WHO PAY!

Ticia: Don is taking all the kids to work with him. PARTY TIME
ThePhan: WHO PAY!
ThePhan: Hey.
Ticia: Who?
Goosey: "who pay"?
ThePhan: Um.
Goosey: "Whoopee"?
Ticia: The role of LaZorra will be played by ThePhan today.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Ok, so if I turn my phone screen sideways so I can read stuff without scrolling, it doesn't let me see or correct what autocorrect puts in
Goosey: hahaha oops
ThePhan: I thought I'd at least be able to look at it before it sends, but nope.
Ticia: Haha
ThePhan: This leads to some very confusing sentences.
ThePhan: Antigua that one turned out all right.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: *Although
Ticia: HAH

Echidna Enchiladas

Ticia: Spicy enchilada = drained sinuses. Woo!
Ticia: Haha
Ticia: I'm sure you all wanted to know that.
Maryam: LOL
Maryam: :-.
Ticia: Oh, well, at least I don't overshare on facebook. Only rinkchat.
iwpg: I repeatedly read that as "spiny".
iwpg: Maybe I was thinking of echidnas or something.
Ticia: hehe
ThePhan: Echidna enchilada is like a tongue twister for the eyes. I keep looking at it and my brain tells me it's just the same word twice.
Ticia: That would probably not be a very yummy enchilada.
Ticia: Or a good way to clear your sinuses. Ouch

The Hawk on the Ceiling

ThePhan: Ha, so. Sleep story from last night.
Goosey: Yay sleep story!
ThePhan: Apparently Jacob does this thing where he dreams about something, half-wakes up, and thinks he sees it in the room.
ThePhan: Anyway, he woke me up last night and said, "Um. OK. OK, there might be a hawk on the ceiling."
ThePhan: I said, "What?"
Ticia: LOL
ThePhan: He responded, "Well, I might have dreamed it. But I swear there was a hawk up there. And I can't find the light."
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: I said, "Well, I don't see a hawk on the ceiling." (I couldn't see anything because it was dark, but I figured if he was mostly asleep he wouldn't work out that logic.)
ThePhan: So he said, "OK. Sorry I woke you up," and went back to sleep.
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: haha, that is awesome.
ThePhan: This morning, he said, "Sorry about last night. I dreamed there was a giant lizard by the door."
ThePhan: And I said, "...You weren't talking about a lizard."
ThePhan: So I explained about the hawk and he said, "OH YEAH! I dreamed about BOTH, but I was pretty sure the hawk was a dream, and I thought that the lizard might be real."
Maryam: LOL!
Goosey: hahahahaha
Sentynel: That's the best logic ever.
ThePhan: Sharing a bed with him forever is going to yield so many fun stories. LOL.

Sleep Talkers

ThePhan: I have been discovering that Jacob is a sleep talker.
ThePhan: Last night, as I was falling asleep, he suddenly said, "Well, as you can see, we're going to need lots and lots of... what word did I say? Dog piles?"
ThePhan: I said, "...Are you talking to me?"
Ticia: Haha!
ThePhan: He responded, "Well, if I am, I don't remember it. Yes."
Ticia: LOL
ThePhan: So I laughed a bunch and then went back to sleep.
Ticia: Don and I were talking the other night about how it was okay for me to wear his shirts, but it's not okay (sociatally speaking) for him to wear my clothes. Suddenly, he said "Except for those skirts I wore..... wait, what?" because he'd fallen asleep and dreamed about what we'd been talking about between one sentence and the next.
Ticia: I laughed and laughed.
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: That is so funny.
Ticia: Sleep talkers are very entertaining.
ThePhan: They are.
ThePhan: My sister Elizabeth is an occasional sleep talker.
Ticia: Hehe
ThePhan: Ha, my favorite example was on our car ride out for the wedding, though - everybody but Mom was napping in the car, and suddenly Elizabeth woke me up singing along with a song very loudly.
ThePhan: Like half an hour later, she asked me if that song played yet because she wanted to listen to it.
ThePhan: Turns out she was like... sleep belting.

