sentynel: LOL

Sentynel: I don't care about left and right, but if you can tell your port from your starboard, you're hired.

LaZorra: I know you aren't, which is why you're amazing!

TalkingDog: "No, the other port!"

LaZorra: DONE

* ThePhan thought that said "if you can tell your purse from your skateboard."

LaZorra: "You mean Barbados?"

LaZorra: LOL

LaZorra: I confuse my purse and my skateboard ALL THE TIME.

TalkingDog: I dreamt about skateboards last night. I was trying to flap them like wings and take off. It didn't work.

LaZorra: I'll just be standing there on the sidewalk, wondering why I'm not going anywhere, and then realize it's because I'm standing on my purse instead of my skateboard.

Sentynel: My ship will have a purse on one side and a skateboard on the other, and only people who get the joke will be allowed on board.

LaZorra: Or I'll get to the register at Starbucks and realize I have no cash because my wallet's in my purse, and I've got my skateboard under my arm.

iwpg: LOL

LaZorra: Sent: LOL!

ThePhan: Sent: LOL LOL

ThePhan: Allowed on skateboard?

* ThePhan has a mental image of a bunch of Rinkies desperately clinging to the skateboard on the side of the ship.

iwpg: Obviously the purse should be on the starboard side and the skateboard should be on the port.

* TalkingDog pictures other sailors seeing the purse and skateboard and adopting them as a new superstition until all boats everywhere have them.

Sentynel: This is gonna be the best apocalypse EVER.

Sentynel: Sailing the RinkShip around the world.

* TalkingDog tries to think what he'd name a ship if he had one.

.

.

.

ThePhan: DONE WITH TECH

* TalkingDog sighs and becomes a farmer.

ThePhan: LOL LOL

* ThePhan knows those jokes were all made earlier, but she still finds it hilarious.

Weird Punctuation

ThePhan: Heh'

Goosey: Hehehe.

ThePhan: You can make that apostrophe mean any punctuation mark you want.

* Sentynel makes it an interrobang, the coolest punctuation mark ever.

Sam: I'll make it a dog with a dress on.

Sam: You're weird, Phan.

Exes, Butter, and Murder

* Goosey wonders what it would be like to deal with an ex on FB...

EOLLen: I'm no good with grudges. (even though he dumped me randomly, during a difficult stressful month, after a year and a half of dating.)

* EOLLen isn't bitter, though, she swears!

Goosey: LOL

Goosey: Bitter can last awhile, but you won't move on until you get over it and forgive him. Experience.

Sentynel: Goosey: I read that as "butter". I was wondering why you were digressing to the preservation of dairy products...

Goosey: LOL LOL

ThePhan: Sent: LOL

goldfishy: FORGIVE THE BUTTER! IT IS THE ONLY WAY!

.

.

.

Sentynel: Also, two years after I stopped using Windows more than occasionally, I STILL read "exes" as "executable files".

Sentynel: Er, I'm not suggesting murder of your exes, either.

ThePhan: LOL

goldfishy: Or that you run them under Windows - that's just cruel

Randy: LOL LOL

ThePhan: That will be my defense if I ever kill an ex.

ThePhan: "But Sentynel said they were executable!"

Samantha's Job Application

Sam: So, I have a job offer that I'm going to accept tomorrow.

Sam: Unfortunately, it's not at this company: http://www.fashionplaytes.com/ which is sort of a girly version of Cafepress where you can design your own clothes and order them.

Sam: Doesn't that web site scream SAM?

Sam: In retrospect, I should have put my extensive dollz experience on my resume before applying.

Randy: LOL LOL

Sam: I applied there, but they never got back to me.

goldfishy: thatz coz u totally seemd lik a boi

Sam: Rats.

Sam: I should have had Samantha apply on my behalf.

goldfishy: u shud hav usd ur full name Samatha

Randy: goldy wins!

