120 Texts

Sam: TP: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11720546 "Teenagers sending 120 text messages a day are more likely to drink, smoke and have sex, claims a US doctor."
Sam: TP: If you want to party with us, feel free to send 120 messages and wait for the vices to kick in.
ThePhan: Whoo!
Sam: On the other hand, if you want to quit smoking or something, doctors recommend capping your text output at 119 per day.
Sam: Actually, it doesn't say if you're also safe if you go over 120.
ThePhan: Well, as a teenager, if you aren't sending 120 texts a day, you don't have friends to drink, smoke, or have sex *with*.
Sam: "Studies show that people who go out on dates are more likely to talk to members of the opposite sex."
Goosey: TP: LOL
Goosey: Sam: LOL LOL!
ThePhan: Sam: LOL
Goosey: "Unless they are in San Francisco"
ThePhan: I've only sent 12 texts today. Does this mean I'm a goody-two-shoes?
Goosey: I haven't sent any. I must be a freaking saint.
goldfishy: I have sent one - I'm just boring
goldfishy: Certainly not saintly
ThePhan: And what about sending the same text to different people?
ThePhan: Because in that case I might have sent 17. I sent out a whiny text early this morning :-)
Sam: TP: That probably means that you'll do a *little* bit of drinking or smoking or sex tonight. Like, maybe you'll get a cold and take some Nyquil. Or maybe you'll be exiting a public facility and catch a whiff from some jerklump who's smoking immediately outside the door, or possibly a strange guy will trip over something and do a faceplant into your ankle.
goldfishy: Never heard of an ankle fetish before
Nyperold: I'm sure it exists.
goldfishy: Wouldn't surprise me
Sam: Hey, if she wants more than an accidental ankle nuzzle, she's gonna have to send more texts.

(Interspersed throughout this conversation, I was talking with Goosey about some stuff that had not gone very well that day. Her next comment is a response to that.)

Goosey: TP: Awwww\
* Goosey HUGS ThePhan!
ThePhan: A faceplant into my ankle is very possible, we're rehearsing dancing for the Christmas show tonight.
Sam: There, see?
Goosey: /topic Accidental Ankle Nuzzle
* ThePhan HUGS Goosey!
ThePhan: Sam: Oh, so my hug from Goosey was my little bit of sex?
goldfishy: Hey get a room of your own!
Goosey: TP: O_O
* Sentynel fights urge to wolf whistle
ThePhan: But it couldn't have been. Because she's sent out no texts.
Goosey: PLATONIC HUG!!! PLAAAATOOONIIIIC
Goosey: TP: Exactly.
ThePhan: ...That rhymed and would be the worst song ever.
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: "My hug from Goosey was my little bit of sex / But it couldn't be because she sent no texts!"
* ThePhan is rapping that in her bedroomm.
Goosey: TP: If you don't quote this on your blog, I will have to be disappointed.
goldfishy: Phan just don't hug Sam - he's sent the whole 120
ThePhan: Goosey: It's definitely going up there.
Goosey: fishy: O_O LOL
Sam: Now, for just 20 more texts, you can have someone accidentally back into you in the check-out line at Walmart.
Goosey: LOL
[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'Accidental Ankle Nuzzle' by Sam.

Lord of the Dum-Dums

LaZorra: I bought 270 Dum-Dums for $10. O.o

LaZorra: HOW CAN YOU EVEN MAKE THINGS THAT CHEAPLY

TalkingDog: DUMDUMZ

TalkingDog: With awesome sauce.

Goosey: That's, what? 3 cents a lollipop?

* ThePhan is going to go get some Dum-Dums from LaZorra right now, since it seems she can spare a few.

LaZorra: MINE

LaZorra: MY DUMDUMS

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS

Goosey: LOL LOL

Goosey: LaZ: Now I want someone to take a picture of you crouched all Gollum-like over your bag of dumdums.

LaZorra: Goosey: LOL LOL

ThePhan: Frodo must take the one Dum Dum to rule them all to Mordor, and throw it into the fires of Mount Doom.

ThePhan: That's my NaNo this year. Right there.

LaZorra: TP: LOL

Goosey: LOL LOL

Goosey: DO IT

LaZorra: That would be awesome. Candyland meets LOTR.

LaZorra: Instead of orcs, Sauron has giant hideous gingerbread men.

Goosey: Lorien is populated by Keebler Elves.

ThePhan: I also really like the image of Bilbo finding a Dum-Dum in Gollum's lair and just taking it. Because if you find a tiny lollipop in a creepy dark cave, THAT'S something you'll want to eat. Or just hold onto for years.