Cowboy Stripper

MSB: Oooooh I'm planning LaZorra's bachelorette party
MSB: any Rinkie tips?
geneva: Scavenger hunt!
Maryam: Go through the typos for ideas.
Goosey: Cupcakes! and Noodly glop! and play charades and watch Sinbad of the Seven Seas and read typos out loud!
Maryam: Yes, Sinbad!!
Goosey: and have an eyebrow-wiggling party!
ThePhan: HAHA SINBAD WOULD BE THE BEST BACHELORETTE PARTY EVER
geneva: hahahaha Sinbad was on the TV the other day and I just about died laughing, Brent was so confused
Maryam: You should have Sinbad-themed cupcakes.
Maryam: From one of those fancy cake places.
Ticia: Cowboy stripper?
Randy: LOL LOL
Goosey: LOL LOL
MSB: her mom will be there, lol.
Randy: Then definite on the Cowboy Stripper?
Goosey: Okay, another drawer cleaned out!
Goosey: This drawer shall be for . . .
Ticia: Two Cowboy Strippers, then?
Goosey: Dice and stationery and art supplies?
Goosey: yes, those things
geneva: Ticia, I dont think TWO cowboy strippers would fit in a drawer ;)
ThePhan: geneva: LOL LOL
Randy: I was gonna say those two sentences fit together.
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
geneva: teehee XD I miss you guys
Maryam: I like the thought of being able to store away cowboy strippers in a drawer, for whenever you want to pull them out.
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: that could be embarassing.
Randy: That would be a good comic to draw.
Goosey: "Can I borrow a pen?" "Sure, over there in the drawer -- NOT THAT DRAWER!" "YEEEEEHAW!!"
Maryam: Goosey: LOL LOL
Maryam: The YEEHAW at the end got me.
MSB: "Hey there lil' lady, I've got a pen for you, right here"
geneva: LOL Goosey
Goosey: :D
Randy: LOL
Maryam: oh goodness you guys are hilarious
geneva: Why does that drawer have a padlock???
ThePhan: Goosey: LOL LOL
* ThePhan is laughing so hard right now.
Maryam: Randy: What are you watching?
Goosey: LAZORRA WAKE UP WE ARE DISCUSSING YOUR DRAWERS
Goosey: ...
Maryam: Goosey: ahaha

Candy In His Mouth

Ticia: haha, Thomas just came down with candy in his mouth. Rose gave it to him to get him out of her room.
Goosey: lol
Sam: I read "haha, Thomas just came down with..." and assumed it was some sort of illness. The rest of the sentence sounded like it was a very pleasant illness.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Nyperold: Tastiest affliction ever.
Sam: Then I read the second sentence and thought, wow, what a gifted but vindictive girl. "OUT OF MY ROOM, OR SUFFER INFECTION."
Ticia: LOL
Ticia: That's her super power.
Sentynel: She fights crime.

Activitires

LaZorra has entered.
LaZorra: i came in to see if phan is ready to elope to utah with me
ThePhan: LOL
* ThePhan elopes to Utah. elopeelopeelope
ThePhan: Which is, unfortunately, pronounced "elo pee, lo pee, lope."
ThePhan: I *would* elope to Utah, but we have a deposit on the Ohio building and all...
Randy: elopeelopeelopeelope
* Randy sings it like the Lone Ranger theme
Ticia: LOL
LaZorra: Phan: I do not want to do anything that involves peeing. Not even with you in Utah.
LaZorra: I mean, I consider my friends close, but there's a line, you know?
ThePhan: Well, then you're just going to have to sit out for a large portion of our reception.
Randy: Don't all you girls always go to the bathroom in groups anyways?
Sam: LAZORRA NEVER PEES! NEVER!
LaZorra: I NEVER GO TO THE BATHROOM
LaZorra: WHAT SAM SAID
Sam: Unless it's for a good cause. http://www.rinkworks.com/comics/?c=19
LaZorra: Phan: I did not see bathroom activitires noted on the invitation...
ThePhan: LZ: It's mostly a surprise.
ThePhan: "Activitires"?
ThePhan: Tires that can only be activated in the bathroom.
* Sam HUGS LaZorra!
LaZorra: Maybe those are special toilets with tired on them.
* LaZorra HUGS Sam!
LaZorra: Sam: LOL LOL
Randy: LOL
LaZorra: *tired
LaZorra: Toilets with tired on them would perhaps be stalls in which people took naps.
Randy: Been there...
ThePhan: Toilets with tired and tires on them are my wedding favors.
ThePhan: Stalls to nap in... on wheels.
LaZorra: Dude. Best favors EVAR.

The Ability to Impregnate

(In the middle of a discussion about the Merida makeover. Ticia was discussing it with someone online.)

Ticia: The idiot responded to me.
Ticia: "I'm not complaining about strong women; I'm complaining about turning traditional female characters into something they were not for the sake of modern feminism (which isn't very feminine). How's your upper body strength? Let me know when you get another woman pregnant."
Ticia: OH, I'm sorry, am I not being FEMININE ENOUGH FOR YOU
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Ticia: And I don't even get the pregnant part of his comment.
ThePhan: That response is ridiculous
Sam: Er, LOL? What?
Ticia: I guess the ability to impregnate a woman how we're judging strength and awesomeness, now.
Ticia: *is how
Maryam: You can't be strong without being manly? Apparently?
Goosey: that's hilarious
ThePhan: I thought maybe he was implying that upper body strength is directly connected to the ability to impregnate.
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: Just tell him "Let me know when you push another human being out through your privates, then we'll talk about strength."
Ticia: LOL
Sam: And as we all know, the ability to impregnate is directly correlated with how good you are with a bow.
Ticia: Ha!
ThePhan: Robin Hood could impregnate women just by looking at them.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Every single person in England right now is one of his descendants.
* Ticia cries from laughing so hard.
.
.
.
Sentynel: Phan: He's my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.
Sentynel: And it took me that long to make that joke because I was looking up when Robin Hood was set and working out how many generations that would be.
ThePhan: Sent: LOL
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Of course you were.
Ticia: LOL
Sentynel: ^_^

