Silly Word Games

ThePhan: Everything you can possibly do for fun at a campground is not something I'm interested, unless it is "play silly word games with the people you went camping with," in which case I COULD DO THAT ANY TIME. I don't need to do it Wi-Fi-less and surrounded by bugs.

ThePhan: I did miss a word. There should be an "in" after "interested."

goldfishy: Oh I thought we were playing a silly word game!

Smuggling

LaZorra: One of the broadcast students is in the newsroom doing a standup. She's talking about a conference at which Border Patrol, ICE, and local law enforcement will be. One line goes, "They'll be discussing creative ways smugglers get drugs across the border."

LaZorra: "We'll keep you updated on the latest."

wintermute: That's a PSA I want to hear.

LaZorra: GOODY I CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN HOW TO CREATIVELY SMUGGLE MY DRUGS

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: This is why I hate broadcast news. :-p

ThePhan: It's important to stay up-to-date on the latest techniques!

Sentynel: LaZ: They've found a couple of drug smuggling *submarines* in places.

LaZorra: Sent: That RULES.

LaZorra: Er, I mean...

* ThePhan thought that said "a couple of druggies smuggling submarines."

LaZorra: LOL LOL

Sentynel: Phan: "Duuude, I have a great idea. We can smuggle SUBMARINES."

LaZorra: I hope they didn't try to smuggle them in their pants.

radiant: Just so that you know, at least one border control official is watching this chatroom.

LaZorra: HAI GUYZ

wintermute: I think that is reserved for smuggling animals.

goldfishy: "Is that a submarine? Or are you just really pleased you didn't get caught by border control?"

LaZorra: goldie: LOL LOL, that's EXACTLY what I was thinking.

FBI has entered.

FBI: Dude, it's not just the border patrol.

FBI has left.

LaZorra: :-.

Sentynel: Well *that* killed the conversation.

Dave: The FBI tends to have that affect.

* ThePhan does not invite the FBI to lively conversation parties.

radiant: EFFECT

Dave: Your mom.

Goosey: LOL

.

.

.

LaZorra: OK, the actual quote is that "Speakers from ICE, the Border Patrol, and the FBI will talk about angs, to trends, to creative ways smugglers are getting drugs into the country."

LaZorra: *gangs

LaZorra: Er.

LaZorra: I am missing part of that sentence.

LaZorra: *talk about everthing from gangs

LaZorra: *EVERYTHING

LaZorra: AUGH

Sentynel: LOL

wintermute: The thing about "everything" is that it includes cake recipes and next season's fashion tips.

ThePhan: The fashion tips might be part of the "trends" portion of this speech.

goldfishy: Well don't you want to know which brownie recipe is favoured among pot heads?

LaZorra: wm: Those are all very important topics in border security.

LaZorra: We wouldn't want next season's fashions to be replicated cheaply in Mexico.

FBI has entered.

* FBI talks about angs, cake recipes and next season's fashion tips.

FBI has left.

.

.

.

LaZorra: HAHAHA. Her tagline:

LaZorra: "This conference is also open to the general publiic interested in learning more."

Sentynel: The publiic, huh?

LaZorra: OH SHOT OP

Sentynel: Who wants to bet half the audience are smugglers looking for ideas?

LaZorra: Would be my guess.

Sentynel: Well, if any of them turn up in a submarine, you'll know for sure.

ThePhan: Maybe they'll smuggle a machine into the meeting, set it free, and then run away laughing. That could be kind of awesome.

ThePhan: Er, a submarine, not a "machine."

Sentynel: I was wondering what sort of machines.

Sentynel: I had visions of them being like "ha HA, we smuggled in A PRINTING PRESS!" and disappearing.

ThePhan: And the FBI are left in a room with no people but piles of random machinery.

LaZorra: Sent: LOL LOL

Sentynel: It's like a reverse Carmen Sandiego. Rather than stealing impractically large objects, you smuggle them in instead.

Sentynel: "Detective! Carmen Sandiego has stolen the Eiffel Tower, and Ogeidnas Nemrac has smuggled it into a conference in Arizona!"

LOOFAH

LaZorra: Hey folx

Grishny: Oh, "folks". For a second there I thought "why is she saying hey to herself?"

Grishny: Just assumed it was a typo of "fox"

Sentynel: LaZ!

goldfishy: She's a fox?

goldfishy: No wonder she typos

Grishny: That's what "LaZorra" means. "The Fox"

Grishny: Or rather, since it's feminine, "the Vixen"

Grishny: In fact I have this dim recollection that when she first started coming here, she called herself "El Zorro" or "Zorro the Fox" or something like that. Doesn't your nick originate from the Zorro tv show?

LaZorra: Grish: Wow, you have an incredible memory.

LaZorra: I was Zorro_the_Fox.

ThePhan: I just remembered a part of my dream last night.

ThePhan: I met up with LZ in real life but I tried calling her both "LaZorra" and "Heather" and she didn't seem to like either one. She either wouldn't respond, or she'd glare at me.