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: LOL

ThePhan: And what would constitute "wearing" it? At Bilbo's birthday party, does he just casually unwrap this Dum-Dum and put it in his mouth so he can disappear? And if that's the case, wouldn't it be down to almost nothing by the end of the story?

Nyperold: Each bite makes you invisible for as long as the plot requires?

Nyperold: Or lick?

LaZorra: ewwwwwwwwwwewewewewewewGROSS

* ThePhan does not overthink anything, what are you talking about?

LaZorra: I do like the idea of Gandalf trying to convince Bilbo to take the DumDum out of his mouth after the party and Bilbo stubbornly refusing.

LaZorra: Or Frodo, toward the end of the book, compulsively sticking it in his mouth against his own will.

ThePhan: LOL LOL

Nyperold: But makes you visible to Dum-Dum Wraiths?

Maryam: But how does Gollum bite it off?

LaZorra: Aragorn would be one of the Dumedain.

LaZorra: Maryam: Maybe he bites through the stick?

Maryam: Does he just, like, chomp Frodo's whole lower face?

LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: Maryam beat. Gollum's finger-biting-off scene just got really disgusting.

Maryam: "And he was thereafter known as Frodo Half-face."

* LaZorra falls over laughing.

ThePhan: And thus was born the Phantom of the Opera.

Nyperold: Frodo offering it to Galadriel...

LaZorra: ONE DUM-DUM TO RULE THEM ALL

ThePhan: Faramir doesn't reject ownership of the Dum-Dum for any moral decision. He's just germaphobic.

LaZorra: Boromir, on the other hand, has an oral fixation.

Nyperold: And Tom Bombadil just doesn't think much of it.

Goosey: LOL

Goosey: Please tell me someone is transcribing this

* ThePhan is.

Maryam: You know, the ring fixation would suddenly make a lot more sense if it were a lollipop that was, say, laced with crack.

ThePhan: LOL

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: Maryam: LOL

ThePhan: Sauron is an evil drug lord.

LaZorra: YES

LaZorra: Saruman makes his coke for him.

Maryam: Hobbit pipeweed is the gateway drug.

LaZorra: But he's secretly running stuff of his own, too.

LaZorra: LOL

Nyperold: So are the other "rings" things like Blow Pops?

Maryam: And the underground orc forgeries are meth labs.

Maryam: Forges.

Maryam: Whatever the word is.

LaZorra: ORC FORGERIES

LaZorra: THEY'RE INTO MONEY LAUNDERING TOO

* ThePhan didn't even catch that until Maryam mentioned it. Heh.

Maryam: LOL

* LaZorra either.

Sharing a Birth Mom

ThePhan: It's my grandmother's birthday. How did I go so long without knowing we shared a birth month? Heh.

Goosey: lol

ThePhan: I mean it's not like we've ever celebrated our birthdays with each other or anything, but still.

Kysle: I'm glad you don't share a birth mom, which is how I first read that.

ThePhan: That would be so confusing.

Kysle: It is making my head hurt, thinking about how that could work.

ThePhan: Kysle: Well, it could mean my mom had given birth to my grandmother, and then two generations later, my father married my mom. And she was still having babies. And she had me. And seven more.

[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'ThePhan's mother is Connor MacLeod!' by wintermute.

ThePhan: Hehe

Sentynel: There have been instances of people's biological parents carrying their children's children through IVF because their children can't carry their own kids.

Sentynel: That sentence is REALLY difficult to parse.

ThePhan: Sentynel: Heh. I knew what you meant. There's an extra generation in there in this case, though, which makes it funkier. My mom becomes my great-grandmother.

Sentynel: Yeah, I think that's pushing the bounds of biological plausibility just a little.

Kysle: TP: But your grandmother has to give birth to your mom who has to give birth to her. The only way to do that is time travel. (assuming it's your maternal grandmother?)

ThePhan: Kysle: Actually, she's my grandmother on my dad's side, so it works out well.

Kysle: Ahh

ThePhan: Well, as well as can be expected.

Kysle: Hehe

goldfishy: What worries me is you're all figuring out how to make this work...

Kysle: Hey, you never know when it might come in handy to have already thought about it.

Kysle: Maybe it'll be a question on a game show and you only have 10 seconds to answer!

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: "For $1,000,000, how could you and your grandmother have the same birth mom? GO!"

