The Polar Bear

Sentynel: The internet informs me it is so cold in Chicago they had to keep the polar bear inside.
Sentynel: At the zoo, I mean.
Sentynel: Crucial bit of that sentence missed.
Sentynel: Chicago doesn't just have a pet polar bear wandering around.
Sentynel: As far as I know.
Goosey: Hahahaha
Sentynel: Can you tell how little sleep I got last night?
iwpg: Every city should have one.
LaZorra: Sent: Indeed it is. The best story I've read about that referred to the bear by name, with the modifier, ".., the city bear,..."
Sentynel: LOL
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: That makes him sound like he lives in an apartment somewhere and commutes to work on the metro.
Goosey: hahaha
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: Yeah, basically.
LaZorra: I bet he had to cancel all his Monday meetings.
Sentynel: The local seal population must be very relieved.

Southern Accents

ThePhan: Sometimes my church in Illinois will sing old-timey southern Baptist hymns and southern gospel praise choruses.
ThePhan: I can't sing them in my normal accent.
ThePhan: I keep going southern.
ThePhan: Nobody else in the church does, so I'm not following their lead.
ThePhan: I just literally can't sing "I'll Fly Away" in a not-southern accent.
LaZorra: I'm not sure the phrase, "Oh, Glory" exists in other accents, Phan.

Bununs

LaZorra: What an unexpected bonuns, heh.
LaZorra: er
LaZorra: bununs
ThePhan: BONUNS
ThePhan: Bun nuns?
LaZorra: ...I just typed an entire long-ass story without a single notable typo.
ThePhan: LOL
LaZorra: And I can't comment on yours without mkaing one.
LaZorra: BOW NUNS
LaZorra: DEFENDERS OF THE FAITH
Nyperold: NUNS WITH BUNS
Nyperold: The hairstyle, that is.
LaZorra: WRAPPERS OF MIGHTY CHRISTMAS PACKAGES
ThePhan: I feel like "Bun Nuns" is the name of an aerobics program by nuns. "NUNS WITH BUNS! Let's work on yours!"
LaZorra: LOL LOL
LaZorra: Now you know what happens during Catholic school phys ed.
ThePhan: LOL

3K

Sentynel: I at least hope I'll be able to cycle to work when I move in September.
Goosey: Sent: ooh nice, how close will that put you?
Sentynel: Goosey: I don't know where I'll be living yet, so I don't know.
Sentynel: Where I'm hoping would be about 3k, though.
Maryam: It took me forever to parse that as 3 kilometers. I was like... "3000 miles? Or is he talking about rent which is going to be 3000 pounds?"
ThePhan: Maryam: LOL, yes, I kept thinking 3000 miles as well.
Goosey: lol
Sentynel: Maryam: I have a REALLY fast bike.
LaZorra: ...and I just read, "...which is going to weigh about 3000 pounds" and thought you meant he thought he was getting a really heavy bike,
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Sentynel: Need a big engine to go that fast, you know.

The 2016 Olympics

ThePhan: This survey just gave me a list of items and said "Please indicate if you have done one of these in the last 3 months."
ThePhan: One of those items? "Attended the 2016 Olympics."
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Why, yes. I did that in March.
Goosey: Phan: That would be TALENT
LaZorra: Phan: Did you win
LaZorra: ?
ThePhan: LZ: I *did* win.
ThePhan: Every medal.
MSB: okay. what happened while i was working
LaZorra: MSB: the 2016 Olympics.
LaZorra: You worked for a LONG time.

Princes

(About Disney princesses.)

Dave: Also, why are they all called princesses anyway? How many of them were ACTUALLY a princess in their own stories?
ThePhan: All except Mulan.
ThePhan: Either by birth or by marriage.
ThePhan: Calling Mulan a Disney princess has always bugged me. Heh.
Kalimeris: Yeah! She doesn't marry a prince, she just marries that guy.
Dave: Really? I haven't even seen most of those movies. I didn't know the entire point of every one of them was "girl marries prince"
Dave: That's disturbing all by itself.
Dave: They can't come up with a better plot for their ladies?
ThePhan: Dave: Sometimes it's "princes marries prince."
ThePhan: PRINCESS
Dave: Whoa
LaZorra: LOL LOL
Dave: Disney is more progressive than I thought.