LaZorra: TP: >:-|

ThePhan: I finally gave a heartfelt speech about how I just wanted to be her friend and if she would just TELL me what she wanted to be called, I could go along with that.

ThePhan: But she just got up and stalked out.

ThePhan: And I was sad.

LaZorra has left.

ThePhan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

radiant: powerword IRL =)

Sentynel: LOL LOL

ThePhan: COME BACK, ZORRO_THE_FOX!

Sentynel: Actually, in real life she expects to be referred to as "Oh Ace One", or a similar honorific.

LaZorra has entered.

LaZorra: Sent speaks truth. You will address me properly.

Grishny: Okay, Michael J.

LaZorra: I don't remember anyone specifically suggesting "LaZorra." But I do remember it confusing people because it was masculine form.

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: Grish: LOL

* ThePhan bows to the great Oh Ace LaZorra Fox One Heather.

* LaZorra is cracking up at work.

Goosey: LOL LOL

Grishny: That's her pilot call sign.

Grishny: Blows "Starbuck" right out of the sky.

ThePhan: OH WAIT

* ThePhan rearranges it to LaZorra Oh One Fox Ace Heather so it spells out LOOFAH.

LaZorra: LOL LOL

Goosey: LOL LOL

LaZorra: AWESOME

ThePhan: LOL = LaZorra Oh LaZorra

iwpg: LOL LOL LOL

Grishny: That is IT. I am calling her LOOFAH from this day forward.

Grishny: Or maybe "The Loofah."

LaZorra: LOOFAH OF ALL THAT IS HOLY

Healthy Nutrition

ThePhan: Roomie's talking about her nutrition class.

ThePhan: "For my body size, I'm supposed to eat between 2000 and 22,000 calories a day."

ThePhan: Just misspoken, but it made me giggle.

Sentynel: ...

Sentynel: That's quite a lot.

goldfishy: So it would be fine to be 11 times bigger than she is? She must be tiny

ThePhan: Yeah, if you're supposed to be eating 22,000 calories a day, there's NO WAY it's also okay for you to eat 2000 a day.

Hoom

LaZorra: Oh sigh. Mood swing.

LaZorra: Aaaand boom.

* Sentynel HUGS LaZorra!

* Sentynel hooms the "bope" wasn't actually LaZ exploding, or she could be a bit difficult to hug.

Sentynel: What the hell did I just type!?

Sentynel: "hoom"? What am I, an ent!?

LaZorra: LOL LOL

LaZorra: And "bope"?

LaZorra: You're turning into me.

Prequels

(I did NOT bold all the names in this because that would take FOREVER. Also, this was also all a response to this link I had posted: http://www.cracked.com/blog/14-prequels-even-hollywood-wouldnt-make/ )

* 10Kan is trying to think up titles for Phan's "prequels Hollywood would never make" list.

10Kan: So far, all I have is "The Englishman who Went Up a Hill and Came Down the Other Side" and "The Ordinary Research Findings of NIMH".

10Kan: Star Wars Episode 4.5: Nothing But Moisture Farming

Goosey: What about "Harry Potter and the Cupboard Under the Stairs"

Sentynel: No Country For Middle-Aged Men

10Kan: Brand New Lions

Goosey: Or "Daylight: A Spoiled Brat in Arizona"

Nyperold: Hello all!

10Kan: Goosey: What's that a sequel to?

Goosey: prequel to Twilight.

Sentynel: Some Bloke Loses His Legs And Mopes About It, In Full 3D

Goosey: ??

Sentynel: Avatar

10Kan: The Day The Earth Kept Spinning

Nyperold: You've Got Some Spam

Sentynel: Hm, along the same lines as 10K's, it's Tomorrow

10Kan: LOL

Sentynel: Or indeed July 3rd

10Kan: 29 Days Before 28 Days Later

Nyperold: Day Before the Triffids

Sentynel: Peopleland

10Kan: I, Roomba

Goosey: The Land Before the Land Before Time.

Goosey: 10Kan: LOL!

Sentynel: Similarly, Shaun of the Boring Day Job

Sentynel: 10K: Win

Nyperold: Problem Embryo

Sam: What's Now Happening To Baby Jane?

Nyperold: Along the same lines: Embryo Geniuses

Sam: I Know What You're Going To Do Next Summer

10Kan: Lumps of Coal are a Very Long Time

Goosey: Second to Last Destination

Sentynel: Terrestrial

Sam: Dude, I'm Gonna Buy a Car

Goosey: LOL!

10Kan: LOL

Sentynel: February 1st

10Kan: LOL

Goosey: LOL redsang suggests :The weird, new, ballooning guy of OZ.

Nyperold: Peter Parker Studies For Midterms

10Kan: These are all briliant.

10Kan: *brilliant

10Kan: Tell redsang that's awesome.