Mispronunciations

Maryam: I once heard a talk given by a guy who said "omnious". After seeing the general confusion of the audience, he reacted with indignation, saying, "You don't know what 'omnious' means??"
Maryam: As far as I could tell, he meant "ominous".
Goosey: LOL
wintermute: "Omnious" = similar to everything.

.

.

.

ThePhan: It always makes me a little crazy when people pronounced "mischievous" with an extra E sound in it. Where does that COME from? Is it from an old school spelling that's trickled down?
Sentynel: Phan: I believe it comes from misspelling "mischievous" as "mischevious".
Goosey: Phan: Mischievious... huh. I guess you're right. That i doesn't go in there, does it?
Sentynel: By analogy to various other adjectives ending in -ious.
ThePhan: "A pronunciation \mis -&#712 ; ch& #275;-v& #275;-& #601;s\ and a consequent spelling mischievious are of long standing: evidence for the spelling goes back to the 16th century. Our pronunciation files contain modern attestations ranging from dialect speakers to Herbert Hoover. But both the pronunciation and the spelling are still considered nonstandard."
ThePhan: Ooer, that didn't copy well. Heh. But that's the mis-chee-vee-ous pronunciation.
Sam: That's a hell of a pronunciation.
Sam: Now I know why people always get confused when I say something like, "Yes, but I do have a bit of a misandhash seven twelve champersand number two seventy-five, vand octothorpe two seventy five again, and number 601s streak in me."

The string of letters I posted to RinkWorks didn't have all those spaces in it - I actually had to put those back in when I pasted it here because it copied over correctly when I put it in the post, making Sam's joke very confusing. Heh.

ThePan

geneva: congrats Randy welcome, also, welcome to ThePan
geneva: oops
geneva: *ThePhan
Randy: PAN
ThePhan has left.
ThePhan has entered.
ThePhan: What? I left?
ThePhan: Maybe I was too upset at being called ThePan.
ThePhan: Heh.
LaZorra: YOU ARE SO TOUCHY TINPAN
ThePhan: STOP CALLING ME THAT STOP IT STOP IT I HATE IT
* ThePhan stomps out of chat for a split second again to prove how upsetting she finds this.

Finding TD

Sentynel: ARGH WHAT
Sentynel: My code is mysteriously completely unable to find tds.
* TalkingDog is right here.

Indiana Jones and the Dream House

wintermute: Mr Blandings Builds his Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and The Dream House

wintermute: One of those sounds more interesting than the other.
iwpg: wm: well, combining the dream house with the leopard print bikini...

(I sadly missed archiving this - an earlier movie scrambled name was "Indiana Jones and the Leopard Print Bikini.")

wintermute: iwpg: Indiana Jones is Ken?
iwpg: That would be the less scary intepretation.

Barbie Girl

* ThePhan is cleaning out her music library. Heh.
Sam: Did it get dirty?
[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'ThePhan has dirty music.' by Sam.
Randy: TP listens to tha Durty South!
ThePhan: It certainly got messy.
ThePhan: And I'm pretty sure it'd be very difficult to classify any of my music as "dirty south."
Sam: All you need for a proper music collection is six or seven mixes of the Hasselhoff cover of Hooked On a Feeling.
Sam: Everything else is just clutter.
ThePhan: LOL
Sam: Well, Walk the Dinosaur and Barbie Girl and assorted Hannah Montana.
Sam: But that goes without saying.
Sam: Also Britney. You need lots of Britney.
ThePhan: I do have stuff by Britney. Heh. :-) Mostly her new fun dancey stuff.
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: I used to have Barbie Girl, but no longer.
Sam: See, I told you you should buy duplicates. Now you went and lost your only copy.
Sam: Now you can't brush her hair. You can't undress her anywhere.
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: My day is shot when I can't undress the Barbie girl.

Alas for Society

LaZorra: ...what? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100520/ap_on_re_us/us_obama_rodent
Goosey: LaZ: LOL
Maryam: I was hoping Obama Rodent was a new Disney mascot.
LaZorra: Maryam: LOL LOL
LaZorra: The fact that SOMEONE GOT PAID to write that makes me wee for society.,
Goosey: You WHAT for society???
Maryam: LOL
LaZorra: Er...
* Goosey will NOT be drawing that comic! Maybe.
ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: Oh, my.
LaZorra: It makes me very very small for society's sake!