Sam: "WORK EXPERIENCE - I have extensive experience doing a man's job but as a woman, which is what I am. EDUCATION - Master's degree at the University of New Hampshire, where I resided in an all-girls dorm, on account of that's what my gender is."

goldfishy: You need more hearts in there

Sam: ♥♥♥♥

goldfishy: Oh and add pillow fights to your hobbies section thing

goldfishy: Interests

Sam: OUTSIDE INTERESTS - Pillow fights, makeup, never leaving home without a hairbrush, wearing bras, baking cookies in an empowered kind of way.

Leamydoody

(I came in halfway through this conversation - they were apparently looking up Irish towns on a map?)

Ticia: Oh, Ratass!

Ticia: I was wondering why you wouldn't just SAY it.

Goosey: LOL

Ticia: Look. Dingle Road is just south of it.

Ticia: South of Bellyvelly.

* Ticia dies laughing.

Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

Ticia: I think we just discovered a great idea for a new game. "Find the funniest Irish town name"

Ticia: I like Dromthacker

Goosey: LOL

Goosey: I found Frogroe!

Goosey: *Frogmore

Ticia: Hehe

Ticia: Leamydoody!

Goosey: LOL

Goosey: Ballymacandy!

Goosey: GROIN

Ticia: "I'm just gonna drive on Dingle road up to Bellyvelly!"

Ticia: What? WHERE?

Goosey: http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&...spn=0.053158,0.072956&t=h&z=13

Ticia: LOL

Ticia: I think all the cute has officially beensucked out of chat.

Goosey: LOL

Ticia: "So, where do you live?" "Oh, I grew up in Groin, but now I live in Leamydoody."

Romanian Comedies

ThePhan: She's also my movie-watching buddy who is interested in artsier films. Which rules.

ThePhan: And by artsier, I mean not-just-rom-com-or-horror-movies.

ThePhan: Heh

LaZorra: Romanian comedies are quite the drag indeed.

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: Stupid Romanians.

Randy: LOL LOL

LaZorra: It's all, oh, haha, the elephant stole your tambourine!

The Tramp

Ticia: My Uncle, who is not really my Uncle, but my Dad's cousin, used to have a sugar beet farm up there.

Goosey: Oh nice :)

Ticia: We'd go and spend the summer riding horses and jumping on the tramp.

Ticia: And by tramp I mean trampoline, not homeless person.

Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

Nyperold: Poor Charlie Chapin.

Sentynel: THAT POOR MAN

Pee Peep

LaZorra: HI PEEPS

LaZorra: pee peep

LaZorra: er

Randy: LOL LOL

LaZorra: those would be the yellow ones

Startling My Neighbor

ThePhan: So my sister accidentally posted a status to Facebook that she meant to send as a text: "How can I startle my neighbor?"

ThePhan: I responded with this:

ThePhan: There once was a man who was traveling and was attacked by robbers and left beaten in the road. A Levite came by, saw him, and passed by. A priest came by, saw him, and passed by. But then a Samaritan came by, saw the man, and crept up behind him and yelled, "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAHHHHHHHHH!" Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by the robbers? The one who startled him. Now go and do likewise.

Weather

Randy: WIND BLOWING

Randy: AND RAIN

TalkingDog: In my head, you are like a person who has never seen weather. It is funny.

Tough Kids

Ticia: Heh. I'm reading an article about rear facing carseats, and one commenter says, basically, that it's bad to have kid's rear facing for longer than one year because it doesn't prepare them for "the real world" and then he compares it to not letting kids touch germs. Bwah?

wintermute: ?

Sentynel: I, er, what?

Ticia: Yeah, I don't get it either.

Sentynel: Yes. A good way of making kids tough is seeing how well they survive a car crash with unsuitable protective measures.

Ticia: And a one year old getting in a car accident and having severe spinal injuries because they're forward facing will make them tough, I guess?

Sentynel: ONLY THE TOUGHEST KIDS SURVIVE A CAR CRASH AT 40MPH. HOW DOES YOURS DO?