Goosey: John Hammond's Flea Circus

Sentynel: The Somewhat Impressives

* 10Kan is adding his to Phan's Facebook post.

Goosey: SEnt: LOL

Sentynel: I Am History

10Kan: LOL

Sentynel: The Penultimate SamuraiNyperold: Mr. Pan Builds His Dream Labyrinth

Sentynel: Losing Nemo

Sentynel: School of Normal Lessons

10Kan: Small Fry

Nyperold: Some Boards of Dr. Caligari

10Kan: Sent: Was that last one a riff on "School of Rock"?

Sam: Close Encounters of the Second Kind

10Kan: Nyp: LOL

10Kan: Sam: or "Seeing Faerie Folk in the Woods"

Sentynel: 10K: Yup.

10Kan: The Sound of Warming Up

Sam: Dr. Strangelove, Or: I Worry Too Much About the Bomb

Sentynel: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Baby

10Kan: The Good, the Bad, and the Acne

Sentynel: U for Upset

10Kan: Ha!

Sentynel: Batman Thinks About Getting Started

10Kan: Or "Bruce Wayne Gets Pummeled Across China".

Sam: Then there's the old standby, "The Madness of King George II"

Sentynel: Alternate School of Rock prequel: School of Classical

Sam: School of Jazz would be awesome.

Sam: Dog Day Morning

Sam: Apollo 12

Sentynel: Middling Gun

Goosey: Slightly Tipsy Master

Nyperold: Ordinary Thursday

10Kan: The Quick and the Not-So-Quick.

10Kan: Sky Captain and the World of Today

Goosey: Ferris Bueler Goes To School

10Kan: Aliens vs. Boredom

Sam: Lone Ruffians of New York

Nyperold: Red October Stays Docked

Sam: Four First Dates and a Retirement Home?

10Kan: Good one.

Sentynel: Sarah Connor Has an Ordinary Few Days

Sentynel: Sam: Love Probably

10Kan: He-Man and the Guys Who Wield Influence Over Only One Planet

Sentynel: Sinbad of the Six Seas

Goosey: LOL

10Kan: Gremlins 0: Responsible Ownership

Goosey: There's a whole slew of movies that could be prequeled by A Bunch of Single People Don't Get Dates

Sentynel: (Alternatively: Sinbad Spends Decades Weightlifting)

Sam: Goosey: LOL

10Kan: Heh, I'm thinking up a lot of these and then saying to myself, "No, that would actually be interesting."

Goosey: The Pevensie Children Live Ordinary Lives

Sentynel: Mark Zuckerberg Doesn't Get Any Ideas

10Kan: Being Craig Schwartz

Sentynel: Home With Family

10Kan: Scott Pilgrim vs. Canada

Goosey: John Smith Sails to the New World

Sentynel: Standing Tiger, Visible Dragon

Goosey: The Baby Mermaid

Nyperold: My Neighbor Hiroto

Sentynel: A Group of Engineers Tinker Around In Their Garage and Don't Achieve Much

10Kan: Nyp: in that vein: "Ordinary Ainu Prince Astuffaka"

TalkingDog: Star Peace.

Goosey: LOL!

Goosey: Howl's Stationary Castle

Nyperold: Recruiting James Ryan

Sentynel: TD: On that note, Star Stroll

Goosey: Random Mutants

* 10Kan shakes his fist. CENSOR!

Sentynel: 2000: A Bunch of Boring Preparations

Goosey: LOL

10Kan: Crazy Scientist With Foolish, Unworkable Ideas

Goosey: The Absentminded Science Scholar

10Kan: It's Probably Just My Imagination About Mary

Sentynel: Planet of the Humans

Goosey: LOL!

Sam: LOL

TalkingDog: Win.

10Kan: LOL

Sam: 1968: A Hippie Odyssey

Goosey: American Piecrust

Goosey: Buffy the Cheerleader

10Kan: Ha!

Nyperold: The Great Train Successful and Uneventful Delivery

Goosey: LOL

Nyperold: A Russian Tail

10Kan: Too Fast, Two Horses: Chariot Drift

TalkingDog: No Dalmations.

Goosey: TD: LOL!

Sentynel: (Last one for now: Law Abiding Sailors of the Caribbean)

Goosey: LOL LOL

10Kan: Just the Right Number of Bridges

Goosey: Willy Wonka Meets the Oompa-Loompas.

Sentynel: 10K: LOL!

TalkingDog: Little Shop of Flowers.

Nyperold: Herschel Layton and the Academic Advisor

Sam: TD: LOL LOL LOL

Goosey: TD: Nice!

Goosey: Pomade

10Kan: The Fords of Madison County

Goosey: Pomade (prequel to Grease and/or Hairspray)

10Kan: Goosey: OH! LOL

Grishny: Did anybody do "Regularman" yet?

Goosey: Peter Parker Goes To Kindergarten

Grishny: No Country for Young Men

Nyperold: Fahrenheit 72

TalkingDog: Baby Frankenstein.