The Cookie Adventure

ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: My sister has just made some very interesting cookies.
ThePhan: First of all, she needed 4 1/2 cups of flour and only put in 1/2 a cup.
Goosey: LOL LOL
Goosey: HOW did she manage that??
ThePhan: So it was quite liquidy. She also didn't want to wash out a spoon to spoon the dough (now batter) onto the cooking pan, so she was just pouring it from the bowl, but then got bored of that and just ended up with a giant blob of cookie... stuff in the middle of the pan.
ThePhan: So a minute ago the siblings came rushing in to the room giggling and yelling, "WE MADE A GIANT SOUP COOKIE!"
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
Randy: SOUP COOKIE
ThePhan: The sister is proclaiming, "We can make this work!" I think she's anticipating us all sitting around eating it with spoons.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Goosey: Is it even edible??
ThePhan: Joel: "Is that the cookie that was boiling?" Elizabeth: "Yes."
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: Best baking adventure EVER.
Goosey: PICS
Zup: mmmm baking adventure
Zup: The best kind of adventure...
Randy: Cookies don't boil...COOKIES DON'T BOIL
ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: I just went to take pictures of it.
ThePhan: IT JIGGLES WHEN YOU MOVE THE PAN
[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'Cookies don't boil...COOKIES DON'T BOIL' by Goosey.
...

ThePhan: They're putting it back in the oven so they can take a picture of it boiling.
goldfishy: Hehehe
goldfishy: Are they actually gonna try eating it?
ThePhan: Elizabeth says yes.
ThePhan: She's going to be the only one.
goldfishy: I hope she doesn't make herself sick
ThePhan: She's defending herself: "At least I put a 1/2 cup of flour in there! There could have been none at all!"
ThePhan: She's probably going to just try a little tiny bit. If it's disgusting, she's not going to eat much. Heh.
Goosey: HOW DO YOU FORGET THE FLOUR?
ThePhan: I think she just missed the "4" entirely when she read the recipe.
ThePhan: Although, really, she's made cookies a few times, she should know better. Heh.
...
ThePhan: Elizabeth's putting powdered sugar on her cookie. That may help a bit.
LaZorra: ....
LaZorra: She should be putting flour on it.
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: Apparently she tried that, but gave up.
ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: Elizabeth has just drained the cookie.
ThePhan: She went to the sink and poured the liquid down the sink, leaving only the cookie crust substance.
LaZorra: TP: That sounds like serious pastry surgery.
LaZorra: LOL!!!
...
ThePhan: Elizabeth has just brought in a tray of... crumbly cookie crumbs, proudly proclaiming, "It's not liquidy anymore!"
ThePhan: Me: "There's nothing left."
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Elizabeth: "But it's not liquidy!"
...
ThePhan: Elizabeth announces the final results: It tastes like oily Laffy Taffy.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Seth is asking if we can make a real batch of cookies now.
LaZorra: That sounds...completely disgusting.
LaZorra: Laffy Taffy, now sponsored by Exxon!
Goosey: Hehe, Seth.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: He also hopes we make millions of dollars off of this cookie mess when it gets famous.
Goosey: ...
ThePhan: I'm not sure exactly sure why he thinks people will pay us for this.
Goosey: Elizabeth's Non-Liquidy Boiled Cookie Crap? found at your local grocer?
ThePhan: Official slogan: "It's crap... JIGGLE JIGGLE!"

Cutting Myself

ThePhan: Here's a fun fact. Yesterday I sliced both my thumbs. By accident. My right thumb got a paper cut and my left thumb... well, I was playing with scissors. That really is as bad an idea as it sounds. They're both fine, but now I'm worried that the other fingers will soon follow.
10Kan: Phan: Did you take the opportunity to become your own blood sister?
ThePhan: 10K: They actually weren't bleeding at the same time. One happened in the morning, one happened at night.
ThePhan: But I shall keep that in mind for my index fingers today.
10Kan:
10Kan: One of my friends is now looking forward to cutting herself, and it's ALL MY FAULT.

REVENGE OF THE TOILET MAN

(Non-relevant bot-playing stuff has been taken out. Like everyone else's pictures, votes, and scores. PicMatchBot did NOT feature just one image. Which was #4.)

PicMatchBot: Time's up! Vote for the best image that fits the adjective unpopular. (You can't vote for yourself!)
PicMatchBot: Vote 4 for .
Sam: REVENGE OF TOILET MAN
PicMatchBot: Sam loses a point for submitting and not voting.
Sam: Next time I'm gonna vote instead of saying REVENGE OF TOILET MAN.
Sam: If I remember.
Sentynel: Do both!
Goosey: LOL
* Sentynel walks into the polling station, announces "REVENGE OF TOILET MAN", and exits.

