Dying Today

ThePhan: Hmm. I appear to have an itchy rash on my wrist. Probably I'm going to die.
Sentynel: Phan: It sounds like you've been checking WebMD.
TalkingDog: Itchywristrastuffis is dangerous. Especially if you wear an Irish wristwatch.
ThePhan: LOL to both Sent and TD.
TalkingDog: *Itchywristrash-itis
ThePhan: Oh. Hmm. I wonder if I was just lying on my wrist weirdly.
ThePhan: There appears to be a fingernail print in it, like I was inadvertently pressing the nails of one hand into the wrist of the other.
ThePhan: That would also explain how red it was. And its being itchy could just be a coincidence.
ThePhan: Looks like I won't be dying here today, folks.
Goosey: Yay not dying!
wintermute: Phan: To be fair, your heart could always explode unexpectedly.
wintermute: Or a bus could crash into your house.
ThePhan: True!
wintermute: In conclusion, you have a 85% chance of dying today.
ThePhan: ...That is a higher chance than I would have suspected.
Goosey: LOL
wintermute: I might have made a small error in the maths.