Sam: WoW comments board:
Sam: "The Kirin Tor are now on our side too with a leader who has become, literally unhinged and is a ridiculously powerful magus in her own right!"
Sam: She's LITERALLY unhinged!
Sam: Come to think of it, so am I!
Goosey: LOL
Maryam: I don't know, aren't elbows and knees hinges?
Sam: Oh. Maybe you're right.
* Sam is literally hinged.
Goosey: hehe
iwpg: So does that mean the Kirin Tor leader literally lost her joints somehow?
Maryam: That's really kind of a scary thought, the idea of your body suddenly falling all to pieces.
iwpg: I was thinking more of her arms and legs fusing solid.
Goosey: I saw a movie like that once. It was creepy
Maryam: That's also a scary thought.
Maryam: When I hear the expression "unhinged" I think of the hinge just sort of falling apart.
Showing posts with label sam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sam. Show all posts
Friday, October 18, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
Candy In His Mouth
Ticia: haha, Thomas just came down with candy in his mouth. Rose gave it to him to get him out of her room.
Goosey: lol
Sam: I read "haha, Thomas just came down with..." and assumed it was some sort of illness. The rest of the sentence sounded like it was a very pleasant illness.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Nyperold: Tastiest affliction ever.
Sam: Then I read the second sentence and thought, wow, what a gifted but vindictive girl. "OUT OF MY ROOM, OR SUFFER INFECTION."
Ticia: LOL
Ticia: That's her super power.
Sentynel: She fights crime.
Goosey: lol
Sam: I read "haha, Thomas just came down with..." and assumed it was some sort of illness. The rest of the sentence sounded like it was a very pleasant illness.
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Nyperold: Tastiest affliction ever.
Sam: Then I read the second sentence and thought, wow, what a gifted but vindictive girl. "OUT OF MY ROOM, OR SUFFER INFECTION."
Ticia: LOL
Ticia: That's her super power.
Sentynel: She fights crime.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Activitires
LaZorra has entered.
LaZorra: i came in to see if phan is ready to elope to utah with me
ThePhan: LOL
* ThePhan elopes to Utah. elopeelopeelope
ThePhan: Which is, unfortunately, pronounced "elo pee, lo pee, lope."
ThePhan: I *would* elope to Utah, but we have a deposit on the Ohio building and all...
Randy: elopeelopeelopeelope
* Randy sings it like the Lone Ranger theme
Ticia: LOL
LaZorra: Phan: I do not want to do anything that involves peeing. Not even with you in Utah.
LaZorra: I mean, I consider my friends close, but there's a line, you know?
ThePhan: Well, then you're just going to have to sit out for a large portion of our reception.
Randy: Don't all you girls always go to the bathroom in groups anyways?
Sam: LAZORRA NEVER PEES! NEVER!
LaZorra: I NEVER GO TO THE BATHROOM
LaZorra: WHAT SAM SAID
Sam: Unless it's for a good cause. http://www.rinkworks.com/comics/?c=19
LaZorra: Phan: I did not see bathroom activitires noted on the invitation...
ThePhan: LZ: It's mostly a surprise.
ThePhan: "Activitires"?
ThePhan: Tires that can only be activated in the bathroom.
* Sam HUGS LaZorra!
LaZorra: Maybe those are special toilets with tired on them.
* LaZorra HUGS Sam!
LaZorra: Sam: LOL LOL
Randy: LOL
LaZorra: *tired
LaZorra: Toilets with tired on them would perhaps be stalls in which people took naps.
Randy: Been there...
ThePhan: Toilets with tired and tires on them are my wedding favors.
ThePhan: Stalls to nap in... on wheels.
LaZorra: Dude. Best favors EVAR.
LaZorra: i came in to see if phan is ready to elope to utah with me
ThePhan: LOL
* ThePhan elopes to Utah. elopeelopeelope
ThePhan: Which is, unfortunately, pronounced "elo pee, lo pee, lope."
ThePhan: I *would* elope to Utah, but we have a deposit on the Ohio building and all...
Randy: elopeelopeelopeelope
* Randy sings it like the Lone Ranger theme
Ticia: LOL
LaZorra: Phan: I do not want to do anything that involves peeing. Not even with you in Utah.
LaZorra: I mean, I consider my friends close, but there's a line, you know?
ThePhan: Well, then you're just going to have to sit out for a large portion of our reception.
Randy: Don't all you girls always go to the bathroom in groups anyways?
Sam: LAZORRA NEVER PEES! NEVER!
LaZorra: I NEVER GO TO THE BATHROOM
LaZorra: WHAT SAM SAID
Sam: Unless it's for a good cause. http://www.rinkworks.com/comics/?c=19
LaZorra: Phan: I did not see bathroom activitires noted on the invitation...
ThePhan: LZ: It's mostly a surprise.
ThePhan: "Activitires"?
ThePhan: Tires that can only be activated in the bathroom.
* Sam HUGS LaZorra!
LaZorra: Maybe those are special toilets with tired on them.
* LaZorra HUGS Sam!
LaZorra: Sam: LOL LOL
Randy: LOL
LaZorra: *tired
LaZorra: Toilets with tired on them would perhaps be stalls in which people took naps.
Randy: Been there...
ThePhan: Toilets with tired and tires on them are my wedding favors.
ThePhan: Stalls to nap in... on wheels.
LaZorra: Dude. Best favors EVAR.
The Ability to Impregnate
(In the middle of a discussion about the Merida makeover. Ticia was discussing it with someone online.)
Ticia: The idiot responded to me.
Ticia: "I'm not complaining about strong women; I'm complaining about turning traditional female characters into something they were not for the sake of modern feminism (which isn't very feminine). How's your upper body strength? Let me know when you get another woman pregnant."
Ticia: OH, I'm sorry, am I not being FEMININE ENOUGH FOR YOU
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Ticia: And I don't even get the pregnant part of his comment.
ThePhan: That response is ridiculous
Sam: Er, LOL? What?
Ticia: I guess the ability to impregnate a woman how we're judging strength and awesomeness, now.
Ticia: *is how
Maryam: You can't be strong without being manly? Apparently?
Goosey: that's hilarious
ThePhan: I thought maybe he was implying that upper body strength is directly connected to the ability to impregnate.
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: Just tell him "Let me know when you push another human being out through your privates, then we'll talk about strength."
Ticia: LOL
Sam: And as we all know, the ability to impregnate is directly correlated with how good you are with a bow.
Ticia: Ha!
ThePhan: Robin Hood could impregnate women just by looking at them.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Every single person in England right now is one of his descendants.
* Ticia cries from laughing so hard.
.
.
.
Sentynel: Phan: He's my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.
Sentynel: And it took me that long to make that joke because I was looking up when Robin Hood was set and working out how many generations that would be.
ThePhan: Sent: LOL
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Of course you were.
Ticia: LOL
Sentynel: ^_^
Ticia: The idiot responded to me.
Ticia: "I'm not complaining about strong women; I'm complaining about turning traditional female characters into something they were not for the sake of modern feminism (which isn't very feminine). How's your upper body strength? Let me know when you get another woman pregnant."
Ticia: OH, I'm sorry, am I not being FEMININE ENOUGH FOR YOU
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Ticia: And I don't even get the pregnant part of his comment.
ThePhan: That response is ridiculous
Sam: Er, LOL? What?
Ticia: I guess the ability to impregnate a woman how we're judging strength and awesomeness, now.
Ticia: *is how
Maryam: You can't be strong without being manly? Apparently?
Goosey: that's hilarious
ThePhan: I thought maybe he was implying that upper body strength is directly connected to the ability to impregnate.
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: Just tell him "Let me know when you push another human being out through your privates, then we'll talk about strength."
Ticia: LOL
Sam: And as we all know, the ability to impregnate is directly correlated with how good you are with a bow.
Ticia: Ha!
ThePhan: Robin Hood could impregnate women just by looking at them.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Every single person in England right now is one of his descendants.
* Ticia cries from laughing so hard.
.
.
.
Sentynel: Phan: He's my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.
Sentynel: And it took me that long to make that joke because I was looking up when Robin Hood was set and working out how many generations that would be.
ThePhan: Sent: LOL
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Of course you were.
