Egg, Chips and Phan

ThePhan has entered.
Sessie: Phan!
Goosey: Phan!
Sentynel: Hi Phan
Sentynel: !
Sessie: Whenever Phan enters, I feel like we all turn into Terry Jones in that Monty Python SPAM sketch.
Sessie: PHAN PHAN PHAN PHAN PHAN
ThePhan: LOL
ThePhan: Works for me.
Sentynel: Phan, egg and chips?
Sentynel: Egg, chips and Phan?
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: Phan, Phan, Phan, Phan, Phan, Phan, baked beans and Phan?
Sentynel: Phan no longer looks like a word.
Sentynel: Not that it technically was to start with, but y'know.
Sessie: LOL
ThePhan: Hehe
* Revan has the Phan, Phan, sausage and Phan.

The Quest for Skye (As Performed By Rinkies)

Goosey: PHAN if there is ever another RU, you must put together a small QFS script and we'll all act it!
Sentynel: LOL LOL LOL
Sentynel: That is AMAZING.
ThePhan: Goosey: LOL that would be amazing.
10Kan: Oh gosh, this is like the Eye of Argon game.
* 10Kan volunteers to read Skye's lines in the lowest, rumbliest voice he can muster.
Goosey: hahaha
TalkingDog: If you talk into a Pringles can, you'll sound like Vader.
Goosey: hahahaha
Sentynel: As the proud owner of a British accent, I believe I'm qualified to play the villains.
10Kan: The Greek villains. Perfect.
ThePhan: Sent: It's hard to tell who the villains *are* in this book, but I believe you'd be playing Every Greek Citizen.
Sentynel: Phan: Pretty much, yes.
Sentynel: This has the extra bonus that I will have to attempt the lines about hacking with a straight face.
Sentynel: Which is basically guaranteed to end hilariously.
* 10Kan giggles.
ThePhan: LOL
Goosey: Hahahah

Blood!

ThePhan: Heh, so Jacob's playing Animal Crossing and just got an opportunity to change one of the characters' catch phrases.
ThePhan: He changed it to "Blood!"
TalkingDog: hehe
ThePhan: The character is REALLY excited about this.
Sentynel: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
ThePhan: "I can't wait to run up to people and yell, 'Blood!'"
sessie: LOL
Goosey: LOL

Subtitle Goofs

ThePhan: LOL, the subtitles on this movie I downloaded are terrible.
ThePhan: The actual line: "He's straight out of medical school. I've treated ten times the patients he has."
ThePhan: The subtitles: "He strayed out of medical school. I've treated ten tenths the patients he has."
wpg: Heh.
Randy: hehe
Goosey: lol
iwpg: My favourite subtitle goof is from an episode of Charmed - one of the sisters mentioned a "vanquishing potion" (as they do), and the subtitles turned it into a "vague wishing potion".
ThePhan: LOL
Randy: haha!
ThePhan: That's that wishing potion from EVERY show/movie/book about magic ever, where they make a wish and then because they weren't specific enough things go crazy.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: I have a Broadway songs concert DVD that I bought on eBay and it turned out to be a Chinese bootleg. The subtitles were not as bad as I expected, but a few were terrible and awesome.
ThePhan: One song from Gypsy is all about this woman who is trying to borrow $88 from her father so she can help get her kid into show business. In the song, she keeps singing, "All that I need is 88 bucks, Papa, only 88 bucks."
ThePhan: The subtitles replace "bucks" with "bugs" every time.

Mario's...

TitleBot: Make up the name of a video game using the word Mario's and words in your hand. (3/* accepted)
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TitleBot: Time's up! Vote for the best submission. (You can't vote for yourself!)
TitleBot: Vote 1 for Mario's Kicking City.
TitleBot: Vote 2 for Mario's Macho Babes and Lavish Bimbos.
TitleBot: Vote 3 for Mario's Pyjamarama.
TitleBot: Vote 4 for Mario's Face Bustin'.
TitleBot: Vote 5 for Mario's Geese Escape.
TitleBot: Vote 6 for Mario's Road: the Bad Flat.
TitleBot: Vote 7 for Sonic Assault: Mario's Glory.
TitleBot: Vote 8 for Mario's Gotham Vice.
TitleBot: Vote 9 for Mario's Supernatural Star Ponies.
TitleBot: Vote 10 for Mario's Giant Face.
Maryam: LOL
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Maryam: oh gosh these are all amazing
ThePhan: HOW DO I CHOOSE BETWEEN 2 AND 10?
ThePhan: vote 2
niekie: vote 10
Maryam: vote 4
Goosey: vote 2
Goosey: vote 3
Nyperold: vote 7
Goosey: hm 2 and 5 and 9 and 10
Goosey: oh heck hm all of them
Maryam: HM ALL OF THEM.
ThePhan: These were so awesome.

