Marriage Is Work

ThePhan: Heh. One of my friends is, I think, really concerned that I don't understand how much work marriage is or something. She keeps telling me and I keep being like, "Yeah, but we'll be good," and she's like, "No, it's really difficult sometimes," and I'm like, "I know," and she's like, "You'll have to work really hard to make it work," and I'm like, "I THINK WE WILL BE OKAY."
ThePhan: People spouting marriage advice at me is weird. People freaking out that I'm not taking them seriously is weirder.
Randy: Maybe she should learn when to stop? hehe
ThePhan: I think she's just concerned because I suspect *she* went into her marriage not expecting work, and so she's trying to make sure I avoid that.
Ticia: Maybe she is expecting you to come to your senses and call off the wedding? "Oh, you are right, I hadn't thought about how much WORK it would be before I said yes! I shall renounce my marriage and move to a nunnery right away!"
Randy: GET THEE TO A NUNNERY
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: But even the kinds of stuff she's telling me we need to do is totally different, because she is nothing like either me or Jacob. She's super high-maintenance, and she's very different from her husband.
ThePhan: So her advice is things like, "I bet you guys have trouble communicating because you just don't understand each other," and that's really not the case.
Sentynel: CANCEL ALL RELATIONSHIPS IMMEDIATELY
Sentynel: TURNS OUT PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED
Ticia: Hah!
ThePhan: LOL
Maryam: LOL
Sam: Phan: People are really weird. My advice is to just be polite and smile and nod and also to remember that marriage is work, like, I mean, you really have to work at it a lot all the time and it's hard work too.
ThePhan: Or, "Sometimes you're going to have to learn to leave each other alone," and I'm like WE ARE BOTH INTROVERTS. This is not a concept we are unclear on.
ThePhan: Sam: LOL, thanks.
Sam: NO PROBLEM.
Sam: i MEAN, THERE IS A PROBLEM.
Sam: IT TAKES WOOORRRRRK, I TELL YOU.
Ticia: No, marriage is sunshine and roses.
Sam: I agree with that. It's million degree heat and flowers that die in a couple days.
Sam: I kid, of course.
Sam: No, marriage is actually WROK. It's an adventure game where every option is "Be weird."

(We talked seriously for a little bit about legitimate things to worry about in relationships, and how weird it is when people get worried that Jacob and I haven't ever had a fight.)

Sam: You seem to me like you're a pretty practical person and not ever the delusion you'll NEVER fight, which I suppose is the case for some people.
ThePhan: Sam: Yeah, if we waited until we had a fight to make this happen, we'd be waiting for ages to get married. We're both kind of conflict-avoidy, but we've discussed at length how we *do* react to conflict and how we should approach it if we need to confront the other about something, that kind of thing.
ThePhan: So I'm pretty comfortable with that.
Sam: TP: It does not surprise me that you have talked it out and made that judgment. Like I said, you seem pretty practical and grounded to me.
Sam: ON THE OTHER HAND, MARRIAGE IS WORRRRRRRRRRRRRK. I DO NOT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THIS YET
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* ThePhan is talking to Jacob right now and sharing this whole conversation.
Sentynel: Jacob: YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO START A FIGHT WITH HER BEFORE YOU'RE MARRIED
ThePhan: Sent: LOL LOL
Ticia: Fight!
Sentynel: I'm disturbed by how many of my contributions to this conversation have been ALLCAPS.
ThePhan: He says, "Uh, okay. I guess I'll think about that."
Ticia: Jacob: MARRIAGE IS A LOT OF WORK ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY I MEAN IT IS *A LOT* OF WORK.
ThePhan: He says, "I change my opinions a lot. Maybe I can change my opinion on something really big that's really important to you, so we can fight about it!"
Ticia: There you go
ThePhan: Maybe we can fight tonight!
Ticia: Maybe he can be an extrovert.
Sentynel: I'm now slightly concerned that Jacob's only encounter with me may have led him to think I'm a little strange.