Goosey: LOL

Grishny: The Dark Squire

Goosey: Clean Harry

Grishny: Blade Walker

Sam: The Fifth Sense

TalkingDog: The Fourth Element?

Grishny: The Second Man

10Kan: Sam: He smells dead people?

Goosey: LOL!

Sam: Yeah. What a sicko.

Grishny: Ugh

TalkingDog: Pokemon: The Zeroth Movie. Okay, that doesn't work.

Goosey: U is for Umbrella

Grishny: Just One Indemnity

Sam: hehe

TalkingDog: Bottom Gun.

Grishny: The Man Who Had Too Many Sneaking Suspicions

10Kan: The Eggs

Grishny: The Conenecks

Goosey: ol

Goosey: LOL

Goosey: Good Evening, Vietnam!

10Kan: Kill People With Bill

Goosey: Losers with Minor Superpowers

Sam: The Saga of the Viking Women As They Mind Their Own Business While the Great Sea Serpent Minds Its

10Kan: On Her Majesty's Unemployment Pension

10Kan: Sam: LOL

TalkingDog: Bruce Wayne.

Grishny: One Sat On This Side of the Cuckoo's Nest

10Kan: Four Well-Respected Astronauts

Nyperold: La Terra (rests)

TalkingDog: The Land Before the Land Before Time.

10Kan: Romeo and Those Capulet Scum

Goosey: lol

Goosey: The Air Down Here

Nyperold: Un Chiot Andalou

10Kan: Terrestrial Jam

Grishny: Ground Bud

10Kan: The Incredible Walkies

Goosey: EarthWorld

Nyperold: Life of the Fireflies

Goosey: Robin of Locksley Joins the Crusades

10Kan: Indiana Jones and the Doctoral Thesis

Grishny: Not Yet a Robocop

Goosey: LOL!

10Kan: ...of Doom

10Kan: Honey, I Drove the Kids to School

Goosey: LOL

Nyperold: A Bog-Standard Day Out

Grishny: Ferris Bueller's Day at School

Goosey: 5 Leagues Under The SEa

Goosey: Dr. Jekyll Gets A Lab.

Goosey: Alternatively, Dr. Frankenstein Gets A Lab.

10Kan: Seven Brothers Live In Foul Bachelorhood

Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

* 10Kan wonders if watching "It", "The Thing", "Them", "The Stuff" and "They Live" would be a fun movie marathon.

Goosey: LOL

Grishny: Tuning Up

Grishny: (prequel to The Sound of Music)

Goosey: hehe

Nyperold: Chihiro Moves Away

10Kan: How Stella Lost Her Groove

10Kan: Abby Normal: Life Before the Monster

Nyperold: Green Arbor Day

Goosey: Life on 34th Street

Goosey: Little Girls

10Kan: Obedience on the Bounty

Goosey: LOL

10Kan: The King and Nobody Else

Nyperold: Average Self-Esteem & Open-Mindedness

10Kan: LOL

Goosey: LOL

10Kan: That's more a sequel than a prequel

Nyperold: Yeah, could be.

Grishny: Monsters Small Business

Goosey: hehe

Nyperold: But then, we've also been naming things that are less prequels and more like the first act

10Kan: The Partnership

:-O

Goosey: :-O

Goosey: That was a great movie.

LaZorra: I liked :-O too.

Randy: I'm more a fan of :-O 2 : :-O

Stickers On Them

ThePhan: ChaCha question: "What is the name of the movie that was based on a book about these people that would receive stickers on them?"
ThePhan: ...Stickers on what?

Home Remedies With Garlic

ThePhan: ...I've also just had to answer a question about how to treat a yeast infection with garlic.

ThePhan: The most accepted answer appears to be not eat garlic, but to shove a clove right on up in there.

* ThePhan is not at all sure she wanted to send that answer on. But she did so with disclaimers.

goldfishy: Up..up.uppp uhhh

TalkingDog: That is weird.

ThePhan: TD: Yes. Yes, it is.

goldfishy: but wont it get lost?

ThePhan: goldfishy: Apparently you're supposed to tie a string around it to easily get it back out.

goldfishy: I can just see that going so wrong

ThePhan: Yeah. I can't imagine that it's terribly healthy to just shove food into that cavity and leave it there.

Sentynel: You've gotta have some pretty strong opinions on conventional medicine to take up this particular alternative...

Sentynel: This is totally the sort of person who shows up in the clinic with House.

Rinkie Compilation Album

Sam: All I want to do is disable vsync.

Sam: HOW DO I DO THAT.

(Awhile later, Sam had still not found an answer.)

Sam: DAMMIT, IT DID NOT FIX MY PROBLEM.

TalkingDog: Try turning on NSync.

Sentynel: Aren't they an awful band?

geneva: there should never be space cowboys

geneva: EVER

Sentynel: geneva: Are you dissing Firefly?

geneva: Sent: That was not my intention, but likely you have never owned an N*Sync album :P

Sentynel: No. No I haven't.