Ticia: LOL

wintermute: This is why we keep all our kitchen knives in Lily's crib.

Dead Goldfishy

Goosey: Dahaha. My sis just posted a pic of her son stomping on a pile of goldfish crackers in the kitchen. LOL.

LaZorra: Goosey: The best goldfishy are DEAD ONES.

LaZorra: er. Um. *-y

Ticia: LOL

* LaZorra does not advocate stomping goldfishy to death.

Goosey: LOL

* Ticia shall be sure to warn goldfishy next time she sees her.

Fri-ee-day, Fri-ee-day

ThePhan: I'm just happy that the "Friday" jokes have mostly run their course.

Goosey: Huh?

ThePhan: Goosey: To me or Sent?

Goosey: LOL to the Friday jokes. What Friday jokes?

ThePhan: The Rebecca Black ones.

Goosey: Oh. Haven't heard any. Haven't heard the song either.

ThePhan: You are... missing out?

Goosey: LOL

Goosey: I doubt it.

ThePhan: Here. Be caught up on viralness.

ThePhan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0

ThePhan: Rebecca Black Friday jokes were all the rage last week.

Sentynel: Spare yourself, don't click.

ThePhan: If you don't click, I will make Friday jokes ALL DAY and you will feel left out.

Goosey: Ack. The pain . . . .

Goosey: Do I have to listen to the whole thing?

ThePhan: Nope.

Goosey: THANK YOU

ThePhan: First verse and chorus are enough to give you the general ide.

ThePhan: *idea

ThePhan: Although the bridge has some wonderful lyrics.

ThePhan: "Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. Today i-is Friday, Friday. [Some random lines here] Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards."

Sam: Ok, I clicked on that link, but are you sure that isn't the literal video version?

Sam: Where's the original?

Capslog

goldfishy: A fool of what fan said

goldfishy: *PHAN!

ThePhan: I am no ordinary fan. I am a PHAN!

* LaZorra PICTURES PHAN WHIRLING HER ARMS AROUND MADLY WHILE BOOMING, "I AM NO ORDINARY FAN!"

ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL

Randy: LOL LOL

LaZorra: Er. Also apparently I accidentally turned capslog on.

ThePhan: Yes, log those caps.

ThePhan: Don't want to lose track of them.

ThePhan: Also, I am going to make all my real-life entrances like that now.

ThePhan: Whirling and booming, not logging caps.

LaZorra: Capslog, startdate 31.4.58: A strange, typo-ridden planet has appeared on our instruments. Spock advises further inspection and a dictionary.

Sleep Talkin' Roomie

ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: Roomie just rattled off a WHOLE bunch of nonsense.

Goosey: LOL What did she say?

Goosey: In her sleep, I assume?

Goosey: (Also: "gismecup")

ThePhan: I'm not sure at all what she said in the first bit - it was mostly gibberish - but she followed it up with, "Yeah, I can see you chirping through the tongs, Mama Zommy!"

ThePhan: WHAT is she dreaming about?

Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: That is getting Facebooked RIGHT now.

LaZorra: o.o

LaZorra: LOL

Goosey: Hahahah

ThePhan: Just rereading that phrase makes me laugh again.

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: Are you sure it wasn't...Mama Zombie??

ThePhan: It might have been, but it sounded distinctly Italian.

ThePhan: "Mamasami," maybe. Although that looks Japanese.

ThePhan: Uh. Roomie might have just said, "Yup, the Smurfs were cute, though."

ThePhan: But "Smurfs" was muffled. It could have easily been "Snups."

ThePhan: LOL LOL

ThePhan: Roomie: "Well, I guess we just have to take it back. I'm fine with that, but I'M not gonna be the one to take it back."

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: She is chatty tonight.

ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: Roomie: "THE BOOMFA BEANS!"

ThePhan: Maybe that's what she had to take back. But she didn't, and now they're attacking.

