Lord of the Dum-Dums

LaZorra: I bought 270 Dum-Dums for $10. O.o

LaZorra: HOW CAN YOU EVEN MAKE THINGS THAT CHEAPLY

TalkingDog: DUMDUMZ

TalkingDog: With awesome sauce.

Goosey: That's, what? 3 cents a lollipop?

* ThePhan is going to go get some Dum-Dums from LaZorra right now, since it seems she can spare a few.

LaZorra: MINE

LaZorra: MY DUMDUMS

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: MY PRECIOUSSSSSSS

Goosey: LOL LOL

Goosey: LaZ: Now I want someone to take a picture of you crouched all Gollum-like over your bag of dumdums.

LaZorra: Goosey: LOL LOL

ThePhan: Frodo must take the one Dum Dum to rule them all to Mordor, and throw it into the fires of Mount Doom.

ThePhan: That's my NaNo this year. Right there.

LaZorra: TP: LOL

Goosey: LOL LOL

Goosey: DO IT

LaZorra: That would be awesome. Candyland meets LOTR.

LaZorra: Instead of orcs, Sauron has giant hideous gingerbread men.

Goosey: Lorien is populated by Keebler Elves.

ThePhan: I also really like the image of Bilbo finding a Dum-Dum in Gollum's lair and just taking it. Because if you find a tiny lollipop in a creepy dark cave, THAT'S something you'll want to eat. Or just hold onto for years.

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: LOL

ThePhan: And what would constitute "wearing" it? At Bilbo's birthday party, does he just casually unwrap this Dum-Dum and put it in his mouth so he can disappear? And if that's the case, wouldn't it be down to almost nothing by the end of the story?

Nyperold: Each bite makes you invisible for as long as the plot requires?

Nyperold: Or lick?

LaZorra: ewwwwwwwwwwewewewewewewGROSS

* ThePhan does not overthink anything, what are you talking about?

LaZorra: I do like the idea of Gandalf trying to convince Bilbo to take the DumDum out of his mouth after the party and Bilbo stubbornly refusing.

LaZorra: Or Frodo, toward the end of the book, compulsively sticking it in his mouth against his own will.

ThePhan: LOL LOL

Nyperold: But makes you visible to Dum-Dum Wraiths?

Maryam: But how does Gollum bite it off?

LaZorra: Aragorn would be one of the Dumedain.

LaZorra: Maryam: Maybe he bites through the stick?

Maryam: Does he just, like, chomp Frodo's whole lower face?

LaZorra: LOL LOL LOL

ThePhan: Maryam beat. Gollum's finger-biting-off scene just got really disgusting.

Maryam: "And he was thereafter known as Frodo Half-face."

* LaZorra falls over laughing.

ThePhan: And thus was born the Phantom of the Opera.

Nyperold: Frodo offering it to Galadriel...

LaZorra: ONE DUM-DUM TO RULE THEM ALL

ThePhan: Faramir doesn't reject ownership of the Dum-Dum for any moral decision. He's just germaphobic.

LaZorra: Boromir, on the other hand, has an oral fixation.

Nyperold: And Tom Bombadil just doesn't think much of it.

Goosey: LOL

Goosey: Please tell me someone is transcribing this

* ThePhan is.

Maryam: You know, the ring fixation would suddenly make a lot more sense if it were a lollipop that was, say, laced with crack.

ThePhan: LOL

Goosey: LOL

LaZorra: Maryam: LOL

ThePhan: Sauron is an evil drug lord.

LaZorra: YES

LaZorra: Saruman makes his coke for him.

Maryam: Hobbit pipeweed is the gateway drug.

LaZorra: But he's secretly running stuff of his own, too.

LaZorra: LOL

Nyperold: So are the other "rings" things like Blow Pops?

Maryam: And the underground orc forgeries are meth labs.

Maryam: Forges.

Maryam: Whatever the word is.

LaZorra: ORC FORGERIES

LaZorra: THEY'RE INTO MONEY LAUNDERING TOO

* ThePhan didn't even catch that until Maryam mentioned it. Heh.

Maryam: LOL

* LaZorra either.

Sharing a Birth Mom

ThePhan: It's my grandmother's birthday. How did I go so long without knowing we shared a birth month? Heh.

Goosey: lol

ThePhan: I mean it's not like we've ever celebrated our birthdays with each other or anything, but still.

Kysle: I'm glad you don't share a birth mom, which is how I first read that.

ThePhan: That would be so confusing.

Kysle: It is making my head hurt, thinking about how that could work.

ThePhan: Kysle: Well, it could mean my mom had given birth to my grandmother, and then two generations later, my father married my mom. And she was still having babies. And she had me. And seven more.

[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'ThePhan's mother is Connor MacLeod!' by wintermute.

ThePhan: Hehe

Sentynel: There have been instances of people's biological parents carrying their children's children through IVF because their children can't carry their own kids.

Sentynel: That sentence is REALLY difficult to parse.

ThePhan: Sentynel: Heh. I knew what you meant. There's an extra generation in there in this case, though, which makes it funkier. My mom becomes my great-grandmother.

Sentynel: Yeah, I think that's pushing the bounds of biological plausibility just a little.

Kysle: TP: But your grandmother has to give birth to your mom who has to give birth to her. The only way to do that is time travel. (assuming it's your maternal grandmother?)

ThePhan: Kysle: Actually, she's my grandmother on my dad's side, so it works out well.

Kysle: Ahh

ThePhan: Well, as well as can be expected.

Kysle: Hehe

goldfishy: What worries me is you're all figuring out how to make this work...

Kysle: Hey, you never know when it might come in handy to have already thought about it.

Kysle: Maybe it'll be a question on a game show and you only have 10 seconds to answer!

ThePhan: LOL

ThePhan: "For $1,000,000, how could you and your grandmother have the same birth mom? GO!"