Bread Shorts and Chicken Panties

LaZorra: SHORTBREAD AND TEA BREAK
Sentynel: SHORTBREAD
Ghost of Sam: SHORT BREAK FOR TEA BREAD!
Ghost of Sam: ...that was a very gremlinnlike thing to say.
10Kan: BREAK BREAD FOR SHORTY
Goosey: BREAK BREAD FOR TEA SHORTS!
10Kan: Aww.
Goosey: You beat me.
Goosey: TEA BREAK AND BREAD SHORTS
Goosey: There.
Ghost of Sam: Mmmmm, bread shorts.
Goosey: Sam: You can wear them over those chicken panties.
ThePhan: Goosey: LOL LOL
Ghost of Sam: Ooooh, yeah.
Ghost of Sam: CHICKEN SANDWICH CLOTHES.
ThePhan: This is a terribly unappetizing image.
Goosey: Then just pop yourself in a paper bag and label yourself a Nugget.
LaZorra: You guys are weird.
Ghost of Sam: For best results, use mayonnaise socks and a cranberry sauce shirt.
ThePhan: "You hungry?" *takes clothes off* "Here! Have a chicken sandwich!"
LaZorra: EWWW
Ghost of Sam: TP: LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Goosey: LOL!!!!!
Ghost of Sam: I almost choked to death there.
Ghost of Sam: I'm still almost choking to death.
Goosey: Sam: Breathe.
iwpg: LOL (except at Sam dying)
TalkingDog: Vader! Release him!
Sentynel: Please don't die. We need you to pay the bandwidth bills.
Ghost of Sam: Holy crap that was funny.
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: There's also gotta be a joke connecting stripping down to chicken strips. Someone figure it out and make it fo rme.
Goosey: TP: LOL!!
Goosey: TP: Exotic dancer with stage fright?
ThePhan: Hehe
Goosey: Chicken stripper!
10Kan: LOL
* Goosey takes a bow.

State Mangling

(iwpg was getting weird errors.)

iwpg: Also, it's back to normal now that the evil message is off the top of the buffer.
Goosey is away.
iwpg: It didn't permanently mangle the state, which is nice.
* LaZorra MANGLES THE STATES.
LaZorra: Iowa! You're going to switch places with North Carolina!
10Kan: Whoah, hey!
LaZorra: North Carolina, you're going to split into three pieces and become the feather boa export capital of the world.
* 10Kan is tossed about by his state relocating itself.
ThePhan: Hey, wait a minute. That means the girl who gives me a ride home from school will now be going in the opposite direction.
ThePhan: That's not helpful at all.
Goosey is back.
Goosey: I leave for TWO MINUTES and LaZorra starts mangling states!
Sentynel: She's a geographical menace.
ThePhan: Are all the North Carolina people going to have to learn how to be corn farmers now?
Goosey: LaZorra, you put those states back where they came from!

PEPOPLE

AstroBot: Question: Which moon is this? (1) Juliet, (2) Thebe, (3) Mimas, (4) Ganymede.
Sam: THAT'S THE DEATH STAR.
NessaChan: DUN DUN
ThePhan: IT'S NO MOON
Sentynel: THAT'S NO MOON
Sam: THAT'S NO MOON.
Kysle: LOL LOL
Sentynel: Hahaha.
FantasyFreak: IT'S A SPACE STATION!
NessaChan: NERDS!
ThePhan: LOL
NessaChan: hehe
Sam: That ruled.
Sentynel: You guys are all awesome.
LaZorra: You pepople are awesome.
Sentynel: PEPOPLE
Sam: PEPOPLE
ThePhan: PEOPLE
NessaChan: pepo pepo pepo
LaZorra: OR WHAEVER
ThePhan: I mean PEOPLE
ThePhan: ...
Sam: TP: Did you just misspell a misspelling?
Sentynel: WHAEVER!
LaZorra: LOL LOL
ThePhan: I MEAN PEPOLE
Sam: TP: You know what that makes you, don't you?
* LaZorra dies.
ThePhan: You know what that makes me.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Sentynel: The typos are coming thick and fast tonight.
Sam: Yes I do know what that makes you.
LaZorra: YOU STILL MISSPELLED IT
ThePhan: LOL I DID
* Sentynel hyperventilates
ThePhan: PEPOPLE PEPOPLE PEPOPLE
Sam: You know you're in a weird place when shouting "PEPOPLE PEPOPLE PEPOPLE" indicates success.