Goosey: BOOMFA BEANS

LaZorra: ohmy

LaZorra: Most beans do have a boomfa effect, yes.

ThePhan: LOL LOL

ThePhan: "Gotta get alligators with tissue hide! Patootie! Water supply! Turtles!"

ThePhan: She has lost it.

Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

* LaZorra is cracking up.

ThePhan: I'm so showing this to her tomorrow.

Ugly Guys

About the pictures assigned to us at the end of HoN...

Kalimeris: Oh great.

Kalimeris: I AM WEIRD SMILE MAN

Sam: GOOSEY GROSS GROSS GROSSEY

Sam: GROOSEY

Goosey: Why am I muscly belly dancing guy??? *cries*

* Goosey siiiiighs.

Sam: ...In fact, most of you are freaking ugly guys.

ThePhan: Sam: The truth of the Internet.

FACE

ScatterBot: Name a celestial object that starts with H.

ThePhan: HANNAH

ThePhan: Because I am a star.

Randy: LOL~

LaZorra: LOL

LaZorra: FACE

LaZorra: er, FACT

Randy: LOL LOL

* Randy HUGS LaZOrra!

Sam: FACE

goldfishy: LOL LOL IN YOUR FACE

Goosey: TP LAZ WAS LAUGHING AT YOUR FACE

ThePhan: LZ: LOLFACE to you too!

BlitzBot and Camou-Fairy

QuoteBot: Question: Who said this? _______: The user list looks so lonely without camou-fairy. (1) BlitzBot, (2) ThePhan, (3) Ticia, (4) Rafael, (5) Sam, (6) WhizHal.

ThePhan: Hardest BlitzBot question ever.

LaZorra's Catchphrase

QuoteBot: Question: Who said this? _______: *music_Luver14 gives a very evil, mean lookin glare in Gahalyn's direction* (1) Sara, (2) LaZorra, (3) Mousie, (4) music_luver14, (5) flyingcats, (6) Scruffy.

ThePhan: Man, remember when LaZorra used to say that ALL THE TIME?

ThePhan: It got really old after awhile.

Sam: Yeah, it got kind of annoying, frankly.

LaZorra the Cheerleader

[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to '* LaZorra's secret cheerleading obsession is now out in the open.' by TopicBot.

Sam: I have a LaZorra cheerleading story.

Sam: One time I was sorting my Firefox bookmarks, and LaZorra dressed up in a two-color outfit and waved pompoms at me.

Sam: Then there was the time at the Colorado RinkUnion when I was paying for the hotel room, and while I was at the counter, she was bouncing around behind me going, "P! A! Y! Payyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy the chick!"

wintermute: Are you sure that wasn't a dream?

LaZorra: Sam: I think you have me confused with Randy.

LaZorra: Or possibly Dave.

Getting to Sleep

geneva: ugh I have 16 lesson plans to write when I get home

* geneva bangs her head against the keyboard repeatedly

geneva: if that can be done fast enough, I may get some kind of sleep tonight

ThePhan: For a minute I thought you meant you could get sleep if you banged your head against the keyboard fast enough.

ThePhan: Which is possibly true, but NOT the best way to go about it.

Microwave

iwpg: Raaaaaaaaaargh.

iwpg: My microwave has apparently decided not to work. :-(

LaZorra: Hey Sam, can iwpg use your microwave?

* LaZorra makes very vague references to extremely old jokes.

(That extremely old joke is still one of my very favorite things ever.)

The Immortal Fish

ThePhan: I did have a fish that I never fed.

Ticia: Did it died?

ThePhan: It died when my mom tried to rescue it from me.

ThePhan: It lived for like 2 1/2 years, turned white (it was originally a goldfish)...

ThePhan: My mom finally decided we had to get rid of it because I never fed it or cleaned its tank. I'm not sure how it survived.

ThePhan: So we went to give it away to friends before we went off on vacation.