RinkWorks on TVTropes

Ticia: check out the quote at the top of this page http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AerithAndBob
iwpg: Nice.
Dave: SEEN IT
Dave: UR LATE TICIA
Dave: HA HA BURN
Dave: No seriously, that's awesome.
Ticia: lol
Ticia: I'm slowly ready through that reddit thread you posted early, Dave.
Dave: Let me guess, you found that on the reddit thread about things you hate in fantasy books?
Dave: Because that's where I found it. :-)
Dave: AND IT RULED
Dave: I was like "HEY TVTROPES I'M FAMOUS"
Ticia: lol!
Ticia: Yea
Sam: How come everybody's posting that link now? Oh, it's on reddit?
Sam: Because that's been there for years.
Sam: And rules.
Dave: THANKS FOR NOT TELLING ME FOR YEARS
Sam: Dave: It's been talked about a lot in RinkChat. What are the odds if I go back in the logs I'll find me telling you about it?
Sam: I don't know for a fact that I did, but you have to admit, it's a very distinct possibility.
Dave: Sam: ZERO ODDS U NEVAR TOLD ME
Dave: And if you say you did, you lie.
Dave: I have no proof you didn't just insert that into the logs somewhere then claim to find it just now.
Dave: I ADMIT NOTHING
Ticia: lol
Goosey: LOL
Sam: Hang on, I'm typ--finding it now.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: Sam: Hey Dave, I see the Fantasy Novelist's Exam is quoted on tvtropes. // Dave: Why yes, I see that the Fantasy Novelist's Exam is quoted on tvtropes. // Sam: I bet in approximately three years you will forget I told you this, ha ha. // Dave Yes, I also bet I will forget about this too, ha ha.
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: Looks legit to me.
Dave: WHOA
Dave: That is so incredibly specific, it couldn't POSSIBLY be a fabrication!
ThePhan: LOL
iwpg: LOL