Activitires

LaZorra has entered.
LaZorra: i came in to see if phan is ready to elope to utah with me
ThePhan: LOL
* ThePhan elopes to Utah. elopeelopeelope
ThePhan: Which is, unfortunately, pronounced "elo pee, lo pee, lope."
ThePhan: I *would* elope to Utah, but we have a deposit on the Ohio building and all...
Randy: elopeelopeelopeelope
* Randy sings it like the Lone Ranger theme
Ticia: LOL
LaZorra: Phan: I do not want to do anything that involves peeing. Not even with you in Utah.
LaZorra: I mean, I consider my friends close, but there's a line, you know?
ThePhan: Well, then you're just going to have to sit out for a large portion of our reception.
Randy: Don't all you girls always go to the bathroom in groups anyways?
Sam: LAZORRA NEVER PEES! NEVER!
LaZorra: I NEVER GO TO THE BATHROOM
LaZorra: WHAT SAM SAID
Sam: Unless it's for a good cause. http://www.rinkworks.com/comics/?c=19
LaZorra: Phan: I did not see bathroom activitires noted on the invitation...
ThePhan: LZ: It's mostly a surprise.
ThePhan: "Activitires"?
ThePhan: Tires that can only be activated in the bathroom.
* Sam HUGS LaZorra!
LaZorra: Maybe those are special toilets with tired on them.
* LaZorra HUGS Sam!
LaZorra: Sam: LOL LOL
Randy: LOL
LaZorra: *tired
LaZorra: Toilets with tired on them would perhaps be stalls in which people took naps.
Randy: Been there...
ThePhan: Toilets with tired and tires on them are my wedding favors.
ThePhan: Stalls to nap in... on wheels.
LaZorra: Dude. Best favors EVAR.

Mountains Aren't Natural

LaZorra: I was talking to one girl who grew up here, and I said I was from California where we had lots of mountains. Her eyes got big, and she said, "Mountains freak me out. That's not natural."
Goosey: LOL
LaZorra: I was like, "Uh...pretty sure they are...but okay..."
TalkingDog: that is a silly person
Goosey: That's awesome
TalkingDog: Did she say where they came from?
LaZorra: so silly
TalkingDog: Maybe they are from Space Mountain.
LaZorra: TD: From the look on her face, she wanted to stop thinking about mountains as soon as possible.
LaZorra: YES
LaZorra: oh man
Goosey: Hahaha
TalkingDog: What if she thinks that mountains are like Space Mountain and Splash Mountain? If those are the only mountains you know, they are pretty unnatural.
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: You know, that's very true.
TalkingDog: I need some kind of "TD Explains" blog.
LaZorra: Yes, you do.
Goosey: LOL YES
LaZorra: Although, if all mountains were like Space Mountain or Slapsh Mountain, my commute to college would have been a lot more fun.

Pregnancy Test

Sentynel: Okay, wow. The standard pregnancy test in the ~1950s was the following: 1) Take urine sample. 2) Inject said sample into a toad. 3) Observe toad for 24 hours. 4) If toad lays eggs, test is positive.
Sentynel: (Female toad, obviously.)
Ticia: lol
Goosey: lol
* Nyperold blinks.
Ticia: I wonder how long it took them to figure out that didn't work.
Sentynel: Oh, it worked.
Sentynel: It was phased out when we developed direct chemical tests for the antigens involved.
Ticia: ... seriously?
Sentynel: Yup.
Ticia: lol, okay then.
Sentynel: It was an improvement on previous tests, which used mice or rabbits, as the animal had to be killed and dissected so the ovaries could be examined.
Sentynel: The toad survived and could be used repeatedly.
Ticia: Poor toad.
LaZorra: ...
LaZorra: My brain wants to make some really bizarre parallel to kissing toads.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: LaZ: If you kiss a toad and it turns into a prince, you're pregnant? I think that's the wrong way around.