LaZorra: Probably it was eating the stuff you didn't clean off its tank, LOL.

ThePhan: Our friends were not awake when we left on vacation, so we put the fish bag in their enclosed porch.

ThePhan: Except this was North Dakota, and it got much colder out of nowhere, and the fish froze to death.

ThePhan: Moral of the story: If your immortal fish is content with no food, DON'T TRY TO FIX IT.

New Ork Times

LaZorra: My brother is in NY. He just texted me: "i walked by the new ork times last nigh"

Goosey: ???

LaZorra: Typoing runs in the family, apparently.

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: Also, I now want to work at the New Orc Times.

LaZorra: I hope I get a corner office in the White Tower.

Goosey: I bet Grish has a cousin works there, could put in a good word for you.

Ticia: LOL

LaZorra: LOL

LaZorra: I hear Saruman's a tough editor, though.

Sentynel: And they give all the good jobs to the uruk-hai.

Ticia: You are all dorks.

LaZorra: That's where I should REALLY work. The New Dork Times.

WASKARD

LaZorra: WASKARD FACEBOOK GUY IS AWKSARD

Goosey: WASKARD

LaZorra: or, um...

ThePhan: You WASKARD!

LaZorra: WASKARDDY WABBIT

iwpg: WASKALLY WASKARD

Goosey: AWKSARDY WASKARD

Goosey: Dahaha we are all awesome.

Modern Ghost Stories

ThePhan: I kept getting notifications that my school email inbox was almost full. And I'd delete the few emails I had and be like, "WHY do I have so little space? Are the emails I'm keeping bigger than normal?"

ThePhan: Well, it may help that I've just deleted all the messages I've ever sent from this email.

ThePhan: About 14-15 pages worth.

Sentynel: My high school used to send so many mailbox size warning emails it'd fill it up and lock you out.

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: Fail.

Sentynel: Yes.

ThePhan: My first year here, I kept hearing about people who never checked their emails and it filled up and nobody could reach them.

Sentynel: That's the best modern analogue to ghost stories ever.

Sentynel: I heard about a guy who didn't check his emails for so long, he got locked out of his mailbox and couldn't do anything about it!

ThePhan: Hehehe

ThePhan: Terrifying late-night stories told to people gathered around a flickering computer screen.

Sentynel: Exactly!

Sentynel: I once heard about a man who had to use Windows ME! *gasps of horror*

Hipster Henry

ThePhan: So this morning, when I hadn't slept and went to class anyway... my notes from that class are hilarious.

ThePhan: I wasn't incoherent, just silly.

ThePhan: We were discussing whether Shakespeare's portrayal of Henry V was as a good king, a bad king, or sort of an ironic interpretation.

ThePhan: I wrote, "Or is it... IRONIC! dun dun dun."

ThePhan: ...There's no "dun dun dun" about it. I don't know why I thought that was so dramatic.

goldfishy: hehehe nice

goldfishy: You should write all your notes like that

Sentynel: Hipster King Henry V?

Sentynel: Oh, I rule a place called England. You probably haven't heard of it.

ALL the Potatoes

bobbery5: We had a Vegan on a field trip last year, she took all the potatoes off the buffet, because they were the only things she could eat, we were all mad at her.

bobbery5: But, then we forgave her.

Gahalyn: Uhgf, if I was her I'd be mad at you all for being mad at me.

ThePhan: ALL the potatoes?

Ticia: How does someone eat ALL the potatoes.

* ThePhan pictures someone sitting at a table with six plates of potatoes piled around her.

Ticia: ?

Ticia: LOL

ThePhan: "I'M ALLOWED TO! I'M A VEGAN!"

bobbery5: ALL of the potatoes. EVER. She's still there, eating the potatoes.

Gahalyn: The same way they clean ALL the things!

ThePhan: Gaha: LOL LOL, now I'm picturing this girl sitting there with three or four plates of potatoes still to go, with the Hyperbole & a Half girl's sad expression: "Eat ALL the potatoes?"