Sentynel: If I did, I would have to have a serious re-evaluation of my life.

geneva: be thankful!

geneva: lol

* ThePhan is going to give Sent an N*Sync album for Christmas this year.

Sentynel: I will hunt you down.

ThePhan: What if it was a very special compilation album of Rinkies covering N*Sync songs?

ThePhan: Because that's a project I'm trying to get going.

Sentynel: That's the oddest thing ever. I love it.

* ThePhan is pretty sure she would play that album every day of her life.

Slot Machine Time Travel

TalkingDog: Slot machines would be a bad way to time travel. How many people would wind up in year 777?

Maryam: TD: Only a very lucky few.

Maryam: The rest would end up in such years as BAR BAR LEMON.

Hug-Fists

LaZorra: On a completely unrelated note, I have decided that my hypothesis that there is no bad combo of tomatoes, parsley, lemon juice, butter and garlic to "theorum."

Sentynel: LaZ: I think you missed a verb somewhere.

LaZorra: Sent: Oh. Meant "have decided to upgrade"

Sentynel: LaZ: Also misspelled "theorem".

LaZorra: THEORUM

LaZorra: THE RUM OF THE THEOS

LaZorra: WHY IS ALL THE THEORUM GONE

ThePhan: Why is theorum gone?

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: LZ beat.

* LaZorra high-fives Phan!

LaZorra: Yours was better, hehe.

* ThePhan thought that said "hug-fists" and didn't know what that meant.

Randy: HUG-FISTS

Randy: Thats when you hug someone who is hitting you.

Randy: Or vice versa

LaZorra: HUGFISTS

ThePhan: I figured maybe it was like those really awkward moments where one person goes in for a fist-bump and the other goes in for a hug.

LaZorra: haha, the other day I high-fived someone's fist-bump by accident.

LaZorra: We did it again, on purpose, at the end of the conversation.

ThePhan: Awesome.

Sentynel: One time I high-fived someone's fist-bump.

LaZorra: COPYCAT

Sentynel: LaZ: I was actually lying for attention. I've never high-fived someone's fist-bump. =(

ThePhan: One time I lied about high-fiving someone's fist-bump for attention.

Sentynel: COPYCAT

ThePhan: Yay, it works!

Sentynel: LOL

Randy: Yay, it works!

World Capitals

ThePhan: Erm. I should maybe not include this sentence in my paper: "I had a massive grasp of world capitals in the US when I was in fifth or sixth grade."

ThePhan: YES ALL THOSE WORLD CAPITALS IN THE US

ThePhan: IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO MEMORIZE THEM

Sentynel: Phan: Very American of you. =p

The Debate Chums On

ThePhan: "The debate chums on over the effectiveness of computers as learning tools."

ThePhan: ...Chums?

Randy: Where was that?

ThePhan: My textbook.

Sentynel: Are you sure it's not just an odd font face?

ThePhan: It definitely isn't.

ThePhan: "Learning" does not look like "leaming."

ThePhan: Which was what I looked for first, if it was really "churns."

Randy: LOL

Randy: Yay typos!

Sentynel: It also resembles an OCR error, but I'd hope they didn't use OCR at any point in the process of crafting the textbook...

ThePhan: Yeah.

ThePhan: Entertainingly, it's on the "don't use computers for education" side of the issue.

ThePhan: They're probably against it because they keep typoing and it makes them mad.

RA

(I was having a bad week with my rheumatoid arthritis.)

ThePhan: Meh. Having kind of a rough week. I'm trying to get official disability certification in the school, because my RA is wreaking havoc with me this month and I kind of can't do my scene painting projects because of it.

Maryam: Oh man, they sound like a jerk.

ThePhan: Turns out I may not be able to get documentation for it in time for it to make any difference, and even if I do, the most they can promise me is the ability to turn my projects in later.

Goosey: Gah! What is your RA doing?

ThePhan: Which would be OK, but I'm pretty sure it's the stress from the scene painting class that's CAUSING this extended flare-up, in which case postponing it doesn't really make a difference.

ThePhan: Goosey: Messing hardcore with my fingers and wrists. I've been eating a lot of finger food this week because eating with a fork is awkward and painful.

* ThePhan doesn't have any better proposed solution to the problem or anything, she's just frustrated that nobody else seems to have one either. Heh.

Goosey: No fun! And I'm totally laughing at myself, because I read "RA" as "Resident Advisor"

ThePhan: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT

Maryam: LOL that is what I thought too!

ThePhan: That explains Maryam's response.

Goosey: I was like MEAN RA TORTURING MY FRIENDS FINGERS

Goosey: CALL THE POLICES

ThePhan: That is the best ever.

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: All casual. "So my resident advisor broke my fingers and wrists this week..."

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: I'm pretty sure there WOULD be an easy solution to that one.

Emoticon Fail

ThePhan: So in Skype, whenever you type emoticons, they are animated.