Little Kids Saying Things Wrong

Ticia: Joseph just asked me how a bulldog would kill you. So I asked him why he wanted to know, since it was so out of the blue. He said "Well, someday when I grow up and get married, my kids might want to know..."
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: He's thinking ahead.
ThePhan: It's like one of my favorite Seth stories, when we were working on correcting his speech impediment where his Ls came out as Ys (like = yike).
ThePhan: We were practicing different words and trying to get him to save them correctly, and he suddenly panicked and yelled, "I have to practice the word 'love'!"
ThePhan: "Why?"
ThePhan: "For when I get my wife!"
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: Ha!
ThePhan: We reassured him he had plenty of time to practice before that happened.
Ticia: Thomas has the same problem.
ThePhan: Er, and say them correctly. Not save.
Ticia: He says w instead of L, though.
ThePhan: Most kids I know do that. The Ls get turned into Ws.
Ticia: "Mom, can I sit on your wap?" "I don't have a wap. I have a lap, though.
ThePhan: Seth's was just funky.
Ticia: So we practice. He can say La. "La La La Wap!"
ThePhan: Since he also couldn't say his Rs (they turned into Ws), I discovered once that it made the words "clueless" and "curious" sounded exactly the same.
ThePhan: He kept talking once about somebody who was "cyueyess," and I kept going, "Curious?" "No! Cyueyess!" "...Curious?" "NO! Yike, without a cyue!"
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: LOL
* LaZorra comes back to the qindow and cracks up.
Nyperold: Qindows sure are funny!
Sam: My nephew learned the word "truck" before he could pronounce "tr" properly. So it would come out "kuck." But then when he learned the "tr" sound, he still kept saying "kuck," because by then that word was ingrained. So then he learned other "tr" words that he pronounced properly. Ultimately, he would be able to tell me that a certain vehicle was a "tractor-trailor kuck."
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: My tr sound came out as an f sound, when I was a kid.
Goosey: oops
Ticia: I didn't understand why mom didn't want me saying truck...
Ticia: :-D
Goosey: lol
LaZorra: Ticia: LOL
Goosey: My sister Katie just mixed up consonants all over the place
Goosey: Her favorite Disney princess was "Seeping Blooty"
Goosey: She wore a "shimming flute" to the pool
Goosey: The place where her arm bent was her "oboe"
Goosey: She ate kitchen in the chicken
Goosey: And she said "fish" backwards
Goosey: So when she (loudly) told my dad to feed the fish (and confused "feed" with "eat") it came out rather badly
Ticia: haha

Projer Orpber

LaZorra: WhOA: http://english.stackexchange.com/quest...5/what-is-the-rule-for-adjective-order
LaZorra: Adjectives have a projer orpber?
Goosey: a what? lol
LaZorra: er, proper order
Randy: hehe
Sam: Hey, hey, settle down, people!
Sam: Settle down!
Sam: Orpber! Orpber!
Goosey: LOL
Nyperold: Yes, we must do this projerly.
Sam: Good grief. Google for "projer orpber," and it figures out you probably meant "proper order." ???
Goosey: eek
Goosey: Sam: Google speaks LaZorra!
Sam: Oh, this explains it. Google Translate has a "LaZorra" language option.
Sam: So it knows.
Goosey: lol
Randy: haha
LaZorra: :-p
LaZorra: YOU SO FUNNY SMA

