The Most Comfortable Way to Write

Sentynel: https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/482379_10152634343220484_2050995136_n.jpg
Goosey: I think I shall buy them one at a time.
Sam: Wait, why would you want more than one anyway?
Goosey: I DO NOT KNOW lol
Dave: I want to write more than one novel.
Dave: Duh.
Sam: Surely they make software reusable.
Dave: Sam: Clearly this is not. You need a new copy for every novel you intend to write.
Dave: Also, make sure you write your novel laying on the couch on your stomach, with your face precariously perched on your fist while typing one handed.
Sam: I do.
Goosey: While somebody else is making tea in the backgroun
Goosey: d
Dave: I find that's the most comfortable way to write.
Dave: On the couch, in an uncomfortable position, while someone else is banging around in the kitchen.
Goosey: LOL

Palo Alto

* Sentynel makes rude gestures at PulseAudio
Sentynel: Everything works, except for the part where it locks up after five seconds, or alternatively just drops out after about two minutes.
* ThePhan read that as "Palo Alto" for some reason and wasn't sure what they did to deserve it.
Sentynel: Phan: The whole city keeps disappearing a few seconds after I visit.
Sentynel: It's really annoying.
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: I can see that being frustrating.
ThePhan: But probably terrifying for its inhabitants.

World's Cutest/Most Terrifying Frog

wintermute: http://www.itsokaytobesmart.com/post/43448823363/worlds-cutest-frog
Goosey: heeehehehe squeaky
Sentynel: I still think that thing is terrifying.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Sent: You're not alone.
ThePhan: You're not alone because THAT FROG IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU
Sentynel: *screen cuts to black with sound of furious squeaking*

Better Feathers

ThePhan: Two of my married friends have apparently decided having two Facebook accounts was just ridiculous, and they now have one of those accounts where the first name is both their names hyphenated.
* ThePhan is not a fan of when people do that.
Sam: I don't understand why you would.
Sam: Like, maybe I want to talk to one of you and not the other, but now I don't know who I'm gonna reach.
Sam: And what if you're interested in reading different things from your friends? Or maybe you want to read the same things, but now you can't track what you've seen and what you haven't.
Kalimeris: BESIDES, then you don't get to have a cool "married to ________" link on your profile. Relationship status is the best part of facebook!
Kalimeris: THE. BEST. PART. hehehe
ThePhan: Kali: LOL
Goosey: I haven't had a relationship status change since before Facebook was invented.
Goosey: So yeah. I'd vote that there are better feathers
Goosey: *features
ThePhan: LOL, I was trying to figure out what you meant.
Goosey: hehehe
Goosey: FACEBOOK HAD TEH BETS FATHERS
Goosey: *FEATHERS
Goosey: LAZORRA WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME
ThePhan: LOL LOL
ThePhan: The new Facebook spinoff: "Fathers and Feathers."

Kalilike

Kalimeris has left.
ThePhan: KALIMERIS LEFT I FORGOT TO TELL HER I HAD A DREAM ABOUT HER THE OTHER NIGHT
ThePhan: It was a weird one.
Sam: Did she say, "Life ain't nuthin' but big bucks and a big bad bottle of beer!" ?
ThePhan: I found out her real last name was Kalilike. And I started abbreviating her last name to just "Like" because I said I wanted to "like Like" on Facebook all the time. And then I started thinking of all these other things that sound like "like," and just kept saying all these nonsensical sentences at Kali, and she was getting annoyed.
Goosey: LOL LOL
Sam: That doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely.
ThePhan: I also dreamed I invited her to my wedding, but she was living at home, and her mom got the save-the-date, thought Kali was dead for some reason, and forwarded it to a nonexistent United States state (its postal abbreviation was SO) because that's where she thought Kali was buried.
ThePhan: I asked Kali about this, and she was like, "Yeah, my mom does that all the time. It's getting really annoying."
Sam: You used to have catchy dreams.
Sam: "I like to flirt...with dirt."
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: I forgot about flirting with dirt.