ThePhan: I was text chatting with my friend Anna on there, and she was trying to do a project.

ThePhan: But then she typed a smiley face and went off on this tangent about how she was fascinated by the emoticon animations.

ThePhan: I told her to go work, and she said, "I can't! I have to look at the moving smiley!"

Goosey: LOL

Randy: LOL

ThePhan: So I started typing short lines of text and sending it.

LaZorra: LOL LOL

ThePhan: I said, "I am going to type until that smiley goes off your screen!"

Goosey: LOL

ThePhan: And followed that up with a ":-P"

LaZorra: bahahhaa

Goosey: FAIL

ThePhan: ...And then went, "CRAP! CRAP CRAP CRAP!"

Randy: D'OH!

Goosey: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: "THAT DOESN'T WORK!"

ThePhan: So much for trying to help people be productive.

LaZorra: That rules all over the place.

Reasons to Rent a Movie

ThePhan: Sometimes I get a movie from my Netflix queue, and I think, "This is not at all my type of movie. Why did I add this again?" and just then Benedict Cumberbatch shows up as Royalist #2.

ThePhan: This kind of situation has happened kind of a lot.

Gender in Language

LaZorra: ...One of the folks in the newsroom just opened the AP Stylebook and exclaimed, "Wow, that's hardcore! Did you know 'fiancee' is spelled differently for a man and a woman?!" Choruses of, "NO WAI!!"

Dave: That's dumb.

Dave: That's like how there's comedian and comedienne.

Dave: Hello this is not French our nouns do not have gender stop pretending like they do!

Kysle: Waitress, waiter?

Kysle: We adopt such for some words.

Dave: It's still stupid. And anyhow, everybody knows the proper gender free version is "waitron".

Sam: "waiter" and "waitress" are distinguished using English conventions. Fiance/fiancee and comedian/comedienne exhibit a spelling convention borrowed from the language where the words themselves came from, which is different. Not siding with Dave necessarily, but it's different.

Sam: There's also the argument to be made that "waiter" and "waitress" are gender-neutral nouns, even though they refer to male and female persons, respectively. As opposed to fiance/fiancee in French, which not only do that but have a "gender" as well, like every other noun.

Goosey: I don't know what you guys are talking about. When I go to a restaurant they only have "servers" and on a plane they have "flight attendants".

goldfishy: You get food brought to you by high end computers? Where do you eat? I wanna see that

Sentynel: gold: You need a really fast internet connection.

Sam: "servers" are computers. The chicks that bring you food in restaurants are called "wenches."

Sam: Possibly "barmaids," depending on whether or not there's a bar.

Sam: On planes, they're "flying wenches."

Sam: Or possibly "air wenches."

Goosey: LOL

* Sentynel chokes on his sandwich laughing

Sam: I'm undecided about which term is awesomer.

Sentynel: Definitely "flying wenches".

goldfishy: Hehehehe at least both kindsa servers have racks *giggles childishly*

LaZorra: In garages, they're "flying wrenches."

Goosey: "I'm not a wench, I'm NOT a wench!"

Sentynel: gold: LOL LOL

Goosey: fishy: LOL!

Dave: WAITRON

Sam: The wenches who work in libraries have "stacks."

Goosey: Sam: Why yes I do.

LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL

LaZorra: I love you people.

Dave: What about racks?

Dave: Oh, those are for server wenches.

Sam: In hospitals, "matron" is male, obviously.

Sam: Because the feminine form is "mattress."

Goosey: LOL

Sam: Other male/female pairs: under/undress, butter/buttress, pr0n/press.

Goosey: *snerk*

Sentynel: LOL

Dave: Everybody knows if you absolutely need to point out that the noun in question is female, you put the word "chick" in front of it.

Dave: So benefactor because "chick benefactor". Comedian is "chick comedian." And so on.

Sentynel: Goosey: LOL LOL

Sam: How's your chick husband doing?

Dave: Very well!

Sam: Glad to hear it! She's quite a chick man.

Dave: This gives an unfortunate double meaning to the term "chick magnet" though.

Sam: LOL

Sam: Just so I understand, "bitch" should be "chick dog" now, right?

Sam: As in, "Quit chick dogging to me about that!"

Sentynel: Sam: So stealing that.

Taking Socks Off

Sentynel: I appear to have picked up the rather bizarre habit of taking my right sock off when I'm thinking. This confuses me.

Goosey: Sent: LOL LOL

goldfishy: Is it so you can count to 15?

Time Periods

Dave: And yes, I know lots of people still get up at 5am. But there was a time when pretty much literally everybody did. It was called "HOLY CRAP THIS TIME PERIOD SUCKS I WISH I LIVED IN SOME OTHER PERIOD". I mean, I assume.

Openhearted Meatballs

ThePhan: Sent: I was poking around on friends' Last.fm pages and saw the group you're in called "Openminded Metalheads," but I definitely read it as "Openhearted Meatballs."