Ticia: LOL
Sentynel: ^_^
Thursday, May 16, 2013
RinkWorks on TVTropes
Ticia: check out the quote at the top of this page http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AerithAndBob
iwpg: Nice.
Dave: SEEN IT
Dave: UR LATE TICIA
Dave: HA HA BURN
Dave: No seriously, that's awesome.
Ticia: lol
Ticia: I'm slowly ready through that reddit thread you posted early, Dave.
Dave: Let me guess, you found that on the reddit thread about things you hate in fantasy books?
Dave: Because that's where I found it. :-)
Dave: AND IT RULED
Dave: I was like "HEY TVTROPES I'M FAMOUS"
Ticia: lol!
Ticia: Yea
Sam: How come everybody's posting that link now? Oh, it's on reddit?
Sam: Because that's been there for years.
Sam: And rules.
Dave: THANKS FOR NOT TELLING ME FOR YEARS
Sam: Dave: It's been talked about a lot in RinkChat. What are the odds if I go back in the logs I'll find me telling you about it?
Sam: I don't know for a fact that I did, but you have to admit, it's a very distinct possibility.
Dave: Sam: ZERO ODDS U NEVAR TOLD ME
Dave: And if you say you did, you lie.
Dave: I have no proof you didn't just insert that into the logs somewhere then claim to find it just now.
Dave: I ADMIT NOTHING
Ticia: lol
Goosey: LOL
Sam: Hang on, I'm typ--finding it now.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: Sam: Hey Dave, I see the Fantasy Novelist's Exam is quoted on tvtropes. // Dave: Why yes, I see that the Fantasy Novelist's Exam is quoted on tvtropes. // Sam: I bet in approximately three years you will forget I told you this, ha ha. // Dave Yes, I also bet I will forget about this too, ha ha.
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: Looks legit to me.
Dave: WHOA
Dave: That is so incredibly specific, it couldn't POSSIBLY be a fabrication!
ThePhan: LOL
iwpg: LOL
iwpg: Nice.
Dave: SEEN IT
Dave: UR LATE TICIA
Dave: HA HA BURN
Dave: No seriously, that's awesome.
Ticia: lol
Ticia: I'm slowly ready through that reddit thread you posted early, Dave.
Dave: Let me guess, you found that on the reddit thread about things you hate in fantasy books?
Dave: Because that's where I found it. :-)
Dave: AND IT RULED
Dave: I was like "HEY TVTROPES I'M FAMOUS"
Ticia: lol!
Ticia: Yea
Sam: How come everybody's posting that link now? Oh, it's on reddit?
Sam: Because that's been there for years.
Sam: And rules.
Dave: THANKS FOR NOT TELLING ME FOR YEARS
Sam: Dave: It's been talked about a lot in RinkChat. What are the odds if I go back in the logs I'll find me telling you about it?
Sam: I don't know for a fact that I did, but you have to admit, it's a very distinct possibility.
Dave: Sam: ZERO ODDS U NEVAR TOLD ME
Dave: And if you say you did, you lie.
Dave: I have no proof you didn't just insert that into the logs somewhere then claim to find it just now.
Dave: I ADMIT NOTHING
Ticia: lol
Goosey: LOL
Sam: Hang on, I'm typ--finding it now.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: Sam: Hey Dave, I see the Fantasy Novelist's Exam is quoted on tvtropes. // Dave: Why yes, I see that the Fantasy Novelist's Exam is quoted on tvtropes. // Sam: I bet in approximately three years you will forget I told you this, ha ha. // Dave Yes, I also bet I will forget about this too, ha ha.
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: Looks legit to me.
Dave: WHOA
Dave: That is so incredibly specific, it couldn't POSSIBLY be a fabrication!
ThePhan: LOL
iwpg: LOL
Get Down Tonight
Sam: What, I come back from a walk, and nobody's said anything?
Sam: You people need to entertain me better.
Goosey: sorry
Sam: I should hope so.
Sam: Now make amends.
Sam: Do a little dance.
Dave: Make a little love.
Sam: Get down tonight.
Goosey: Get down tonight.
* Goosey does a little dance.
Sam: Is that my cue to make a little love?
Counterpoint: -;-
Counterpoint: -;'
Counterpoint: ';-
Counterpoint: ';'
Counterpoint: -;'
Counterpoint: ';-
Counterpoint: -;-
Counterpoint: A little dance.
Sam: LOL
Sam: Nicely done.
Goosey: LOL
Nyperold: Presumably, Goosey already has down. ;-)
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: Yes, and I'm not sharing. Get your own.
Sam: You people need to entertain me better.
Goosey: sorry
Sam: I should hope so.
Sam: Now make amends.
Sam: Do a little dance.
Dave: Make a little love.
Sam: Get down tonight.
Goosey: Get down tonight.
* Goosey does a little dance.
Sam: Is that my cue to make a little love?
Counterpoint: -;-
Counterpoint: -;'
Counterpoint: ';-
Counterpoint: ';'
Counterpoint: -;'
Counterpoint: ';-
Counterpoint: -;-
Counterpoint: A little dance.
Sam: LOL
Sam: Nicely done.
Goosey: LOL
Nyperold: Presumably, Goosey already has down. ;-)
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: Yes, and I'm not sharing. Get your own.
Darker Warker Marker
ThePhan: So it turns out that if you're really tired and not paying attention when you write stuff, you can write "darker warker marker" when you meant "darker winter months."
ThePhan: Proofreading is definitely my friend today.
Sentynel: LOL LOL
[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'darker warker marker' by Sentynel.
Nyperold: A writing tool of decreased luminosity that makes chocobo noises.
Randy: hehe
Sam: It's a one-way hashing algorithm. Take the first consonants of every word, and replace the rest with "arker."
Sam: Arker arker arker-warker harker arker. Tarker tharker farker carker arker arker warker, arker rarker tharker rarker warker "arker."
ThePhan: Tharker carker, barker sarker ARKER!
Nyperold: Marker, harker brarker.
ThePhan: Warker karker sarker larker tharker Swarker Charker.
Nyperold: (Mmm, hash browns.)
Sam: LOL
ThePhan: "Mmm" -> "Mmmarker"?
Sam: Yarker.
Randy: Garker
Nyperold: Warker, arker darker harker. Tarker barker arker carker arker arker.
Sam: Nyp: I can't smurf that.
Nyperold: (Well, it's definitely hashed. Too bad I can't understand anything.)
Sam: But that's why it's a one-way hash.
Sam: You can talk in CODE.
Sam: UNINTERCEPTIBLE CODE
Sentynel: Barker, barker, barker.
Sentynel: (-the Swedish chef.)
Randy: varker, varker, varker.
Randy: (-Julius Ceasar)
Randy: barker!
Randy has left.
Goosey has entered.
Goosey: I love when I come in here and read the buffer and have NO IDEA what is going on.
ThePhan: LARKER LARKER LARKER
ThePhan: (LOL LOL LOL)
ThePhan: Proofreading is definitely my friend today.
Sentynel: LOL LOL
[RinkChat] The chat room's topic has been changed to 'darker warker marker' by Sentynel.
Nyperold: A writing tool of decreased luminosity that makes chocobo noises.
Randy: hehe
Sam: It's a one-way hashing algorithm. Take the first consonants of every word, and replace the rest with "arker."
Sam: Arker arker arker-warker harker arker. Tarker tharker farker carker arker arker warker, arker rarker tharker rarker warker "arker."
ThePhan: Tharker carker, barker sarker ARKER!
Nyperold: Marker, harker brarker.
ThePhan: Warker karker sarker larker tharker Swarker Charker.
Nyperold: (Mmm, hash browns.)
Sam: LOL
ThePhan: "Mmm" -> "Mmmarker"?
Sam: Yarker.
Randy: Garker
Nyperold: Warker, arker darker harker. Tarker barker arker carker arker arker.
Sam: Nyp: I can't smurf that.
Nyperold: (Well, it's definitely hashed. Too bad I can't understand anything.)
Sam: But that's why it's a one-way hash.
Sam: You can talk in CODE.
Sam: UNINTERCEPTIBLE CODE
Sentynel: Barker, barker, barker.
Sentynel: (-the Swedish chef.)
Randy: varker, varker, varker.
Randy: (-Julius Ceasar)
Randy: barker!
Randy has left.
Goosey has entered.
Goosey: I love when I come in here and read the buffer and have NO IDEA what is going on.