The Book of Mormon

Sentynel: Yikes. The Book of Mormon has just opened in London. I had a look, and it's pretty much sold out until June at £50-£100 a ticket.
ThePhan: It was almost equally crazy out here in its first year.
Goosey: LOL I always think of the book instead of the musical, so my initial reaction was "I'm pretty sure one has been opened there before"
ThePhan: LOL
Randy: hehe
ThePhan: It's okay, I *always* think of the musical first.
ThePhan: Which is funny, since the book's been around much longer.
Goosey: Exactly, hehehe
Sentynel: Phan: You mean it wasn't named after the musical? Huh.
ThePhan: But somebody will be like, "The Book of Mormon says..." and I'll be like, "What? No, it doesn't. Oh, wait. They probably mean the actual book."
ThePhan: Sent: LOL
Goosey: LOL!
ThePhan: It's good publicity to rename your religious books after hit musicals. But since Christianity's always just a bit behind the pop culture times, we've just gotten around to renaming the Bible "Cats."
Goosey: LOL!!

Why Would They Let Me Send Message?

ThePhan: Sigh. So on Facebook, if you send a message to a non-friend, it automatically goes to their "other" folder rather than their inbox, to cut down on spam.
ThePhan: Recently FB started offering to let you pay $1 to redirect the message to the inbox instead.
ThePhan: A group of friends on FB are completely freaking out about it.
ThePhan: "Why would they let me send message?"
ThePhan: Guys. It's doing THE EXACT SAME THING IT DID BEFORE. You only have to pay if you want it to do something DIFFERENT.
ThePhan: ...Uh.
ThePhan: I just looked up there and saw that I typed the wonderful sentence: "Why would they let me send message?"
ThePhan: The HECK happened to my English?
ThePhan: *Why won't they let me send a message?
ThePhan: That is what I meant to type.
Sentynel: I assumed that was a baffling quote.

Converting

Sentynel: Actually, I would just like to say that I appreciate the RinkChat-enabled opportunity to have sensible discussions about religion with people who are actually believers. I've always found it kinda fascinating, both in itself and in a social sense, and it's very difficult among the normals to have a sane discussion, recognising the parties' differences.
Sentynel: Without, y'know, people assuming I'm either attacking them or attempting to sign up, neither of which is the case.
ThePhan: WHAT I was only having this conversation with you because I thought you wanted to convert!
Sentynel: LOL
Sentynel: Sorry. I know you guys have a quota.
ThePhan: I guess it's just a conversation and not a convertsation, as we like to call it.
Sentynel: LOL LOL
ThePhan: (Rest assured, nobody likes to call it that.)

! Visitors

Sam: I don't understand how people can process web statistics usefully.
Sam: Every time I think they tell me something, I later decide it was just statistical noise.
Sam: I'm fairly certain, after studying yesterday's traffic stats carefully, that there were some numbers.
Sam: The number of ads I served was a number, as were the counts of page loads and unique visitors.
Sam: Not that past performance is indicative of future returns, but the way things are going I am reasonably confident that the page impression count for today will also turn out to be a number.
Dave: Sam: Don't be hasty. It could be a letter. Or even a symbol.
Dave: You might get } visitors today.
wintermute: Nah, it won't be more than :.
Dave: Imagine if you got ! visitors!
Sam: Rule!
wintermute: !
Sentynel: You could get i visitors.
Sam: Someday I might even get 1111111!!! visitors.
Sam: Or !!!!!!!!!!!11