Corporate Speak

Sentynel: Somebody was complaining about a different stake-related saying at work today - "stakeholders", as an irritating bit of corporate speak.
Sentynel: He proposed we replace all uses of "stakeholders" with "van helsings".
Sam: Are stakeholders not just stockholders?
Sentynel: Sam: As in "stakeholders in this decision" or whatever.
Sam: That's awful.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: As a general term for people who are interested in and/or affected by something.
Sentynel: We have a page on the internal wiki which functions as a dictionary for awful corporate speak. It has a good couple of hundred entries at the moment, of varying levels of stupidity.
Sam: I hope you leverage synergies to maintain it.
Sam: ...on a going forward basis.
Sentynel: Sam: "synergies" isn't on the list, which means nobody's caught it being used, which is nice.
Goosey: Sam: Don't forget you have a paradigm in there somewhere.
Sentynel: "Leverage" and "going forward" both are, though.
Sentynel: "Paradigm" is too.
Sam: "Going forward" is mid-level stupidity, but it escalates to high-level stupidity if it modifies "basis."
Sam: I don't mind "paradigm" so much, though, because at least in my experience that's what the word actually means.
Sentynel: Other items that particularly annoy me: "upskilling", meaning "training"; "in slower time" and "in quicker time" meaning "later" and "sooner"; and "touch base" meaning "talk to" (though this one has the advantage that if somebody uses it four times in a meeting, you get to shout "home run!" at them).
Sentynel: And probably a bunch more that are currently escaping me.
Maryam: 'Going forward' is only mid-level? It sounds utterly meaningless to me.
Maryam: LOL at home run.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: "Going forward, we're going to route customer service calls through this new tool." That's not terrible, just kind of clumsy. But "We're going route customer service calls through this tool on a going forward basis." is retarded.
Sentynel: Maryam: You clearly haven't encountered the refined upper echelons of idiotic corporate speak...
Maryam: Sent: This is true.
TalkingDog: Does the meaning change if you leave "going forward" out entirely?
Maryam: So it means 'from this point in time on'? I guess there's some meaning there then.
Sam: TD: Not particularly.
Sam: But similar phrases are used in every day English. "From now on" means the same thing, is probably superfluous about as often, but doesn't make me want to punch anybody.
Sam: I have thankfully never encountered "upskilling" or "in slower time". Those are horrible.
Sam: Those terms clearly call for extended variations. Tomorrow, right before the lunch break, you should announce that you're gonna go upnourish.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: The best comment on the whole page, though, is when somebody commented that a particular item ("space", I think) had probably been pilfered from mathematical vocabulary, where it has various particular, defined meanings. Somebody commented that words with multiple precise meanings seemed to be common in maths. And the reply was the following gem:
Sentynel: "Mathematicians have a lot of meaning and a shortage of words, so they have to share multiple meanings across some words. Management have a lot of words and a shortage of meaning, so they have to share the same meaning out across multiple words."
Goosey: Sent: nice!
Maryam: Snrk.
Sam: LOL LOL
Sam: Thanks for upfunning the chat room, Sentynel.
Sam: ...That sounds unpleasant and probably obscene. I should think about up puns in slower time on a going forward basis.
Sentynel: You mean, "you value my contribution to the delivery of the overarching goal of upfunning the stand-up discussion space".
Sentynel: I'm going to go and shoot myself now.
Sam: LOL
Sam: Upskill.
Sam: Ugh, I wanna punch something.
Sentynel: Oh, you know what else I just remembered?
Sentynel: "disbenefit".
Sam: Some of the corporate terms are awful and yet don't have especially obvious or fluid natural alternatives. But, look, the word is TRAIN. You TRAIN people. SIMPLE.
Goosey: LOL
TalkingDog: I wonder if people don't want to be thought of as trained animals.
TalkingDog: Not that that excuses such a goofy word.
Sam: "Core competencies" is one I don't mind so much just because what it means doesn't have a particularly easy alternative. You can say "What we're good at," but that's harder to drop into whatever arbitrary sentence you might be saying, and "primary strengths" is somewhat more vague and not much less corporatey.
TalkingDog: "Main stats"
Sentynel: My manager's manager pointed out that if you're being trained, it implies the responsibility is on other people to train you right. But if you're upskilling, then it's your problem.
Nyperold: I should contribute to the delivery of the goal of upcleaning the moisture removal cloths.
Goosey: TD: lol
Sam: And "paradigm," as I said earlier. It's corporatey, but it also actually means something.
Sentynel: Sam: I hate "core competencies" primarily because it's meaningless bullstuff that I'm assessed on, rather than how well I'm doing my ACTUAL JOB.
TalkingDog: It'd be fun if corporate speak was replaced by gamer speak.
Sentynel: The word itself isn't particularly bad.
Goosey: TD: YES
Sentynel: Words.
Sam: Sent: I'm gonna email you my credit card number. Please book me a flight to London and arrange for a rental car and lodging near your place of work. I'll come over on a weekend, kick your manager's manager square in the privates, and fly back.
Sentynel: Sam: To be fair to the guy, he was pointing this out as a criticism of the word.