ThePhan: LARKER LARKER LARKER
ThePhan: (LOL LOL LOL)
Catapultably
ThePhan: No, fingers, "catapability" is not a word. The word you want is "compatibility."
Sam: CATAPULTABLY!!
iwpg: "catapability" = "compatibility with being catapulted"
Sam: ThePhan, I must say you are looking positively catapultable tonight.
iwpg: (Sam beat.)
Sam: Mwahaha.
* ThePhan is not sure she wants to be catapultable.
Sam: Oh.
Sam: Well, I can think of a way to test and see if you are or not.
Sam: You'd rest easier knowing for sure.
Sam: Mwahaha.
iwpg: It's always nice to have the option, even if you don't want to do it for now.
Sam: CATAPULTABLY!!
iwpg: "catapability" = "compatibility with being catapulted"
Sam: ThePhan, I must say you are looking positively catapultable tonight.
iwpg: (Sam beat.)
Sam: Mwahaha.
* ThePhan is not sure she wants to be catapultable.
Sam: Oh.
Sam: Well, I can think of a way to test and see if you are or not.
Sam: You'd rest easier knowing for sure.
Sam: Mwahaha.
iwpg: It's always nice to have the option, even if you don't want to do it for now.
Corporate Speak
Sentynel: Somebody was complaining about a different stake-related saying at work today - "stakeholders", as an irritating bit of corporate speak.
Sentynel: He proposed we replace all uses of "stakeholders" with "van helsings".
Sam: Are stakeholders not just stockholders?
Sentynel: Sam: As in "stakeholders in this decision" or whatever.
Sam: That's awful.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: As a general term for people who are interested in and/or affected by something.
Sentynel: We have a page on the internal wiki which functions as a dictionary for awful corporate speak. It has a good couple of hundred entries at the moment, of varying levels of stupidity.
Sam: I hope you leverage synergies to maintain it.
Sam: ...on a going forward basis.
Sentynel: Sam: "synergies" isn't on the list, which means nobody's caught it being used, which is nice.
Goosey: Sam: Don't forget you have a paradigm in there somewhere.
Sentynel: "Leverage" and "going forward" both are, though.
Sentynel: "Paradigm" is too.
Sam: "Going forward" is mid-level stupidity, but it escalates to high-level stupidity if it modifies "basis."
Sam: I don't mind "paradigm" so much, though, because at least in my experience that's what the word actually means.
Sentynel: Other items that particularly annoy me: "upskilling", meaning "training"; "in slower time" and "in quicker time" meaning "later" and "sooner"; and "touch base" meaning "talk to" (though this one has the advantage that if somebody uses it four times in a meeting, you get to shout "home run!" at them).
Sentynel: And probably a bunch more that are currently escaping me.
Maryam: 'Going forward' is only mid-level? It sounds utterly meaningless to me.
Maryam: LOL at home run.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: "Going forward, we're going to route customer service calls through this new tool." That's not terrible, just kind of clumsy. But "We're going route customer service calls through this tool on a going forward basis." is retarded.
Sentynel: Maryam: You clearly haven't encountered the refined upper echelons of idiotic corporate speak...
Maryam: Sent: This is true.
TalkingDog: Does the meaning change if you leave "going forward" out entirely?
Maryam: So it means 'from this point in time on'? I guess there's some meaning there then.
Sam: TD: Not particularly.
Sam: But similar phrases are used in every day English. "From now on" means the same thing, is probably superfluous about as often, but doesn't make me want to punch anybody.
Sam: I have thankfully never encountered "upskilling" or "in slower time". Those are horrible.
Sam: Those terms clearly call for extended variations. Tomorrow, right before the lunch break, you should announce that you're gonna go upnourish.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: The best comment on the whole page, though, is when somebody commented that a particular item ("space", I think) had probably been pilfered from mathematical vocabulary, where it has various particular, defined meanings. Somebody commented that words with multiple precise meanings seemed to be common in maths. And the reply was the following gem:
Sentynel: "Mathematicians have a lot of meaning and a shortage of words, so they have to share multiple meanings across some words. Management have a lot of words and a shortage of meaning, so they have to share the same meaning out across multiple words."
Goosey: Sent: nice!
Maryam: Snrk.
Sam: LOL LOL
Sam: Thanks for upfunning the chat room, Sentynel.
Sam: ...That sounds unpleasant and probably obscene. I should think about up puns in slower time on a going forward basis.
Sentynel: You mean, "you value my contribution to the delivery of the overarching goal of upfunning the stand-up discussion space".
Sentynel: I'm going to go and shoot myself now.
Sam: LOL
Sam: Upskill.
Sam: Ugh, I wanna punch something.
Sentynel: Oh, you know what else I just remembered?
Sentynel: "disbenefit".
Sam: Some of the corporate terms are awful and yet don't have especially obvious or fluid natural alternatives. But, look, the word is TRAIN. You TRAIN people. SIMPLE.
Goosey: LOL
TalkingDog: I wonder if people don't want to be thought of as trained animals.
TalkingDog: Not that that excuses such a goofy word.
Sam: "Core competencies" is one I don't mind so much just because what it means doesn't have a particularly easy alternative. You can say "What we're good at," but that's harder to drop into whatever arbitrary sentence you might be saying, and "primary strengths" is somewhat more vague and not much less corporatey.
TalkingDog: "Main stats"
Sentynel: My manager's manager pointed out that if you're being trained, it implies the responsibility is on other people to train you right. But if you're upskilling, then it's your problem.
Nyperold: I should contribute to the delivery of the goal of upcleaning the moisture removal cloths.
Goosey: TD: lol
Sam: And "paradigm," as I said earlier. It's corporatey, but it also actually means something.
Sentynel: Sam: I hate "core competencies" primarily because it's meaningless bullstuff that I'm assessed on, rather than how well I'm doing my ACTUAL JOB.
TalkingDog: It'd be fun if corporate speak was replaced by gamer speak.
Sentynel: The word itself isn't particularly bad.
Goosey: TD: YES
Sentynel: Words.
Sam: Sent: I'm gonna email you my credit card number. Please book me a flight to London and arrange for a rental car and lodging near your place of work. I'll come over on a weekend, kick your manager's manager square in the privates, and fly back.
Sentynel: Sam: To be fair to the guy, he was pointing this out as a criticism of the word.
Sam: Oh.
Goosey: lol
Sam: I guess he may continue to father children then.
Sentynel: He's a decent guy, actually. But feel free to come over and kick all the people who use this sort of thing seriously.
Sam: Okay!
TalkingDog: "Upraise futurelings"
* TalkingDog is just making up words now.
Sentynel: TD: SO ARE THEY
TalkingDog: True enough.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: TD: To increase our company's rep, it is important to kite noobs rather than tank-and-spanking them.
TalkingDog: hehehe
Ticia has left.
Sam: Aww, Ticia proceded on a leaving basis.
Counterpoint: RinkChat plugin.
Sam: LOL
Sam: It could just be one of the language translations for RC.
Goosey: Sam: You misarranged the alphabetical symbolism of that word on an accidental basis, didn't you?
Sam: "Sam has conceived the chat room's mission statement to be...."
Sam: Goosey: possibly?
TalkingDog: That would rule.
Goosey: *proceeded?
Sentynel: You know what bothers me? When we're deliberately trying to produce the most ridiculous corporate speak possible... IT STILL SOUNDS LESS STUPID THAN EXAMPLES OF THE REAL THING.
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL
Sam: Huh. Why yes. Yes I did misarrange the alphabetical symbolism of that word on an accidental basis.
Ticia has entered.
Ticia: Managers need to update their verbiage periodically so that they are still relevant in a burgeoning workforce.
Sentynel: It's not a workforce any more, it's a resource.
Ticia: Dang
Sam: Sentynel, I believe it's asynchronous with our relational competencies to use the word "stupid" like that. Going forward, perhaps a paradigmatic shift to the word "downsmarting" would be less of a disbenefit.
Counterpoint: I just watch The Apartment recently. "On an accidental basis"/accidentally reminds me of how all the corporatespeak there made pseudoadverbs with -wise. Accidentwise.
Ticia: Why are they still called "Managers" that term is so archaic.
Ticia: *?
Sam: I do feel significantly downsmarted from when this conversation began.