The Phantom of the Opera: The Rom Com

ThePhan: ...Flickchart had The Phantom of the Opera listed as a romantic comedy.
Goosey: ...
ThePhan: I have alerted them so hopefully that will be fixed soon.
ThePhan: What a weird categorization.
Goosey: indeed
Ticia: Phan: No, it's hilarious.
Ticia: My favorite scene is when the Phantom gets the girl after the long, introspective flashback scenes of their relationship, while they're standing in the rain.
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: And then they kiss, and *sniff* it's just so sweet.
ThePhan: LOL
Randy: LOL
Randy: ITS A CLASSIC AND I GIVE IT A.......
Ticia: I really thought Christine was going to get on that plane, but the Phantom came and declared his love for her, and then ripped off his mask and was all "I don't care if people see me as I am. Because what I AM is in LOVE with a beautiful girl!"
Ticia: Made me cry.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: SIGH
Goosey: sigh?
Sentynel: After staging a miraculous partial recovery right before the engineer showed up, and then returning to pretty much full capacity after the engineer tinkered a little, my internet connection speed has crashed and burned again.
ThePhan: Sentynel is also sighing over the beauty of the Phantom and Christine's love story.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Oh. Or that.
Sentynel: That too, of course.

Drinking Hot Chocolate

Dave: http://visual.ly/how-walk-ice
Goosey: Nice. A video would be helpful though
Goosey: But that's kind of how I do it -- toes first, leaning forward a bit. Seems to do the job.
Kalimeris: I do the toe thing! I also have ice cleats, which work pretty okay.
Dave: I don't go outside when it's icy.
Dave: Problem SOLVED.
Kalimeris: If you don't go outside you can drink hot chocolate.
Kalimeris: I think that is also a winning scenario.
Kalimeris: I guess you can drink it outside too. But. Meh.
Sam: DRINK IT OUTSIDE
Kalimeris: I WILL NOT.
Kalimeris: I WILL DRINK IT INSIDE AND WATCH CARTOONS THANK YOU.
Goosey: LOL
Kalimeris: :-)
Kalimeris: I suppose one could stand outside by a window and watch cartoons from outside while drinking the hot cocoa.
Kalimeris: Hrm. So many options.
Kalimeris: hehehe
ThePhan: I like to stand outside other people's homes drinking hot chocolate and watching their TV through the window.
ThePhan: That is how I make friends.

The Maids

Dave: Things I have started saying to myself: "Oops, I dripped some fat on the counter getting my steak out of the grill. Oh, that's ok. THE MAIDS come soon."
Maryam: LOL
Goosey: LOL
Randy: lol
Sam: Dave: LOL
Sam: Question: Have you hired maid service? Your answer will determine exactly how funny that is.
Dave: Yes, I have.
Dave: Molly Maids comes twice a month.
Sam: I kind of wish you'd said no. Because then it would have been even funnier. In that sort of Garfield-Minus-Garfield would-be-creepy-except-that-it's-wholly-unthreatening way.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: Jon: "Oops, I dripped some fat on the counter getting my steak out of the grill. Oh, that's ok. THE MAIDS come soon." // Second panel: (blank) // Third panel: (blank) // By Jim Davis

Who Should Use Coat Racks

ThePhan: Textbroker is a fun side-money-maker, but it's always awkward trying to fit ads for tires in the middle of "Top 10 Nicolas Cage Movies" lists...
Sentynel: LOL
Sentynel: That sounds like it'd be a bit of a non-sequiteur, yes.
ThePhan: And the instructions are all like, "Make sure the keywords fit in naturally."
ThePhan: NO SUCH POSSIBILITY EXISTS
Sentynel: LOL
Nyperold: Somewhere near Drive Angry?
Nyperold: Which probably tells you I haven't read the list...
ThePhan: OK, and now there are a whole bunch of articles with these instructions: "Please write an informative, detailed and interesting description concerning the subject of the title. What is it? How is it used? Who should use it? When to use it? And why? How does it compare to other similar products? What to look for when buying one? What are the benefits?"
ThePhan: These articles are titled things like "Coat Racks," "Briefcases," and "Children's Bookcases."
ThePhan: I'm not sure I can summon up 200 words to tell you who should use coat racks.
Goosey: LOL
Nyperold: "People with coats" too laconic for them?
Sentynel: People who aspire to large coat collections, but do not currently have anywhere to put them.
Nyperold: People who want to get information out of coats, but do not currently own suitable torture devices.
Sentynel: A common problem.