Sentynel: Phan: LOL LOL

Sentynel: It's true.

Sentynel: I am a meatball undergoing open heart surgery.

Sentynel: Permanently.

Queen Elizabeth

ThePhan: I'm still convinced that if my sister Elizabeth (the one I fought with most) and I cared less about people, we would BE Quinn and Daria.

Sentynel: Somehow, the very British part of my subconscious saw "Elizabeth" and the letters "Qu" and "E" and read "Queen Elizabeth". And I was like "woah."

ThePhan: Did I forget to mention I'm Queen Elizabeth's sister?

ThePhan: We fight all the time.

Sentynel: Yes. Yes you did.

Theater Scripts

Goosey: GIGANTIC incoming donation of theatre books.

Goosey: Texts, scripts, etc.

ThePhan: THEATRE SCRIPTS YAYYYYYYYY

Sam: YAY RINKIES!

10Kan: YAY SAMUEL

* ThePhan is more enthusiastic about theatre scripts than Sam is about Rinkies. Unless an exclamation point equals seven Y's.

Sam: It's worth about eight Y's.

ThePhan: Ah.

ThePhan: That's fine, then.

Sam: Thanks.

Goosey: Hehehe.

ThePhan: So if I want to say, "Yay yay yay yay," can I just say "A a a a!" ?

Sam: That would be equivalent to saying "A a a aYYYYYYYY".

Sam: Which sounds more like you're revving up for a bungee jump than excited about theater scripts.

ThePhan: Oh.

Goosey: LOL

* ThePhan bungee jumps while reading plays.

Grishny: At first glance I thought it might sound like a Mexican bandito riding around in circles shooting his pistols in the air

Sam: A Mexican bandito excited about theater scripts, maybe.

ThePhan: There are surprisingly few theater scripts about Mexican banditos. Maybe they are just excited to be in one.

Sentynel: They should be satisfied with an appearance in Dr McNinja. Riding raptors.

Grishny: A Mexican bandito excited about theater scripts and about to go bungee jumping?

ThePhan: You should probably not shoot your pistol in the air while you're bungee jumping.

Nuts and Crap

Grishny: Oh nuts and crap.

10Kan: Grishny: Worst health cereal ever.

Freud > Sex

ThePhan: Reading the buffer, I will now add: my Shakespeare professor is obsessed with boobs. And sex. And that is all we talk about in that class. It is getting a little annoying.

ThePhan: We're reading, I believe, 14 or 15 plays. I've read all but three.

10Kan: Is Macbeth one? I can't imagine how he could sex that one up.

10Kan: It's all about betrayal, fate, c-sections and women who wish they were men so they can stab people.

Goosey: Women who wish they were men > Freud > sex.

ThePhan: LOL LOL

ThePhan: So I'm reading that as:

ThePhan: "Women who wish they were men are better than Freud, who is better than sex."

Goosey: ARROWS NOT GREATER THANS

BOOBS and Parties

LaZorra: Man, there's a webcomic I really want to link to, but I can't even remember the name of it.

LaZorra: It involved a Middle Eastern character who always wore a bandana on his head and a power symbol shirt. He built a female robot. That's all I can remember.

LaZorra: But there was one strip where he went to a party and was sitting in the corner chatting with his friends online.

LaZorra: These friends cured a dead spell by yelling "BOOBS"

LaZorra: He decided to try to cure the dull party the same way.

LaZorra: All I remember is thinking, "Dude, this is why I'm never invited to parties."

BLUP!

ThePhan: We have a home video where my father's taking the camera on a tour of our house.

ThePhan: In the background, you hear me and my brother. I was five and he was three at the time.

ThePhan: My brother is trying to talk to me, but he is sometimes a slow speaker and I am getting impatient.

ThePhan: So every time he pauses, I say, "BLUP!"

TalkingDog: Teehee.

ThePhan: Which flusters him, so he pauses again.

ThePhan: You hear this exchange a couple times. "And I..." "BLUP!" "And..." "BLUP!" "And..." "BLUP!"

ThePhan: Finally, he says, "Don't say blup!" I respond, "OK, I won't."

ThePhan: He tries again: "And..." "BLUP!"

ThePhan: End segment.

* ThePhan was not a very nice sister.

TalkingDog: Your life sounds like it would make an awesome webcomic sometimes. That is probably a good thing.

Food Like Stuffs

Randy: I need food like stuffs
Maryam: Randy, this is the importance of hyphens. I first parsed your sentence wrong, and it didn't make any sense, so I substituted what "stuff" would be unfiltered, and it still didn't make any sense and it was kinda gross and I was very confused.

National Anthem

Randy: I'm wondering if Christina Agulererra really did mess up the anthem. It seems like she did.

Randy: oooh, she left out the "

Randy: O'er the Ramparts we watched" line.

LaZorra: Dammit, I hate it when singers forget the "

LaZorra: Screws up the whole thing.

LaZorra: ;-)

Randy: LOL

Maryam: Yes, every singer should be properly trained in audible punctuation.