Ticia: You need to uplearn some skillosities.
Sam: Sentynel.
Sam: Seriously, UPSKILLING?
Goosey: Sam: I am feeling upwardly sympathetic for you, downsmarted predicamentwise.
Sam: I just triple-took on that.
Sentynel: Clearly, the goal of upsmarting the team is a deferred success.
Sam: UPSKILLING?!?
Sentynel: Sam: Seriously. I know.
Maryam: Does 'deferred success' mean 'failure'?
Sam: I've been to some terrible corporate meetings before, but I don't think I've ever heard anything THAT terrible. Maybe we just use different terrible words.
Maryam: What happens to success deferred? Does it dry up, like a raisin in the sun?
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: You mean, "does it unmoisture, like an exgrape in the --" never mind. I can't do it.
Sentynel: Maryam: The approximate translation is "we screwed up big time, but if you give us twice as much money and some more people we think we can rescue it."
Ticia: Don says "So, you're not drinking, you're downsloshing."
Sam: Or is it upsloshing?
Sam: With that one it's hard to tell.
* Nyperold is returning on a coming back basis.
Sam: I'm kind of surprised "hiring" hasn't become "upsizing" yet. (Or has it?) That's kind of a giveaway that political correctness is as much a factor here as the egos of managers trying to sound smart.
Sam: We hire people and...downsize.
TalkingDog: Isn't it "rightsizing" now or something?
Ticia: We're upsizing our resources.
Maryam: TD: I was about to ask the same thing.
Sam: Rightsizing could go either way.
Sentynel: Sam: Argh, there was a really stupid word for hiring on the list. It wasn't upsizing, but I can't remember what it was.
TalkingDog: Hmm. Upstaffing?
Sam: Something about growing?
Ticia: We need to proactively envisioneer parallel interfaces.
Sam: I don't get how some people can use these terms with a straight face.
Ticia: http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html?bullstuff=you%27re+fired
Sam: I couldn't possibly, even if so directed.
Ticia: that got filtered. lol
TalkingDog: I think I've also heard "brightsizing".
Sam: hahaha
Ticia: replace the word "Stuff" with the relevant curse word.
Goosey: We need to conveniently whiteboard high-quality strategic theme areas
TalkingDog: I don't remember what it was meant to mean exactly. And it may have been a Dilbert comic.
Goosey: Ticia: The url still worked for me
Ticia: oh, good. lol
Goosey: WhizManager: quickly mesh interactive expertise!
Sentynel: Goosey: YES
Ticia: LOL
Sam: Goosey: You are upsized!
Goosey: WM: quickly mesh interactive expertise~
Ticia: I sense a new bot.
Goosey: *monotonectally brand an expanded array of paradigms
Goosey: Sam: Yay!
iwpg: LOL
Goosey: Somebody PLEASE actually make that bot
Goosey: We have InsultBot, why not ManagerBot? They could have meetings together!
Sentynel: Ticia's link reminds me of another one - 24x7x365. Meaning "constantly". This is stupid on so many levels.
Goosey: Sent: Uh.
Sam: Surely corporate speak is too complex and nuanced to be accurately simulated by a computer program.
Maryam: Sent: Wait what?
Maryam: That's terrible.
iwpg: Obviously it means 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 weeks a heptayear.
Goosey: Sam: Ticia's link does it
Maryam: iwpg: hahaha
Sam: I've heard 24-7, but not anything beyond that.
Goosey: It intrinsicly simplifies tactical infomediaries
Sentynel: I'm pretty sure you could just stick the word lists on Ticia's link into the existing Whiz code and you'd be pretty much sorted.
Sam: Yes.
Sentynel: HINT HINT
Goosey: DO IT SMA
Ticia: lol
Sam: I admit it falls within the parameters of my core competencies, but I have to leverage my time in faster time.
Sentynel: He proposed we replace all uses of "stakeholders" with "van helsings".
Sam: Are stakeholders not just stockholders?
Sentynel: Sam: As in "stakeholders in this decision" or whatever.
Sam: That's awful.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: As a general term for people who are interested in and/or affected by something.
Sentynel: We have a page on the internal wiki which functions as a dictionary for awful corporate speak. It has a good couple of hundred entries at the moment, of varying levels of stupidity.
Sam: I hope you leverage synergies to maintain it.
Sam: ...on a going forward basis.
Sentynel: Sam: "synergies" isn't on the list, which means nobody's caught it being used, which is nice.
Goosey: Sam: Don't forget you have a paradigm in there somewhere.
Sentynel: "Leverage" and "going forward" both are, though.
Sentynel: "Paradigm" is too.
Sam: "Going forward" is mid-level stupidity, but it escalates to high-level stupidity if it modifies "basis."
Sam: I don't mind "paradigm" so much, though, because at least in my experience that's what the word actually means.
Sentynel: Other items that particularly annoy me: "upskilling", meaning "training"; "in slower time" and "in quicker time" meaning "later" and "sooner"; and "touch base" meaning "talk to" (though this one has the advantage that if somebody uses it four times in a meeting, you get to shout "home run!" at them).
Sentynel: And probably a bunch more that are currently escaping me.
Maryam: 'Going forward' is only mid-level? It sounds utterly meaningless to me.
Maryam: LOL at home run.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: "Going forward, we're going to route customer service calls through this new tool." That's not terrible, just kind of clumsy. But "We're going route customer service calls through this tool on a going forward basis." is retarded.
Sentynel: Maryam: You clearly haven't encountered the refined upper echelons of idiotic corporate speak...
Maryam: Sent: This is true.
TalkingDog: Does the meaning change if you leave "going forward" out entirely?
Maryam: So it means 'from this point in time on'? I guess there's some meaning there then.
Sam: TD: Not particularly.
Sam: But similar phrases are used in every day English. "From now on" means the same thing, is probably superfluous about as often, but doesn't make me want to punch anybody.
Sam: I have thankfully never encountered "upskilling" or "in slower time". Those are horrible.
Sam: Those terms clearly call for extended variations. Tomorrow, right before the lunch break, you should announce that you're gonna go upnourish.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: The best comment on the whole page, though, is when somebody commented that a particular item ("space", I think) had probably been pilfered from mathematical vocabulary, where it has various particular, defined meanings. Somebody commented that words with multiple precise meanings seemed to be common in maths. And the reply was the following gem:
Sentynel: "Mathematicians have a lot of meaning and a shortage of words, so they have to share multiple meanings across some words. Management have a lot of words and a shortage of meaning, so they have to share the same meaning out across multiple words."
Goosey: Sent: nice!
Maryam: Snrk.
Sam: LOL LOL
Sam: Thanks for upfunning the chat room, Sentynel.
Sam: ...That sounds unpleasant and probably obscene. I should think about up puns in slower time on a going forward basis.
Sentynel: You mean, "you value my contribution to the delivery of the overarching goal of upfunning the stand-up discussion space".
Sentynel: I'm going to go and shoot myself now.
Sam: LOL
Sam: Upskill.
Sam: Ugh, I wanna punch something.
Sentynel: Oh, you know what else I just remembered?
Sentynel: "disbenefit".
Sam: Some of the corporate terms are awful and yet don't have especially obvious or fluid natural alternatives. But, look, the word is TRAIN. You TRAIN people. SIMPLE.
Goosey: LOL
TalkingDog: I wonder if people don't want to be thought of as trained animals.
TalkingDog: Not that that excuses such a goofy word.
Sam: "Core competencies" is one I don't mind so much just because what it means doesn't have a particularly easy alternative. You can say "What we're good at," but that's harder to drop into whatever arbitrary sentence you might be saying, and "primary strengths" is somewhat more vague and not much less corporatey.
TalkingDog: "Main stats"
Sentynel: My manager's manager pointed out that if you're being trained, it implies the responsibility is on other people to train you right. But if you're upskilling, then it's your problem.
Nyperold: I should contribute to the delivery of the goal of upcleaning the moisture removal cloths.
Goosey: TD: lol
Sam: And "paradigm," as I said earlier. It's corporatey, but it also actually means something.
Sentynel: Sam: I hate "core competencies" primarily because it's meaningless bullstuff that I'm assessed on, rather than how well I'm doing my ACTUAL JOB.
TalkingDog: It'd be fun if corporate speak was replaced by gamer speak.