The Cat Is the Hate

Ticia: The cat has discovered the heating pad on my lap. I don't think she has plans to move, ever.
LaZorra: Ticia: Now that I know there is a heating pad on your lap, I am going to join your cat.
* LaZorra curls up on Ticia's lap.
Ticia: LaZorra: Okay, but I may braid your hair while you're there.
LaZorra: Ticia: ...somehow I am now picturing you braiding your cat's tail into my hair.
LaZorra: Which sounds like a terrible idea.
LaZorra: for all of us
Sentynel: I'm not sure the cat would be a big fan of that idea.
Ticia: lol
Ticia: She just tried to bite me.
Ticia: The cat, that is.
ThePhan: WEDDING HAIR IDEA
ThePhan: Ticia will braid her cat's tail into my hair.
ThePhan: It will be beautiful.
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: haha
ThePhan: The cat will be attached, of course.
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: Otherwise there's really no point.
Ticia: The cat would make a fabulous hat.
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: Hey, some people pay big money for fur hats!
Sentynel: Normally they're not alive at the time.
Ticia: Yes, I would need her alive at the end of the wedding.
Ticia: No skinning my cat for a fabulous hat.
Randy: Its the new thing. Live animal hats.
Ticia: Imagine lazorra with a hat like this http://thequillsisters.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/cat-on-head.bmp
Ticia: Actually, this http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2NU84yo3_ns/...AAAkg/8ztP2vAkI4A/s1600/CAT-HEAD-2.jpg is closer to Teyla's coloring.
LaZorra: That is indeed a lovely hat!
LaZorra: And would go perfectly with Phan's dress.
Sentynel: I like how there are enough images on the internet of people with cats on their head that you can find one of the right colour.
ThePhan: LZ: It would!
Goosey: Dr. Suess's classic book, The Cat Is the Hate
Goosey: *HAT
* ThePhan wants people to photoshop cats onto her head during wedding pics now, btw.
ThePhan: THE CAT IS THE HATE
Sentynel: Goosey: That seems a bit darker than his usual work...
Goosey: SHOT OP
Goosey: At least I still have my eyes, okay?
LaZorra: THE CAT IS THE HATE
* LaZorra dies laughing.
Goosey: :)
LaZorra: THE CAT OUTSIDE THE WINDOW OF HATE
Sentynel: Also, it's Seuss.
LaZorra: Sent: No, Seuss wrote the Cat in the Hat.
Goosey: Laz: Sent was correcting my hasty spelling
Sentynel: Oh, right. Suess is his darker-and-edgier cousin.
LaZorra: Suess wrote The Cate is the Hat.
LaZorra: er
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: Man, he was prolific!
LaZorra: it's hard to misspell a misspelling but im a hard man
Goosey: LOL LOL
Randy: LOL
* Randy loves this place
LaZorra: IN SOVIET RINKCHAT, CHAT LOVES YOU

Cayenne With Triscuits

* Goosey eats sardines with triscuits
LaZorra: oh man, triscuits sound amazing right now.
* Goosey is about to try sprinkling one with cayenne . . . this could be interesting
Goosey: Oh dear, that was a larger dash of cayenne than I intended. Um.
Goosey: Who dares me?
LaZorra: Goosey: HOT HOT HOT
Randy: DO EEET
Goosey: huh, my mouth feels the heat, but was not ignited.
Goosey: And it was yummy.
Goosey: How interesting.
.
.
.
Goosey: Ow. Ow. Cayenne is burning a hole in my tongue. Ow.
LaZorra: oh nooooooo
LaZorra: that is not how you pierce your tongue goosey oh no it is not
Goosey: LOL

The Mind of a Spammer

TalkingDog: I got spam from an @ogdenrents.com address?
LaZorra: TD: Teu wamt upi tp ,pve tp Itaj?
LaZorra: er
LaZorra: *They want you to move to Utah?
Sentynel: Oh, I thought it meant his parents had moved to Utah.
TalkingDog: Elena says she likes my profile and wants me to reply at this other address with a .ru domain.
TalkingDog: "I hope, our dreams will come true also we probably we shall embody them in the validity."
LaZorra: There's nothing quite as disappointing as a dream embodied in invalidity.
Sentynel: It's an interesting insight into the mind of the spammer, though.
Sentynel: I can quite clearly hear the thought, translated from Russian of course, "fork it, Google Translate."

Everything Comes Down to Poo

ThePhan: One of these days I'm going to have a bunch of my friends share their "how we got together/fell in love/got married" stories on my blog. I'm fascinated by them. And now that, um, ALL MY FRIENDS ARE MARRIED OR GETTING MARRIED, I should have plenty of options. :-)
LaZorra: I would love to read that oo!
LaZorra: Er, substitute the consonant of your choice in that last word.
LaZorra: Except P.
ThePhan: You would love to read that poo?
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: *high five*
ThePhan: So Jacob's working third shift now, so I only get to talk to him on two of his breaks, and one of those is at 2 a.m.
ThePhan: I have realized that when we're both super tired, we talk about poop A LOT.
LaZorra: LOL LOL
LaZorra: EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO POO
ThePhan: IT DOES AT 2 OR 3 IN THE MORNING
ThePhan: Overall, the job shift is probably better for him.
ThePhan: But I'll miss talking to him on his way home every night.
ThePhan: Because I am not waking up at 6 in the morning to talk about poop with him.
LaZorra: This is not a good sign for potential parenthood.
ThePhan: LOL LOL