Sam: Oh.
Goosey: lol
Sam: I guess he may continue to father children then.
Sentynel: He's a decent guy, actually. But feel free to come over and kick all the people who use this sort of thing seriously.
Sam: Okay!
TalkingDog: "Upraise futurelings"
* TalkingDog is just making up words now.
Sentynel: TD: SO ARE THEY
TalkingDog: True enough.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: TD: To increase our company's rep, it is important to kite noobs rather than tank-and-spanking them.
TalkingDog: hehehe
Ticia has left.
Sam: Aww, Ticia proceded on a leaving basis.
Counterpoint: RinkChat plugin.
Sam: LOL
Sam: It could just be one of the language translations for RC.
Goosey: Sam: You misarranged the alphabetical symbolism of that word on an accidental basis, didn't you?
Sam: "Sam has conceived the chat room's mission statement to be...."
Sam: Goosey: possibly?
TalkingDog: That would rule.
Goosey: *proceeded?
Sentynel: You know what bothers me? When we're deliberately trying to produce the most ridiculous corporate speak possible... IT STILL SOUNDS LESS STUPID THAN EXAMPLES OF THE REAL THING.
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL
Sam: Huh. Why yes. Yes I did misarrange the alphabetical symbolism of that word on an accidental basis.
Ticia has entered.
Ticia: Managers need to update their verbiage periodically so that they are still relevant in a burgeoning workforce.
Sentynel: It's not a workforce any more, it's a resource.
Ticia: Dang
Sam: Sentynel, I believe it's asynchronous with our relational competencies to use the word "stupid" like that. Going forward, perhaps a paradigmatic shift to the word "downsmarting" would be less of a disbenefit.
Counterpoint: I just watch The Apartment recently. "On an accidental basis"/accidentally reminds me of how all the corporatespeak there made pseudoadverbs with -wise. Accidentwise.
Ticia: Why are they still called "Managers" that term is so archaic.
Ticia: *?
Sam: I do feel significantly downsmarted from when this conversation began.
Ticia: You need to uplearn some skillosities.
Sam: Sentynel.
Sam: Seriously, UPSKILLING?
Goosey: Sam: I am feeling upwardly sympathetic for you, downsmarted predicamentwise.
Sam: I just triple-took on that.
Sentynel: Clearly, the goal of upsmarting the team is a deferred success.
Sam: UPSKILLING?!?
Sentynel: Sam: Seriously. I know.
Maryam: Does 'deferred success' mean 'failure'?
Sam: I've been to some terrible corporate meetings before, but I don't think I've ever heard anything THAT terrible. Maybe we just use different terrible words.
Maryam: What happens to success deferred? Does it dry up, like a raisin in the sun?
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: You mean, "does it unmoisture, like an exgrape in the --" never mind. I can't do it.
Sentynel: Maryam: The approximate translation is "we screwed up big time, but if you give us twice as much money and some more people we think we can rescue it."
Ticia: Don says "So, you're not drinking, you're downsloshing."
Sam: Or is it upsloshing?
Sam: With that one it's hard to tell.
* Nyperold is returning on a coming back basis.
Sam: I'm kind of surprised "hiring" hasn't become "upsizing" yet. (Or has it?) That's kind of a giveaway that political correctness is as much a factor here as the egos of managers trying to sound smart.
Sam: We hire people and...downsize.
TalkingDog: Isn't it "rightsizing" now or something?
Ticia: We're upsizing our resources.
Maryam: TD: I was about to ask the same thing.
Sam: Rightsizing could go either way.
Sentynel: Sam: Argh, there was a really stupid word for hiring on the list. It wasn't upsizing, but I can't remember what it was.
TalkingDog: Hmm. Upstaffing?
Sam: Something about growing?
Ticia: We need to proactively envisioneer parallel interfaces.
Sam: I don't get how some people can use these terms with a straight face.
Ticia: http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html?bullstuff=you%27re+fired
Sam: I couldn't possibly, even if so directed.
Ticia: that got filtered. lol
TalkingDog: I think I've also heard "brightsizing".
Sam: hahaha
Ticia: replace the word "Stuff" with the relevant curse word.
Goosey: We need to conveniently whiteboard high-quality strategic theme areas
TalkingDog: I don't remember what it was meant to mean exactly. And it may have been a Dilbert comic.
Goosey: Ticia: The url still worked for me
Ticia: oh, good. lol
Goosey: WhizManager: quickly mesh interactive expertise!
Sentynel: Goosey: YES
Ticia: LOL
Sam: Goosey: You are upsized!
Goosey: WM: quickly mesh interactive expertise~
Ticia: I sense a new bot.
Goosey: *monotonectally brand an expanded array of paradigms
Goosey: Sam: Yay!
iwpg: LOL
Goosey: Somebody PLEASE actually make that bot
Goosey: We have InsultBot, why not ManagerBot? They could have meetings together!
Sentynel: Ticia's link reminds me of another one - 24x7x365. Meaning "constantly". This is stupid on so many levels.
Goosey: Sent: Uh.
Sam: Surely corporate speak is too complex and nuanced to be accurately simulated by a computer program.
Maryam: Sent: Wait what?
Maryam: That's terrible.
iwpg: Obviously it means 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 weeks a heptayear.
Goosey: Sam: Ticia's link does it
Maryam: iwpg: hahaha
Sam: I've heard 24-7, but not anything beyond that.
Goosey: It intrinsicly simplifies tactical infomediaries
Sentynel: I'm pretty sure you could just stick the word lists on Ticia's link into the existing Whiz code and you'd be pretty much sorted.
Sam: Yes.
Sentynel: HINT HINT
Goosey: DO IT SMA
Ticia: lol
Sam: I admit it falls within the parameters of my core competencies, but I have to leverage my time in faster time.