Sentynel: The word itself isn't particularly bad.
Goosey: TD: YES
Sentynel: Words.
Sam: Sent: I'm gonna email you my credit card number. Please book me a flight to London and arrange for a rental car and lodging near your place of work. I'll come over on a weekend, kick your manager's manager square in the privates, and fly back.
Sentynel: Sam: To be fair to the guy, he was pointing this out as a criticism of the word.
Sam: Oh.
Goosey: lol
Sam: I guess he may continue to father children then.
Sentynel: He's a decent guy, actually. But feel free to come over and kick all the people who use this sort of thing seriously.
Sam: Okay!
TalkingDog: "Upraise futurelings"
* TalkingDog is just making up words now.
Sentynel: TD: SO ARE THEY
TalkingDog: True enough.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: TD: To increase our company's rep, it is important to kite noobs rather than tank-and-spanking them.
TalkingDog: hehehe
Ticia has left.
Sam: Aww, Ticia proceded on a leaving basis.
Counterpoint: RinkChat plugin.
Sam: LOL
Sam: It could just be one of the language translations for RC.
Goosey: Sam: You misarranged the alphabetical symbolism of that word on an accidental basis, didn't you?
Sam: "Sam has conceived the chat room's mission statement to be...."
Sam: Goosey: possibly?
TalkingDog: That would rule.
Goosey: *proceeded?
Sentynel: You know what bothers me? When we're deliberately trying to produce the most ridiculous corporate speak possible... IT STILL SOUNDS LESS STUPID THAN EXAMPLES OF THE REAL THING.
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL
Sam: Huh. Why yes. Yes I did misarrange the alphabetical symbolism of that word on an accidental basis.
Ticia has entered.
Ticia: Managers need to update their verbiage periodically so that they are still relevant in a burgeoning workforce.
Sentynel: It's not a workforce any more, it's a resource.
Ticia: Dang
Sam: Sentynel, I believe it's asynchronous with our relational competencies to use the word "stupid" like that. Going forward, perhaps a paradigmatic shift to the word "downsmarting" would be less of a disbenefit.
Counterpoint: I just watch The Apartment recently. "On an accidental basis"/accidentally reminds me of how all the corporatespeak there made pseudoadverbs with -wise. Accidentwise.
Ticia: Why are they still called "Managers" that term is so archaic.
Ticia: *?
Sam: I do feel significantly downsmarted from when this conversation began.
Ticia: You need to uplearn some skillosities.
Sam: Sentynel.
Sam: Seriously, UPSKILLING?
Goosey: Sam: I am feeling upwardly sympathetic for you, downsmarted predicamentwise.
Sam: I just triple-took on that.
Sentynel: Clearly, the goal of upsmarting the team is a deferred success.
Sam: UPSKILLING?!?
Sentynel: Sam: Seriously. I know.
Maryam: Does 'deferred success' mean 'failure'?
Sam: I've been to some terrible corporate meetings before, but I don't think I've ever heard anything THAT terrible. Maybe we just use different terrible words.
Maryam: What happens to success deferred? Does it dry up, like a raisin in the sun?
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: You mean, "does it unmoisture, like an exgrape in the --" never mind. I can't do it.
Sentynel: Maryam: The approximate translation is "we screwed up big time, but if you give us twice as much money and some more people we think we can rescue it."
Ticia: Don says "So, you're not drinking, you're downsloshing."
Sam: Or is it upsloshing?
Sam: With that one it's hard to tell.
* Nyperold is returning on a coming back basis.
Sam: I'm kind of surprised "hiring" hasn't become "upsizing" yet. (Or has it?) That's kind of a giveaway that political correctness is as much a factor here as the egos of managers trying to sound smart.
Sam: We hire people and...downsize.
TalkingDog: Isn't it "rightsizing" now or something?
Ticia: We're upsizing our resources.
Maryam: TD: I was about to ask the same thing.
Sam: Rightsizing could go either way.
Sentynel: Sam: Argh, there was a really stupid word for hiring on the list. It wasn't upsizing, but I can't remember what it was.
TalkingDog: Hmm. Upstaffing?
Sam: Something about growing?
Ticia: We need to proactively envisioneer parallel interfaces.
Sam: I don't get how some people can use these terms with a straight face.
Ticia: http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html?bullstuff=you%27re+fired
Sam: I couldn't possibly, even if so directed.
Ticia: that got filtered. lol
TalkingDog: I think I've also heard "brightsizing".
Sam: hahaha
Ticia: replace the word "Stuff" with the relevant curse word.
Goosey: We need to conveniently whiteboard high-quality strategic theme areas
TalkingDog: I don't remember what it was meant to mean exactly. And it may have been a Dilbert comic.
Goosey: Ticia: The url still worked for me
Ticia: oh, good. lol
Goosey: WhizManager: quickly mesh interactive expertise!
Sentynel: Goosey: YES
Ticia: LOL
Sam: Goosey: You are upsized!
Goosey: WM: quickly mesh interactive expertise~
Ticia: I sense a new bot.
Goosey: *monotonectally brand an expanded array of paradigms
Goosey: Sam: Yay!
iwpg: LOL
Goosey: Somebody PLEASE actually make that bot
Goosey: We have InsultBot, why not ManagerBot? They could have meetings together!
Sentynel: Ticia's link reminds me of another one - 24x7x365. Meaning "constantly". This is stupid on so many levels.
Goosey: Sent: Uh.
Sam: Surely corporate speak is too complex and nuanced to be accurately simulated by a computer program.
Maryam: Sent: Wait what?
Maryam: That's terrible.
iwpg: Obviously it means 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 weeks a heptayear.
Goosey: Sam: Ticia's link does it
Maryam: iwpg: hahaha
Sam: I've heard 24-7, but not anything beyond that.
Goosey: It intrinsicly simplifies tactical infomediaries
Sentynel: I'm pretty sure you could just stick the word lists on Ticia's link into the existing Whiz code and you'd be pretty much sorted.
Sam: Yes.
Sentynel: HINT HINT
Goosey: DO IT SMA
Ticia: lol
Sam: I admit it falls within the parameters of my core competencies, but I have to leverage my time in faster time.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
PINK
ThePhan: One of my friends shared a photo the other day that was one of those "Pass this on and your true love will find you" things, but it started off by saying "90% of all couples marry their junior high/high school sweetheart!"
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: I responded and said, "That may be the most wildly incorrect statistic I have read all week."
Goosey: Hahahaha
ThePhan: Her response: "Oh hahaha I just like it because it's pink!"
ThePhan: PEOPLE ARE WEIRD
Goosey: WHAT
Dave: PINK
Dave: STATS R UNIMPORTANT
Dave: PINK SI IMPORTANT
Sam: Wait, the whole couple marries their junior high/high school sweetheart?
Sam: That's kinky.
Sam: Regardless, it sounds like only 10% need to pass on that note, as the other 90% have already met their true loves.
Dave: PINK
Sam: PINK
Dave: PINK WAS THE IMPRTANT TAKEAWEY
Sam: tak-ee-ah-way
Dave: FOOD
iwpg: PINK
Sam: PINK
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: I responded and said, "That may be the most wildly incorrect statistic I have read all week."
Goosey: Hahahaha
ThePhan: Her response: "Oh hahaha I just like it because it's pink!"
ThePhan: PEOPLE ARE WEIRD
Goosey: WHAT
Dave: PINK
Dave: STATS R UNIMPORTANT
Dave: PINK SI IMPORTANT
Sam: Wait, the whole couple marries their junior high/high school sweetheart?
Sam: That's kinky.
Sam: Regardless, it sounds like only 10% need to pass on that note, as the other 90% have already met their true loves.
Dave: PINK
Sam: PINK
Dave: PINK WAS THE IMPRTANT TAKEAWEY
Sam: tak-ee-ah-way
Dave: FOOD
iwpg: PINK
Sam: PINK
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Marriage Is Work
ThePhan: Heh. One of my friends is, I think, really concerned that I don't understand how much work marriage is or something. She keeps telling me and I keep being like, "Yeah, but we'll be good," and she's like, "No, it's really difficult sometimes," and I'm like, "I know," and she's like, "You'll have to work really hard to make it work," and I'm like, "I THINK WE WILL BE OKAY."