Old Harrison Ford

ThePhan: Jason Robert Brown (the composer of that song I want to sing) is asking for babysitter recommendations while he and his family are in DC.

ThePhan: LAZORRA GO BACK TO DC NOW AND BABYSIT FOR JASON ROBERT BROWN'S KIDS SO YOU WILL HAVE A CONNECTION TO HIM AND I CAN MEET HIM

Goosey: LOL LOL

LaZorra: TP: I WILL GO STALK HIM FOR YOU

ThePhan: LZ: YES PLEASE

ThePhan: And when I am a famous theatrical director I will offer Harrison Ford a minor role in some show so I can stalk him for you. Although he will probably be like 95 by that point.

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: HE WILL STILL BE HOTTER THAN 95% OF MOST MEN

LaZorra: Er, most OTHER men.

Goosey: *something clever about Harrison Ford and LAZorra and a walker*

ThePhan: LOL

LaZorra: LOL

ThePhan: "You are hotter than 95% of this other guy."

LaZorra: LOL

LaZorra: "If I chop off a couple of his fingers, that's how hot you are."

ThePhan: LaZorra, on opening night of my show: "I LOVE YOU, HARRISON FORD!" *throws panties to the poor very confused elderly man*

Optimism Bubbles

* TalkingDog is out of optimism bubbles.

TalkingDog: That must be what they put inside bubble wrap.

Goosey: TD: YES

Goosey: You can't pop bubble wrap and STAY in a comopletely rotten mood.

LaZorra: So...any time the Hulk wants to turn back into Bill Bixby, he pops bubble wrap?

LaZorra: "HULK SMASH oh haha*pop*pop*pop*"

RinkQuotes Blog

(That's a very meta entry title. Anyway.)

Sentynel: My busiest feed is the BBC News front page, averaging 133.6 items a day.

Sentynel: Followed by the Guardian at 48.1.

ThePhan: Eesh.

ThePhan: My busiest one is Epic Win FTW which is 25.2.

ThePhan: Ha, my only RinkQuotes blog is the 19th most frequently updated.

ThePhan: Er.

ThePhan: My own.

ThePhan: Although it is indeed my only RinkQuotes blog.

Randy: LOL

wintermute: I was thinking it was the 19th most frequently updated blog. Which would be impressive.

ThePhan: OF ALL TIME

wintermute: And that's counting all of Twitter as one blog.

ThePhan: I post everything you guys say, line by line. 3000 times in a row.

Nerds Know How To Rock

LaZorra: RAFFI IS BEST WHEN BLASTED FROM YOUR LIFTED TRUCK'S BADASS SPEAKERS

LaZorra: BABY BELUGA *thud* *thud* *thud*

Randy: LOL LOL

TalkingDog: One time, we drove around in my brother's car blasting overly dramatic cinematic type music.

TalkingDog: With and without Latin chanting.

Goosey: TD: LOL

LaZorra: TD: LOL!

TalkingDog: Nerds know how to rock.

Doesn't Need Rats

geneva: oh I have no idea where my cowboy hat went to.....rats!

goldfishy: Quite honestly, a lot of the time I hate cropping photos because I am so incredibly indecisive I have no idea what to do but I usually get there in the end. This time it just feels right and I look at it and it just seems soooooooo much better and it's ridiculous because it's not an important photo and it doesn't need rats

goldfishy: I can't read and type at the same time...

goldfishy: *and it doesn't need cropped

Dear Shakespeare

ThePhan: Dear Shakespeare: HENRY V IS SO BORING. Love, AnnoyedPhan

Sentynel: Dear Phan: I'm dead, I can't get your messages. Love, Shakespeare.

Randy: Dear Sentynel: Dude, you just got possessed by the spirit of Shakespeare! Shocked, Randy.

Violent Upside-Down Planters

ThePhan: HOLY COW I CANNOT READ

ThePhan: I'm looking at old chat transcripts to update the quote blog.