Pregnancy Test

Sentynel: Okay, wow. The standard pregnancy test in the ~1950s was the following: 1) Take urine sample. 2) Inject said sample into a toad. 3) Observe toad for 24 hours. 4) If toad lays eggs, test is positive.
Sentynel: (Female toad, obviously.)
Ticia: lol
Goosey: lol
* Nyperold blinks.
Ticia: I wonder how long it took them to figure out that didn't work.
Sentynel: Oh, it worked.
Sentynel: It was phased out when we developed direct chemical tests for the antigens involved.
Ticia: ... seriously?
Sentynel: Yup.
Ticia: lol, okay then.
Sentynel: It was an improvement on previous tests, which used mice or rabbits, as the animal had to be killed and dissected so the ovaries could be examined.
Sentynel: The toad survived and could be used repeatedly.
Ticia: Poor toad.
LaZorra: ...
LaZorra: My brain wants to make some really bizarre parallel to kissing toads.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: LaZ: If you kiss a toad and it turns into a prince, you're pregnant? I think that's the wrong way around.

Marriage Is Work

ThePhan: Heh. One of my friends is, I think, really concerned that I don't understand how much work marriage is or something. She keeps telling me and I keep being like, "Yeah, but we'll be good," and she's like, "No, it's really difficult sometimes," and I'm like, "I know," and she's like, "You'll have to work really hard to make it work," and I'm like, "I THINK WE WILL BE OKAY."
ThePhan: People spouting marriage advice at me is weird. People freaking out that I'm not taking them seriously is weirder.
Randy: Maybe she should learn when to stop? hehe
ThePhan: I think she's just concerned because I suspect *she* went into her marriage not expecting work, and so she's trying to make sure I avoid that.
Ticia: Maybe she is expecting you to come to your senses and call off the wedding? "Oh, you are right, I hadn't thought about how much WORK it would be before I said yes! I shall renounce my marriage and move to a nunnery right away!"
Randy: GET THEE TO A NUNNERY
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: But even the kinds of stuff she's telling me we need to do is totally different, because she is nothing like either me or Jacob. She's super high-maintenance, and she's very different from her husband.
ThePhan: So her advice is things like, "I bet you guys have trouble communicating because you just don't understand each other," and that's really not the case.
Sentynel: CANCEL ALL RELATIONSHIPS IMMEDIATELY
Sentynel: TURNS OUT PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED
Ticia: Hah!
ThePhan: LOL
Maryam: LOL
Sam: Phan: People are really weird. My advice is to just be polite and smile and nod and also to remember that marriage is work, like, I mean, you really have to work at it a lot all the time and it's hard work too.
ThePhan: Or, "Sometimes you're going to have to learn to leave each other alone," and I'm like WE ARE BOTH INTROVERTS. This is not a concept we are unclear on.
ThePhan: Sam: LOL, thanks.
Sam: NO PROBLEM.
Sam: i MEAN, THERE IS A PROBLEM.
Sam: IT TAKES WOOORRRRRK, I TELL YOU.
Ticia: No, marriage is sunshine and roses.
Sam: I agree with that. It's million degree heat and flowers that die in a couple days.
Sam: I kid, of course.
Sam: No, marriage is actually WROK. It's an adventure game where every option is "Be weird."

(We talked seriously for a little bit about legitimate things to worry about in relationships, and how weird it is when people get worried that Jacob and I haven't ever had a fight.)

Sam: You seem to me like you're a pretty practical person and not ever the delusion you'll NEVER fight, which I suppose is the case for some people.
ThePhan: Sam: Yeah, if we waited until we had a fight to make this happen, we'd be waiting for ages to get married. We're both kind of conflict-avoidy, but we've discussed at length how we *do* react to conflict and how we should approach it if we need to confront the other about something, that kind of thing.
ThePhan: So I'm pretty comfortable with that.
Sam: TP: It does not surprise me that you have talked it out and made that judgment. Like I said, you seem pretty practical and grounded to me.
Sam: ON THE OTHER HAND, MARRIAGE IS WORRRRRRRRRRRRRK. I DO NOT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THIS YET
.
.
.
* ThePhan is talking to Jacob right now and sharing this whole conversation.
Sentynel: Jacob: YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO START A FIGHT WITH HER BEFORE YOU'RE MARRIED
ThePhan: Sent: LOL LOL
Ticia: Fight!
Sentynel: I'm disturbed by how many of my contributions to this conversation have been ALLCAPS.
ThePhan: He says, "Uh, okay. I guess I'll think about that."
Ticia: Jacob: MARRIAGE IS A LOT OF WORK ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY I MEAN IT IS *A LOT* OF WORK.
ThePhan: He says, "I change my opinions a lot. Maybe I can change my opinion on something really big that's really important to you, so we can fight about it!"
Ticia: There you go
ThePhan: Maybe we can fight tonight!
Ticia: Maybe he can be an extrovert.
Sentynel: I'm now slightly concerned that Jacob's only encounter with me may have led him to think I'm a little strange.

Little Kids Saying Things Wrong

Ticia: Joseph just asked me how a bulldog would kill you. So I asked him why he wanted to know, since it was so out of the blue. He said "Well, someday when I grow up and get married, my kids might want to know..."
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: He's thinking ahead.
ThePhan: It's like one of my favorite Seth stories, when we were working on correcting his speech impediment where his Ls came out as Ys (like = yike).
ThePhan: We were practicing different words and trying to get him to save them correctly, and he suddenly panicked and yelled, "I have to practice the word 'love'!"
ThePhan: "Why?"
ThePhan: "For when I get my wife!"
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: Ha!
ThePhan: We reassured him he had plenty of time to practice before that happened.
Ticia: Thomas has the same problem.
ThePhan: Er, and say them correctly. Not save.
Ticia: He says w instead of L, though.
ThePhan: Most kids I know do that. The Ls get turned into Ws.
Ticia: "Mom, can I sit on your wap?" "I don't have a wap. I have a lap, though.
ThePhan: Seth's was just funky.
Ticia: So we practice. He can say La. "La La La Wap!"
ThePhan: Since he also couldn't say his Rs (they turned into Ws), I discovered once that it made the words "clueless" and "curious" sounded exactly the same.
ThePhan: He kept talking once about somebody who was "cyueyess," and I kept going, "Curious?" "No! Cyueyess!" "...Curious?" "NO! Yike, without a cyue!"
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: LOL
* LaZorra comes back to the qindow and cracks up.
Nyperold: Qindows sure are funny!
Sam: My nephew learned the word "truck" before he could pronounce "tr" properly. So it would come out "kuck." But then when he learned the "tr" sound, he still kept saying "kuck," because by then that word was ingrained. So then he learned other "tr" words that he pronounced properly. Ultimately, he would be able to tell me that a certain vehicle was a "tractor-trailor kuck."
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: My tr sound came out as an f sound, when I was a kid.
Goosey: oops
Ticia: I didn't understand why mom didn't want me saying truck...
Ticia: :-D
Goosey: lol
LaZorra: Ticia: LOL
Goosey: My sister Katie just mixed up consonants all over the place
Goosey: Her favorite Disney princess was "Seeping Blooty"
Goosey: She wore a "shimming flute" to the pool
Goosey: The place where her arm bent was her "oboe"
Goosey: She ate kitchen in the chicken
Goosey: And she said "fish" backwards
Goosey: So when she (loudly) told my dad to feed the fish (and confused "feed" with "eat") it came out rather badly
Ticia: haha