ThePhan: People spouting marriage advice at me is weird. People freaking out that I'm not taking them seriously is weirder.
Randy: Maybe she should learn when to stop? hehe
ThePhan: I think she's just concerned because I suspect *she* went into her marriage not expecting work, and so she's trying to make sure I avoid that.
Ticia: Maybe she is expecting you to come to your senses and call off the wedding? "Oh, you are right, I hadn't thought about how much WORK it would be before I said yes! I shall renounce my marriage and move to a nunnery right away!"
Randy: GET THEE TO A NUNNERY
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: But even the kinds of stuff she's telling me we need to do is totally different, because she is nothing like either me or Jacob. She's super high-maintenance, and she's very different from her husband.
ThePhan: So her advice is things like, "I bet you guys have trouble communicating because you just don't understand each other," and that's really not the case.
Sentynel: CANCEL ALL RELATIONSHIPS IMMEDIATELY
Sentynel: TURNS OUT PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED
Ticia: Hah!
ThePhan: LOL
Maryam: LOL
Sam: Phan: People are really weird. My advice is to just be polite and smile and nod and also to remember that marriage is work, like, I mean, you really have to work at it a lot all the time and it's hard work too.
ThePhan: Or, "Sometimes you're going to have to learn to leave each other alone," and I'm like WE ARE BOTH INTROVERTS. This is not a concept we are unclear on.
ThePhan: Sam: LOL, thanks.
Sam: NO PROBLEM.
Sam: i MEAN, THERE IS A PROBLEM.
Sam: IT TAKES WOOORRRRRK, I TELL YOU.
Ticia: No, marriage is sunshine and roses.
Sam: I agree with that. It's million degree heat and flowers that die in a couple days.
Sam: I kid, of course.
Sam: No, marriage is actually WROK. It's an adventure game where every option is "Be weird."
(We talked seriously for a little bit about legitimate things to worry about in relationships, and how weird it is when people get worried that Jacob and I haven't ever had a fight.)
Sam: You seem to me like you're a pretty practical person and not ever the delusion you'll NEVER fight, which I suppose is the case for some people.
ThePhan: Sam: Yeah, if we waited until we had a fight to make this happen, we'd be waiting for ages to get married. We're both kind of conflict-avoidy, but we've discussed at length how we *do* react to conflict and how we should approach it if we need to confront the other about something, that kind of thing.
ThePhan: So I'm pretty comfortable with that.
Sam: TP: It does not surprise me that you have talked it out and made that judgment. Like I said, you seem pretty practical and grounded to me.
Sam: ON THE OTHER HAND, MARRIAGE IS WORRRRRRRRRRRRRK. I DO NOT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THIS YET
.
.
.
* ThePhan is talking to Jacob right now and sharing this whole conversation.
Sentynel: Jacob: YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO START A FIGHT WITH HER BEFORE YOU'RE MARRIED
ThePhan: Sent: LOL LOL
Ticia: Fight!
Sentynel: I'm disturbed by how many of my contributions to this conversation have been ALLCAPS.
ThePhan: He says, "Uh, okay. I guess I'll think about that."
Ticia: Jacob: MARRIAGE IS A LOT OF WORK ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY I MEAN IT IS *A LOT* OF WORK.
ThePhan: He says, "I change my opinions a lot. Maybe I can change my opinion on something really big that's really important to you, so we can fight about it!"
Ticia: There you go
ThePhan: Maybe we can fight tonight!
Ticia: Maybe he can be an extrovert.
Sentynel: I'm now slightly concerned that Jacob's only encounter with me may have led him to think I'm a little strange.
ThePhan: People spouting marriage advice at me is weird. People freaking out that I'm not taking them seriously is weirder.
Randy: Maybe she should learn when to stop? hehe
ThePhan: I think she's just concerned because I suspect *she* went into her marriage not expecting work, and so she's trying to make sure I avoid that.
Ticia: Maybe she is expecting you to come to your senses and call off the wedding? "Oh, you are right, I hadn't thought about how much WORK it would be before I said yes! I shall renounce my marriage and move to a nunnery right away!"
Randy: GET THEE TO A NUNNERY
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: But even the kinds of stuff she's telling me we need to do is totally different, because she is nothing like either me or Jacob. She's super high-maintenance, and she's very different from her husband.
ThePhan: So her advice is things like, "I bet you guys have trouble communicating because you just don't understand each other," and that's really not the case.
Sentynel: CANCEL ALL RELATIONSHIPS IMMEDIATELY
Sentynel: TURNS OUT PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED
Ticia: Hah!
ThePhan: LOL
Maryam: LOL
Sam: Phan: People are really weird. My advice is to just be polite and smile and nod and also to remember that marriage is work, like, I mean, you really have to work at it a lot all the time and it's hard work too.
ThePhan: Or, "Sometimes you're going to have to learn to leave each other alone," and I'm like WE ARE BOTH INTROVERTS. This is not a concept we are unclear on.
ThePhan: Sam: LOL, thanks.
Sam: NO PROBLEM.
Sam: i MEAN, THERE IS A PROBLEM.
Sam: IT TAKES WOOORRRRRK, I TELL YOU.
Ticia: No, marriage is sunshine and roses.
Sam: I agree with that. It's million degree heat and flowers that die in a couple days.
Sam: I kid, of course.
Sam: No, marriage is actually WROK. It's an adventure game where every option is "Be weird."
(We talked seriously for a little bit about legitimate things to worry about in relationships, and how weird it is when people get worried that Jacob and I haven't ever had a fight.)
Sam: You seem to me like you're a pretty practical person and not ever the delusion you'll NEVER fight, which I suppose is the case for some people.
ThePhan: Sam: Yeah, if we waited until we had a fight to make this happen, we'd be waiting for ages to get married. We're both kind of conflict-avoidy, but we've discussed at length how we *do* react to conflict and how we should approach it if we need to confront the other about something, that kind of thing.
ThePhan: So I'm pretty comfortable with that.
Sam: TP: It does not surprise me that you have talked it out and made that judgment. Like I said, you seem pretty practical and grounded to me.
Sam: ON THE OTHER HAND, MARRIAGE IS WORRRRRRRRRRRRRK. I DO NOT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THIS YET
.
.
.
* ThePhan is talking to Jacob right now and sharing this whole conversation.
Sentynel: Jacob: YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO START A FIGHT WITH HER BEFORE YOU'RE MARRIED
ThePhan: Sent: LOL LOL
Ticia: Fight!
Sentynel: I'm disturbed by how many of my contributions to this conversation have been ALLCAPS.
ThePhan: He says, "Uh, okay. I guess I'll think about that."
Ticia: Jacob: MARRIAGE IS A LOT OF WORK ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY I MEAN IT IS *A LOT* OF WORK.
ThePhan: He says, "I change my opinions a lot. Maybe I can change my opinion on something really big that's really important to you, so we can fight about it!"
Ticia: There you go
ThePhan: Maybe we can fight tonight!
Ticia: Maybe he can be an extrovert.
Sentynel: I'm now slightly concerned that Jacob's only encounter with me may have led him to think I'm a little strange.
Not a Fake
Sentynel: Spam email title: "Your UniversityMBADiploma. Actual, not a fake"
Sentynel: Amusingly, this somehow bypassed the spam filter.
Sam: Congratulations on your new degree!
Sentynel: Thanks.
Sentynel: I feel like I really earned this one.
TalkingDog: I read that as "University M BADiploma". It sounded awesome.
.
.
.
ThePhan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOOSEY
ThePhan: For real now :-)
Goosey: Yay thank you :D
Sam: Happy birthday and all, but let's not take the spotlight from Sentynel. He earned a degree today.
Sam: Sentynel, congratulations on receiving a spam!
Sentynel: THank you, thank you.
Goosey: Yay Sentynel!
Sentynel: Happy birthday Goosey!
Sentynel: (Hopefully your birthday wasn't announced via spam email.)
Sam: You have a birthday! (Not a fake.)
Sentynel: Amusingly, this somehow bypassed the spam filter.
Sam: Congratulations on your new degree!
Sentynel: Thanks.
Sentynel: I feel like I really earned this one.
TalkingDog: I read that as "University M BADiploma". It sounded awesome.
.
.
.