Popping Balloons With Lasers

ThePhan: OOH, did I tell you about our supremely geeky laser idea?
LaZorra: No!
ThePhan: I saw on QI that laser pointers can pop black balloons, so we're going to fill some dark balloons with confetti, line the reception hall door with them, and then when Jacob and I walk in, we're going to have a group of our friends pop the balloons with lasers.
ThePhan: IT IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME
LaZorra: WHATTTT
LaZorra: That is the best idea ever.
ThePhan: As long as we can get it to happen. We'll have to practice it to make sure it works. Heh.
LaZorra: OH DARN YOU WILL HAVE TO PRACTICE POPPING BALLOONS WITH LASERS OH NO

Consc Niseered

LaZorra has entered.
ThePhan: Hi LaZ!
LaZorra: Hey Phn!
LaZorra: Phan, even ne
LaZorra: er
LaZorra: evene
LaZorra: even
ThePhan: Hehe
Randy: You are incredible. hehe
LaZorra: I'm beginning to think that when I eventually marry Drew, my invitations will have to have misspellings on them or they won't be consc niseered valid.
ThePhan: They won't be what now?
LaZorra: ooheer
LaZorra: *considrneed
LaZorra: consnerredoeed
LaZorra: good grief
LaZorra: con
LaZorra: sid
LaZorra: ered
Goosey: Bahahahaha
Maryam: bahaha
* ThePhan is trying to pronounce "consc niseered" to Jacob over the phone.

Runing

LaZorra: I'M WINNING!
* LaZorra sparkles in the sunlight.
LaZorra: ...I just realized I sounded like Charlie what'shisface and Twilight lumped together.
Maryam: Oh, I thought that was a Twilight reference, but I couldn't figure out why she was making a Twilight reference.
LaZorra: DANG YOU, pop culture, for RUNING EVERYTHING
Maryam: Yeah, I hate all those runes everywhere.
Goosey: LOL
LaZorra: LOL!
LaZorra: I was thinking, "Runes? Is that a reference to the Hobbit movie? I haven't really noticed —OH"

Zero Toes

LaZorra: But I've been standing outside for like 75 minutes.
Goosey: Oh brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
LaZorra: I can no longer feel my toes.
* Goosey HUGS LaZorra!
Goosey: Poor toes!
* LaZorra HUGS Goosey!
LaZorra: hehe
LaZorra: Well, in fairness, it was so I could have coffee with Drew.
LaZorra: He's worth no toes.
Goosey: lol
LaZorra: Wait, that sounds weird.
Goosey: You should tell him that
LaZorra: "You, sir! You are worth zero toes!"
Goosey: LOL

Parking Spaces

LaZorra: A big selling point of the condo I'm trying to buy is that it comes with an indoor parking spot.
LaZorra: It would be about $20k on its own.
Dave: Wowza
Goosey: oooh
LaZorra: The realtor was like, "Hey, you can rent that since you don't have a car! That will make you like $150 a month!"
LaZorra: and I was like I AM SORRY WHAT
LaZorra: "Where I come from, we park on the dirt. For free."
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL
LaZorra: Actually, my first thought was, "MAYBE I CAN DRYDOCK MY SAILBOAT IN MY PARKING SPOT"
Dave: You have a sailboat but no car?
Dave: Where do you live, Venice?
Goosey: lol
Dave: Now I want to buy parking spaces.
LaZorra: Well, I have a sailboat in California, heh.
LaZorra: Where I also have a truck.
LaZorra: I WISH I LIVED IN VENICE
Dave: You should sail it to Chicago.
LaZorra: Maybe I can finally find the Northwest Passage.
Dave: No silly, you sail it around the Horn.
Dave: Then, like, I think you can sail up the St Lawrence river all the way to the Great Lakes.
Dave: If not, then go up the MIssissippi and I guess portage it over. That'd work.
Sentynel: Just fill it with helium and sail overland.
* Sam sets up parking spaces in RinkChat.
Sam: So, any takers?
Sam: Just think of how much more convenient it'll be to come into RinkChat.
Sam: You don't have to walk. You can just show up here and stick around.