The Cat Is the Hate

Ticia: The cat has discovered the heating pad on my lap. I don't think she has plans to move, ever.
LaZorra: Ticia: Now that I know there is a heating pad on your lap, I am going to join your cat.
* LaZorra curls up on Ticia's lap.
Ticia: LaZorra: Okay, but I may braid your hair while you're there.
LaZorra: Ticia: ...somehow I am now picturing you braiding your cat's tail into my hair.
LaZorra: Which sounds like a terrible idea.
LaZorra: for all of us
Sentynel: I'm not sure the cat would be a big fan of that idea.
Ticia: lol
Ticia: She just tried to bite me.
Ticia: The cat, that is.
ThePhan: WEDDING HAIR IDEA
ThePhan: Ticia will braid her cat's tail into my hair.
ThePhan: It will be beautiful.
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: haha
ThePhan: The cat will be attached, of course.
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: Otherwise there's really no point.
Ticia: The cat would make a fabulous hat.
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: Hey, some people pay big money for fur hats!
Sentynel: Normally they're not alive at the time.
Ticia: Yes, I would need her alive at the end of the wedding.
Ticia: No skinning my cat for a fabulous hat.
Randy: Its the new thing. Live animal hats.
Ticia: Imagine lazorra with a hat like this http://thequillsisters.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/cat-on-head.bmp
Ticia: Actually, this http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2NU84yo3_ns/...AAAkg/8ztP2vAkI4A/s1600/CAT-HEAD-2.jpg is closer to Teyla's coloring.
LaZorra: That is indeed a lovely hat!
LaZorra: And would go perfectly with Phan's dress.
Sentynel: I like how there are enough images on the internet of people with cats on their head that you can find one of the right colour.
ThePhan: LZ: It would!
Goosey: Dr. Suess's classic book, The Cat Is the Hate
Goosey: *HAT
* ThePhan wants people to photoshop cats onto her head during wedding pics now, btw.
ThePhan: THE CAT IS THE HATE
Sentynel: Goosey: That seems a bit darker than his usual work...
Goosey: SHOT OP
Goosey: At least I still have my eyes, okay?
LaZorra: THE CAT IS THE HATE
* LaZorra dies laughing.
Goosey: :)
LaZorra: THE CAT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW OF HATE
Sentynel: Also, it's Seuss.
LaZorra: Sent: No, Seuss wrote the Cat in the Hat.
Goosey: Laz: Sent was correcting my hasty spelling
Sentynel: Oh, right. Suess is his darker-and-edgier cousin.
LaZorra: Suess wrote The Cate is the Hat.
LaZorra: er
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: Man, he was prolific!
LaZorra: it's hard to misspell a misspelling but im a hard man
Goosey: LOL LOL
Randy: LOL
* Randy loves this place
LaZorra: IN SOVIET RINKCHAT, CHAT LOVES YOU

Wearing a Ton of Makeup

Dave: Decline II is like my favorite rockumentary ever.
Randy: Its the best when the guys are all "I live for rock and roll, if I don't make it I'll die!"
Goosey: Okay, I'm putting myself to bed.
Randy: while wearing a ton of makeup.
Goosey: Goodnight everybody!
Randy: night Goosey!
* Goosey HUGS everybody!
* Randy HUGS Goosey!
Ticia: I was all 'How does Randy know if Goosey is wearing a ton of makeup to bed?"
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: :-D
Randy: LOL
Randy: Don't all women do that?
Ticia: Oh sure. We love to wash our pillowcases every day.
Goosey: and if the house catches on fire overnight, we want to be ready when the firemans show up
Ticia: Well, yeah.
Randy: I KNEW IT
Goosey: IT IS LOGICAL