ThePhan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOOSEY
ThePhan: For real now :-)
Goosey: Yay thank you :D
Sam: Happy birthday and all, but let's not take the spotlight from Sentynel. He earned a degree today.
Sam: Sentynel, congratulations on receiving a spam!
Sentynel: THank you, thank you.
Goosey: Yay Sentynel!
Sentynel: Happy birthday Goosey!
Sentynel: (Hopefully your birthday wasn't announced via spam email.)
Sam: You have a birthday! (Not a fake.)
Little Kids Saying Things Wrong
Ticia: Joseph just asked me how a bulldog would kill you. So I asked him why he wanted to know, since it was so out of the blue. He said "Well, someday when I grow up and get married, my kids might want to know..."
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: He's thinking ahead.
ThePhan: It's like one of my favorite Seth stories, when we were working on correcting his speech impediment where his Ls came out as Ys (like = yike).
ThePhan: We were practicing different words and trying to get him to save them correctly, and he suddenly panicked and yelled, "I have to practice the word 'love'!"
ThePhan: "Why?"
ThePhan: "For when I get my wife!"
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: Ha!
ThePhan: We reassured him he had plenty of time to practice before that happened.
Ticia: Thomas has the same problem.
ThePhan: Er, and say them correctly. Not save.
Ticia: He says w instead of L, though.
ThePhan: Most kids I know do that. The Ls get turned into Ws.
Ticia: "Mom, can I sit on your wap?" "I don't have a wap. I have a lap, though.
ThePhan: Seth's was just funky.
Ticia: So we practice. He can say La. "La La La Wap!"
ThePhan: Since he also couldn't say his Rs (they turned into Ws), I discovered once that it made the words "clueless" and "curious" sounded exactly the same.
ThePhan: He kept talking once about somebody who was "cyueyess," and I kept going, "Curious?" "No! Cyueyess!" "...Curious?" "NO! Yike, without a cyue!"
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: LOL
* LaZorra comes back to the qindow and cracks up.
Nyperold: Qindows sure are funny!
Sam: My nephew learned the word "truck" before he could pronounce "tr" properly. So it would come out "kuck." But then when he learned the "tr" sound, he still kept saying "kuck," because by then that word was ingrained. So then he learned other "tr" words that he pronounced properly. Ultimately, he would be able to tell me that a certain vehicle was a "tractor-trailor kuck."
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: My tr sound came out as an f sound, when I was a kid.
Goosey: oops
Ticia: I didn't understand why mom didn't want me saying truck...
Ticia: :-D
Goosey: lol
LaZorra: Ticia: LOL
Goosey: My sister Katie just mixed up consonants all over the place
Goosey: Her favorite Disney princess was "Seeping Blooty"
Goosey: She wore a "shimming flute" to the pool
Goosey: The place where her arm bent was her "oboe"
Goosey: She ate kitchen in the chicken
Goosey: And she said "fish" backwards
Goosey: So when she (loudly) told my dad to feed the fish (and confused "feed" with "eat") it came out rather badly
Ticia: haha
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: He's thinking ahead.
ThePhan: It's like one of my favorite Seth stories, when we were working on correcting his speech impediment where his Ls came out as Ys (like = yike).
ThePhan: We were practicing different words and trying to get him to save them correctly, and he suddenly panicked and yelled, "I have to practice the word 'love'!"
ThePhan: "Why?"
ThePhan: "For when I get my wife!"
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: Ha!
ThePhan: We reassured him he had plenty of time to practice before that happened.
Ticia: Thomas has the same problem.
ThePhan: Er, and say them correctly. Not save.
Ticia: He says w instead of L, though.
ThePhan: Most kids I know do that. The Ls get turned into Ws.
Ticia: "Mom, can I sit on your wap?" "I don't have a wap. I have a lap, though.
ThePhan: Seth's was just funky.
Ticia: So we practice. He can say La. "La La La Wap!"
ThePhan: Since he also couldn't say his Rs (they turned into Ws), I discovered once that it made the words "clueless" and "curious" sounded exactly the same.
ThePhan: He kept talking once about somebody who was "cyueyess," and I kept going, "Curious?" "No! Cyueyess!" "...Curious?" "NO! Yike, without a cyue!"
Ticia: LOL
Goosey: LOL
* LaZorra comes back to the qindow and cracks up.
Nyperold: Qindows sure are funny!
Sam: My nephew learned the word "truck" before he could pronounce "tr" properly. So it would come out "kuck." But then when he learned the "tr" sound, he still kept saying "kuck," because by then that word was ingrained. So then he learned other "tr" words that he pronounced properly. Ultimately, he would be able to tell me that a certain vehicle was a "tractor-trailor kuck."
Goosey: LOL
Ticia: My tr sound came out as an f sound, when I was a kid.
Goosey: oops
Ticia: I didn't understand why mom didn't want me saying truck...
Ticia: :-D
Goosey: lol
LaZorra: Ticia: LOL
Goosey: My sister Katie just mixed up consonants all over the place
Goosey: Her favorite Disney princess was "Seeping Blooty"
Goosey: She wore a "shimming flute" to the pool
Goosey: The place where her arm bent was her "oboe"
Goosey: She ate kitchen in the chicken
Goosey: And she said "fish" backwards
Goosey: So when she (loudly) told my dad to feed the fish (and confused "feed" with "eat") it came out rather badly
Ticia: haha
Projer Orpber
LaZorra: WhOA: http://english.stackexchange.com/quest...5/what-is-the-rule-for-adjective-order
LaZorra: Adjectives have a projer orpber?
Goosey: a what? lol
LaZorra: er, proper order
Randy: hehe
Sam: Hey, hey, settle down, people!
Sam: Settle down!
Sam: Orpber! Orpber!
Goosey: LOL
Nyperold: Yes, we must do this projerly.
Sam: Good grief. Google for "projer orpber," and it figures out you probably meant "proper order." ???
Goosey: eek
Goosey: Sam: Google speaks LaZorra!
Sam: Oh, this explains it. Google Translate has a "LaZorra" language option.
Sam: So it knows.
Goosey: lol
Randy: haha
LaZorra: :-p
LaZorra: YOU SO FUNNY SMA
LaZorra: Adjectives have a projer orpber?
Goosey: a what? lol
LaZorra: er, proper order
Randy: hehe
Sam: Hey, hey, settle down, people!
Sam: Settle down!
Sam: Orpber! Orpber!
Goosey: LOL
Nyperold: Yes, we must do this projerly.
Sam: Good grief. Google for "projer orpber," and it figures out you probably meant "proper order." ???
Goosey: eek
Goosey: Sam: Google speaks LaZorra!
Sam: Oh, this explains it. Google Translate has a "LaZorra" language option.
Sam: So it knows.
Goosey: lol
Randy: haha
LaZorra: :-p
LaZorra: YOU SO FUNNY SMA
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Goosey Can't Keep Her Eyes
Goosey: Okay, it's literally hard to keep my eyes, so night!
Goosey has left.
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: ...Goosey can't keep her eyes?
ThePhan: Literally?
ThePhan: This sounds like a problem.
Dave: TP: I was just thinking the same thing. That's scary.
Randy: LOL LOL
(The next morning. The previous conversation was still on the buffer.)
Goosey has entered.
Goosey: Ticia memoed that to me, Sam memoed that to me, Phan posted it on my facebook . . .
Goosey: I'm happy to report that I still have my eyes . . .
Sam: LOL!!
Sam: And then you come in before it's scrolled off the buffer anyway.
Goosey: Ayup.
Goosey has left.
Randy: LOL
ThePhan: ...Goosey can't keep her eyes?
ThePhan: Literally?
ThePhan: This sounds like a problem.
Dave: TP: I was just thinking the same thing. That's scary.
Randy: LOL LOL
(The next morning. The previous conversation was still on the buffer.)
Goosey has entered.
Goosey: Ticia memoed that to me, Sam memoed that to me, Phan posted it on my facebook . . .
Goosey: I'm happy to report that I still have my eyes . . .
Sam: LOL!!
Sam: And then you come in before it's scrolled off the buffer anyway.
Goosey: Ayup.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Resume 79
ThePhan has entered.
ThePhan: resume 79
ThePhan: Well, that's helpful.
Goosey: /
Goosey: ?
ThePhan: That was meant to be a / command. Heh.
Sam: 1979 HAS BEEN RESUMED.