ThePhan: Maryam said, "I wonder if those indoor upside-down planters really work." Goosey responded, "My cousin tried one on her porch once, worked okay for her."

ThePhan: As I glanced through, I thought "worked okay for her" said "punched in her face."

ThePhan: I have no idea why.

ThePhan: Nothing surrounding the conversation has anything like that.

* TalkingDog scratches his head.

* ThePhan is a little worried about reading Henry V for Monday in this condition...

iwpg: LOL LOL LOL

iwpg: I think that gives you at least one new entry.

ThePhan: No kidding.

ThePhan: I would not use an upside-down planter if it punched me in the face.

Science Fiction Documentaries

ThePhan: I went to go look up my school's movie club to see what they were playing tomorrow night when I get back.

ThePhan: The schedule's up-to-date, but the spiel on the page is WAY old. It says they're showing documentaries on Thursday nights and feature films on Sundays, which they haven't done in several years.

ThePhan: This means that, according to the schedule, Soylent Green and Logan's Run are documentaries.

Goosey: LOL!!

Sentynel: Soylent Green's not a documentary?

Nyperold: "And here we see the rare and elusive wild Peter Ustinov, living in his natural habitat, the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C.."

Twilight Is Gritty

ThePhan: Little Red Riding Hood is a "girl falls in love with a werewolf" gritty reboot. Life As We Know It is about, I believe, Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl suddenly having to take care of a baby.

ThePhan: And by "gritty," I mean gritty in the sense that Twilight is gritty.

Maryam: ... Twilight is gritty?

Sentynel: The grit sparkles, then?

Goosey: You grit your teeth the whole way through, yes.

Slushee Casserole

* Ticia has a slushee and burrito casserole.

Ticia: Mmmmm

Goosey: That sounds like an odd casserole . . .

Goosey: Also gross.

Ticia: It's yummy.

Goosey: Oh. You mean you have a slushee, AND you have a burrito casserole. Two seperate things.

Goosey: *separate

* TalkingDog read them together too.

Ticia: Corn tortillas, refried beans, cheese, stacked in a casserole dish. Sliced olives and chopped tomatos on top.

Ticia: LOL

Ticia: Then you dump the slushee on top and cook for 30 minutes at 365

Silly String

goldfishy: I wonder if you say a critical amount of ridiculous words if you just like exceed all ridiculous limits and just dissolve into silly string

goldfishy: Wait, do Americans call silly string silly string?

Randy: Yes

goldfishy: Ha! Yes, yes you do

goldfishy: That's handy

goldfishy: You lot can be terribly awkward you know

wintermute: They call it foolish thread.

Fold Unmarried Frogs

* Goosey has potato chips and a banana for dinner.

Ticia: Mmmm

* Goosey is Fould Bachelor Frog.

Goosey: *Foul

* Sentynel folds unmarried frogs

Randy: Sent: That sounds like a whizkid line

Sentynel: Randy: I'm secretly WhizKid.

Ticia: wk: You are strange.

Sentynel: Ticia: How rude!

Sentynel: I mean, er..

Sentynel: Ticia: Shout a thousand horses?

Sibling Arguing

ThePhan: My latest very ridiculous fact I'm trying to convince my sister of: that her face falls off while she sleeps and someone from the family goes in and pins it back onto her head before she wakes up.

Randy: LOL

ThePhan: Now that she's 20, she really believes very little of what I tell her. But I have no doubt that when she was six, she would have believed me.

ThePhan: Heh.

ThePhan: But it's fun watching her try to disprove it.

Ticia: LOL

Ticia: That she even tries to disprove it is cracking me up

ThePhan: She keeps interrogating me about the process, thinking she'll catch me off guard.

ThePhan: But, nope. She now knows about the process of buying flesh-colored headpins to pin her face back on.

Ticia: LOL

Ticia: I love your family.