ThePhan: To be fair, it's really hard to sing, "Open quote o'er the Ramparts we watched close quote."

Fight to the Death

ThePhan: Going through my unranked movies on FlickChart, I got this match-up: The Typewriter, the Rifle & the Movie Camera vs. The Steamroller and the Violin.

ThePhan: That is a lot of items.

LaZorra: That is quite the MacGyverish assortment of items.

Randy: LOL

ThePhan: LaZorra: You have been given a typewriter, a rifle, and a movie camera.

ThePhan: Randy: You have been given a steamroller and a violin.

ThePhan: FIGHT TO THE DEATH

Randy: um...

Grishny: That's not a fair fight.

wintermute: Nice.

* Randy tries hitting people with the violin while playing Mozart on the steamroller

* LaZorra journals the unfairness of the match on her typewriter.

* LaZorra shoots typewriter ribbon out of the rifle and films it.

* Randy nearly gets run over

Super Bowl

ThePhan: I have posted two Super Bowl-related things in a row. But I'm only reacting to what I'm seeing on Facebook :-)

ThePhan: The one year I kind of watched it because I happened to be eating in a room where it was, Carrie Underwood sang the anthem and sounded fine.

ThePhan: Er, *where it was being shown

Nyperold: It'd be hard not to watch a football game being played in your house.

goldfishy: "GET OUT THE BATHROOM, I'M IN THE SHOWER!" " Sorry ma'am, this is the 50 yard line - I'm afraid you're going to have to move."

The Person I Want To Be

Goosey: If I were the person I want to be, right now I'd be doing dishes and packing tomorrow's lunch.

wintermute: If I were the person I want to be, right now I'd be driving the Batmobile.

GO DIRECTLY TO BE

LaZorra: GO TO BED

LaZorra: GO DIRECTLY TO BE

LaZorra: DO NOT PASS GO

LaZorra: DO NOT COLLEGE TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS

LaZorra: DO NOT COLLAGE THEM EITHER BECAUSE THAT WILL MAKE THEM WORTHLESS

Randy: College?

Randy: LOL LOL

LaZorra: NOBODY WANTS MONDAY WITH MOD PODGE ON IT

LaZorra: I MEANT MONEY BUG OBIVOUSLY MODANY ISN'T ANY GOOD THAT WAY EITHER

LaZorra: OH BUGGER IT

* Sentynel is, directly, as ordered.

* Sentynel is not entirely sure how to follow the rest of the instructions.

iwpg: LOL LOL LOL

Randy: This is the weirdest set of directions I've ever seen

Sentynel: Hamlet just needed LaZorra around. "To be, or not to be, that is the question-" "GO DIRECTLY TO BE!"

Allergic to No Donuts

Grishny: Now I feel like I'm about to sneeze. I must be allergic. To meetings.

Grishny: At least to terrible ones.

Grishny: With no donuts.

wintermute: Maybe you are allergic to no doughnuts.

Grishny: That could be. I had a donut with my breakfast this morning, and I didn't sneeze until several hours after I finished eating the donut. Maybe having a donut only lasts for an hour or two and then the symptoms of no donuts come back!

Randy: Donuts are truly magical

Grishny: GET THIS MAN A DONUT, STAT!

* LaZorra whacks Randy with a bearclaw!

Grishny: "Nurse, this is the worst case of no donuts I've seen in years."

LaZorra: BREATHE, DAMN YOU

* LaZorra stuffs a Hostess cupcake up Randy's nose.

LaZorra: COME ON, MAN, DON'T LEAVE US NOW

Grishny: =-O That's no donut!!!

LaZorra: STILL SO YOUNG

Randy: heeeeellllppppp

Maryam: This sounds like an Awesome Hospital storyline.

Grishny: PUMP DONUT INTO LUNg

Randy: X-o

* LaZorra opens Randy's jaw and blows a maple longjohn into it.

Randy: mmmm

LaZorra: TWENTY-FIVE CCS OF JELLY DONUT FILLING

Grishny: "Wait... wait, I think he's coming around."

Randy: (I love chocolate with chocolate filling...hint)

LaZorra: I see that. The jelly donut filling was for me.

Grishny: "Jelly donuts are like giant squishy bugs, and when you bite into them all their guts goosh out the other end."

Grishny: That may be a paraphrase.

Randy: Hey, am I alive yet?

* Grishny takes Randy's vitals

* Grishny presents Randy with his vitals

Grishny: "Boy, this paper here says you're alive, fine and dandy, good as candy."

wintermute: Doesn't he need those to live?

Grishny: And you can take that to the bank!

Grishny: Yes, of course he does. That's why I gave them back to him.

Tools

wintermute: Grah. How do you stop autocomplete from popping up in firefox forms, again?

Goosey: Tools

goldfishy: hahaha

Goosey: Options

Goosey: Privacy

goldfishy: Sorry - sounded like Goosey was insulting us