Sam: Whoa.
Sam: Somebody had paused 1979 in October and zipped ahead to 1980.
Sam: NOW WE'RE BACK TO THE FINISH THE JOB.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: And sure enough, RinkChat in 1979 is the same as it always is.
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: resume 79
ThePhan: Well, that's helpful.
Goosey: /
Goosey: ?
ThePhan: That was meant to be a / command. Heh.
Sam: 1979 HAS BEEN RESUMED.
Sam: Whoa.
Sam: Somebody had paused 1979 in October and zipped ahead to 1980.
Sam: NOW WE'RE BACK TO THE FINISH THE JOB.
Goosey: LOL
Sam: And sure enough, RinkChat in 1979 is the same as it always is.
ThePhan: LOL
Saturday, March 23, 2013
The Most Comfortable Way to Write
Sentynel: https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/482379_10152634343220484_2050995136_n.jpg
Goosey: I think I shall buy them one at a time.
Sam: Wait, why would you want more than one anyway?
Goosey: I DO NOT KNOW lol
Dave: I want to write more than one novel.
Dave: Duh.
Sam: Surely they make software reusable.
Dave: Sam: Clearly this is not. You need a new copy for every novel you intend to write.
Dave: Also, make sure you write your novel laying on the couch on your stomach, with your face precariously perched on your fist while typing one handed.
Sam: I do.
Goosey: While somebody else is making tea in the backgroun
Goosey: d
Dave: I find that's the most comfortable way to write.
Dave: On the couch, in an uncomfortable position, while someone else is banging around in the kitchen.
Goosey: LOL
Goosey: I think I shall buy them one at a time.
Sam: Wait, why would you want more than one anyway?
Goosey: I DO NOT KNOW lol
Dave: I want to write more than one novel.
Dave: Duh.
Sam: Surely they make software reusable.
Dave: Sam: Clearly this is not. You need a new copy for every novel you intend to write.
Dave: Also, make sure you write your novel laying on the couch on your stomach, with your face precariously perched on your fist while typing one handed.
Sam: I do.
Goosey: While somebody else is making tea in the backgroun
Goosey: d
Dave: I find that's the most comfortable way to write.
Dave: On the couch, in an uncomfortable position, while someone else is banging around in the kitchen.
Goosey: LOL
Monday, March 11, 2013
Better Feathers
ThePhan: Two of my married friends have apparently decided having two Facebook accounts was just ridiculous, and they now have one of those accounts where the first name is both their names hyphenated.
* ThePhan is not a fan of when people do that.
Sam: I don't understand why you would.
Sam: Like, maybe I want to talk to one of you and not the other, but now I don't know who I'm gonna reach.
Sam: And what if you're interested in reading different things from your friends? Or maybe you want to read the same things, but now you can't track what you've seen and what you haven't.
Kalimeris: BESIDES, then you don't get to have a cool "married to ________" link on your profile. Relationship status is the best part of facebook!
Kalimeris: THE. BEST. PART. hehehe
ThePhan: Kali: LOL
Goosey: I haven't had a relationship status change since before Facebook was invented.
Goosey: So yeah. I'd vote that there are better feathers
Goosey: *features
ThePhan: LOL, I was trying to figure out what you meant.
Goosey: hehehe
Goosey: FACEBOOK HAD TEH BETS FATHERS
Goosey: *FEATHERS
Goosey: LAZORRA WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME
ThePhan: LOL LOL
ThePhan: The new Facebook spinoff: "Fathers and Feathers."
* ThePhan is not a fan of when people do that.
Sam: I don't understand why you would.
Sam: Like, maybe I want to talk to one of you and not the other, but now I don't know who I'm gonna reach.
Sam: And what if you're interested in reading different things from your friends? Or maybe you want to read the same things, but now you can't track what you've seen and what you haven't.
Kalimeris: BESIDES, then you don't get to have a cool "married to ________" link on your profile. Relationship status is the best part of facebook!
Kalimeris: THE. BEST. PART. hehehe
ThePhan: Kali: LOL
Goosey: I haven't had a relationship status change since before Facebook was invented.
Goosey: So yeah. I'd vote that there are better feathers
Goosey: *features
ThePhan: LOL, I was trying to figure out what you meant.
Goosey: hehehe
Goosey: FACEBOOK HAD TEH BETS FATHERS
Goosey: *FEATHERS
Goosey: LAZORRA WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME
ThePhan: LOL LOL
ThePhan: The new Facebook spinoff: "Fathers and Feathers."
Kalilike
Kalimeris has left.
ThePhan: KALIMERIS LEFT I FORGOT TO TELL HER I HAD A DREAM ABOUT HER THE OTHER NIGHT
ThePhan: It was a weird one.
Sam: Did she say, "Life ain't nuthin' but big bucks and a big bad bottle of beer!" ?
ThePhan: I found out her real last name was Kalilike. And I started abbreviating her last name to just "Like" because I said I wanted to "like Like" on Facebook all the time. And then I started thinking of all these other things that sound like "like," and just kept saying all these nonsensical sentences at Kali, and she was getting annoyed.
Goosey: LOL LOL
Sam: That doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely.
ThePhan: I also dreamed I invited her to my wedding, but she was living at home, and her mom got the save-the-date, thought Kali was dead for some reason, and forwarded it to a nonexistent United States state (its postal abbreviation was SO) because that's where she thought Kali was buried.
ThePhan: I asked Kali about this, and she was like, "Yeah, my mom does that all the time. It's getting really annoying."
Sam: You used to have catchy dreams.
Sam: "I like to flirt...with dirt."
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: I forgot about flirting with dirt.
ThePhan: KALIMERIS LEFT I FORGOT TO TELL HER I HAD A DREAM ABOUT HER THE OTHER NIGHT
ThePhan: It was a weird one.
Sam: Did she say, "Life ain't nuthin' but big bucks and a big bad bottle of beer!" ?
ThePhan: I found out her real last name was Kalilike. And I started abbreviating her last name to just "Like" because I said I wanted to "like Like" on Facebook all the time. And then I started thinking of all these other things that sound like "like," and just kept saying all these nonsensical sentences at Kali, and she was getting annoyed.
Goosey: LOL LOL
Sam: That doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely.
ThePhan: I also dreamed I invited her to my wedding, but she was living at home, and her mom got the save-the-date, thought Kali was dead for some reason, and forwarded it to a nonexistent United States state (its postal abbreviation was SO) because that's where she thought Kali was buried.
ThePhan: I asked Kali about this, and she was like, "Yeah, my mom does that all the time. It's getting really annoying."
Sam: You used to have catchy dreams.
Sam: "I like to flirt...with dirt."
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: I forgot about flirting with dirt.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
! Visitors
Sam: I don't understand how people can process web statistics usefully.
Sam: Every time I think they tell me something, I later decide it was just statistical noise.
Sam: I'm fairly certain, after studying yesterday's traffic stats carefully, that there were some numbers.
Sam: The number of ads I served was a number, as were the counts of page loads and unique visitors.
Sam: Not that past performance is indicative of future returns, but the way things are going I am reasonably confident that the page impression count for today will also turn out to be a number.
Dave: Sam: Don't be hasty. It could be a letter. Or even a symbol.
Dave: You might get } visitors today.
wintermute: Nah, it won't be more than :.
Dave: Imagine if you got ! visitors!
Sam: Rule!
wintermute: !
Sentynel: You could get i visitors.
Sam: Someday I might even get 1111111!!! visitors.
Sam: Or !!!!!!!!!!!11
Sam: Every time I think they tell me something, I later decide it was just statistical noise.
Sam: I'm fairly certain, after studying yesterday's traffic stats carefully, that there were some numbers.
Sam: The number of ads I served was a number, as were the counts of page loads and unique visitors.
Sam: Not that past performance is indicative of future returns, but the way things are going I am reasonably confident that the page impression count for today will also turn out to be a number.
Dave: Sam: Don't be hasty. It could be a letter. Or even a symbol.
Dave: You might get } visitors today.
wintermute: Nah, it won't be more than :.
Dave: Imagine if you got ! visitors!
Sam: Rule!
wintermute: !
Sentynel: You could get i visitors.
Sam: Someday I might even get 1111111!!! visitors.
Sam: Or !!!!!!!!!!!11
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