The Phantom of the Opera: The Rom Com

ThePhan: ...Flickchart had The Phantom of the Opera listed as a romantic comedy.
Goosey: ...
ThePhan: I have alerted them so hopefully that will be fixed soon.
ThePhan: What a weird categorization.
Goosey: indeed
Ticia: Phan: No, it's hilarious.
Ticia: My favorite scene is when the Phantom gets the girl after the long, introspective flashback scenes of their relationship, while they're standing in the rain.
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: And then they kiss, and *sniff* it's just so sweet.
ThePhan: LOL
Randy: LOL
Randy: ITS A CLASSIC AND I GIVE IT A.......
Ticia: I really thought Christine was going to get on that plane, but the Phantom came and declared his love for her, and then ripped off his mask and was all "I don't care if people see me as I am. Because what I AM is in LOVE with a beautiful girl!"
Ticia: Made me cry.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: SIGH
Goosey: sigh?
Sentynel: After staging a miraculous partial recovery right before the engineer showed up, and then returning to pretty much full capacity after the engineer tinkered a little, my internet connection speed has crashed and burned again.
ThePhan: Sentynel is also sighing over the beauty of the Phantom and Christine's love story.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Oh. Or that.
Sentynel: That too, of course.

Star-Studded

ThePhan: Watching last night's American Idol. It's Hollywood Week, so we're not even to the voting rounds yet, and they've just informed us that after the break we'll see "some of the most star-studded performances yet."
ThePhan: I don't think they know what star-studded means.
ThePhan: None of these people are stars yet. They're all still auditioning.
ThePhan: Unless they're bringing other musical stars out to sing with them. That would be awesome and unexpected.
ThePhan: But I think they just don't know how English works.
ThePhan: Even if they *were* stars, they're only singing one at a time.
ThePhan: HOW CAN A PERFORMANCE BE STAR-STUDDED WITH ONLY ONE NOT-STAR SINGING THEM?
Ticia: No, their costumes will have stars with studs on them.
ThePhan: Ticia: That better be the answer.
Ticia: Oooh. maybe they're having studs... hot guy, that is, dressed *only* in stars.
Ticia: Mmm hmmm

The Monster at the End of the Book

Randy: They made another Monster at the End of the Book...with Elmo.
Maryam: I know, and it makes me sad.
Dave: WHAT
Dave: THAT IS BAD
Dave: THE MONSTER AT THE END OF THE BOOK IS LOVABLE FURRY OLD GROVER
ThePhan: I hope Elmo gets to the end of the book and Grover is there.
ThePhan: That would be awesome.
Ticia: I hope Elmo gets to the end and gets chopped up and dismembered by Grover.
Randy: WHO IS THE MONSTER NOW ELMO
Ticia: Mwa ha ha

Elizabeth's Movie Titles

Ticia: I refuse to believe that life at ThePhan's is anything but wacky siblings saying crazy stuff, and hijinks. And shenanigans.
TalkingDog: I would watch that as a reality show. "ThePhamily".
TalkingDog: (You see what I did there? I am the cleverest hamster.)
Goosey: LOL!
Goosey: I'd totally watch that too :)
.
.
.
ThePhan: And I see you people were discussing life at my house.
ThePhan: You're pretty much right.
ThePhan: Except it's also a lot of sitting around making lists of favorite movies and stuff.
Goosey: hehehe
Goosey: I'd still watch it.
Goosey: Because in the middle of a movie list Elizabeth will forget the words of a title and come up with something hilariously absurd
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: Yes.
ThePhan: The other day I was talking to her about that and she was like, "I can remember movie titles!" and I said, "Oh, yeah? Then think of a movie and tell me what it's called."
ThePhan: So she goes, "Um... that French one."
ThePhan: "What French one?"
ThePhan: "It has a guy and a girl, and there's a mean guy."
ThePhan: "Um. Is it an old one?"
ThePhan: "Yes."
ThePhan: "Is it in black and white?"
ThePhan: "No."
ThePhan: "Have I seen it?"
ThePhan: "I don't know."
ThePhan: "Have you seen it?"
ThePhan: "No."
ThePhan: "Wait, then... how do you know what it is?"
TalkingDog: bwa?
ThePhan: "I saw something about it somewhere."
ThePhan: "Are you sure it's French?"
ThePhan: "Maybe."
ThePhan: "What's it about?"
ThePhan: "I don't know."
ThePhan: "So is there even a guy and a girl and a mean guy?"
ThePhan: "Well, I mean, there's ALWAYS a mean guy."
ThePhan: We still have no idea what she was talking about. She may have made the whole thing up.
Ticia: HAHA
Goosey: LOL LOL

Liters

ThePhan: I drove my siblings crazy yesterday by illogically measuring everything in liters.
Goosey: lol
ThePhan: Including the distance from the car to the curb and how good the movie The Matrix was.
ThePhan: They kept being like, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT, LITERS DON'T MEASURE THAT!"
Randy: LOL
Randy: How good was the Matrix in liters?
Ticia: haha
iwpg: Only The Matrix is measured in litres, though.
iwpg: No other movies.
ThePhan: I think I said The Matrix was 6 liters.
Randy: hmm...I'd agree with that.