Worst Teacher Ever

ThePhan: Heh, FB friend posts this: "Crowd Sourcing: If you were teaching a creative writing class to women who, for the most part, probably only have a GED or below in terms of education what would your activities look like?"
ThePhan: Gets a bunch of helpful ideas.
ThePhan: She follows up: "Awesome! Thank you both. I don't doubt that any of them can write and create wonderfully. I just want to make them feel like this is something they can't do."
ThePhan: Suddenly WORST TEACHER EVER
ThePhan: This is why proofreading is important.
Goosey: HAHAHAHA
Goosey: Should be easy. First day of class, "You are LOSERS! STOP TRYING TO WRITE AND CREATE!"
ThePhan: "My students believe in themselves too much. How can I make them feel like crap?"

Fly River Dance

BlankBot: How do you think Goosey completed the following? river ______
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BlankBot: How do you think Erasmus completed the following? ______ dance
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* ThePhan has now gotten to submit "river dance" twice.
BlankBot: How do you think ThePhan completed the following? fly ______
* ThePhan did not submit "river dance" for this one.
ThePhan: Fly river dance is not a thing.
Goosey: LOL
Maryam: LOL
ThePhan: Although if you put "fly river dance," I will vote for it.
BlankBot: Time's up! Vote for the best answer. (You can't vote for yourself!)
BlankBot: Vote 1 for fly fishing.
BlankBot: Vote 2 for fly you fools.
BlankBot: Vote 3 for fly me to the moon.
BlankBot: Vote 4 for fly on the wall.
BlankBot: Vote 5 for fly paper.
BlankBot: Vote 6 for fly river dance.
ThePhan: LOL YAY
ThePhan: vote 6

The True Love Bra

Goosey: ... wow. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/...men-really-want-then-insults-them.html
ThePhan: LOL, yes, Jacob and I were discussing that the other day and how it's a terrible idea.
ThePhan: He referred to it as a "chastity bra," which, yup, is kind of the premise.
Goosey: hahaha
Goosey: Which is faulty to start with because unhooking a bra is only ONE way to get one off.
ThePhan: And, yeah, I had the same thought about, "What about when the heart rate is elevated for other reasons?"
Goosey: yeah hahaha
Goosey: Such as . . .giving a presentation at work? hahaha
ThePhan: It would be SERIOUSLY awkward and uncomfortable to have that suddenly come undone during a workout.
ThePhan: LOL OR YES
ThePhan: IF YOUR HEART RATE IS ELEVATED BECAUSE YOU'RE NERVOUS
ThePhan: That would be the worst one of all time.
ThePhan: I forget, do you watch The IT Crowd?
Goosey: Also, "physio-emotional stimulation" != True Love
Goosey: YES HAHAHA I love that episode
ThePhan: Hehehe
ThePhan: That's what it makes me think of.
Goosey: At best, it looks like a novelty toy. "Let's see if you can make my bra pop off" "Okay!"
ThePhan: LOL, right?
ThePhan: I feel like that's all it would be good for. Just goofing off with it.
Sentynel: Even assuming it worked, having your bra immediately pop off the moment you see your true love could cause some issues.
Goosey: hehehe
Goosey: Sent: YES
ThePhan: Sent: LOL YES
ThePhan: "How do you know if a girl really likes you?" "Well, sometimes, her bra will just fall off."
ThePhan: Love advice for the technological future.
Goosey: "Well, hello there . . . 8-. excuse me . . . bye . . . " *slinks away, clutching at boobs*
Goosey: hahaha
Sentynel: Well, it'd mean you could optimise dating pretty effectively.
Sentynel: Just line up a whole bunch of people and get them to walk past each other.
Goosey: ... wha? How so?
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: LOL
Sentynel: If at any point someone's bra pops off, you've found a match, and you remove those two from the set.
Goosey: No no no, that's a flawed plan.
Goosey: How does the girl know the guy is interested? None of his clothes are falling off automatically.
Sentynel: I'm assuming true love is reciprocal by definition, here.
Goosey: exactly
ThePhan: Oh, there we go.
Goosey: Which it isn't.
ThePhan: So he HAS to love her if her bra is coming off.
ThePhan: That's how that works.
ThePhan: It's like true love's kiss from fairy tales.
Sentynel: Well, if that's not the case, you just put the bras on the guys too and wait for a pair to pop off.
Goosey: LOL LOL LOL
ThePhan: LOL LOL
Sentynel: I'm sure they can deal with wearing a bra for a few minutes in the quest for true love.
ThePhan: Any guy who would go to a dating service where they agree to wear a techie bra so they can find true love is a guy worth having.
Goosey: I think we win the contest of Plans for Most Awkward Speed Dating Theme EVER
Sentynel: The real problems start when somebody figures out how to hack these things and cause, say, every speed dater's bra to pop off simultaneously.
ThePhan: EVERYONE IS IN LOVE WITH EVERYONE
Goosey: "Wait! No! I wasn't . . . GET OFF ME!"
Goosey: "But . . .your bra . . ." "MALFUNCTIONED!"
Goosey: "DOES ANYBODY HAVE A SAFETY PIN?"
ThePhan: I feel like the best idea would be to wear an emergency bra over the techie one.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: Ya know, just to keep everything in place in case of mishap.
Goosey: Is'nt that what all bras are for?
[RinkChat] User Goosey has been kicked from the room by Goosey.
Goosey has left.
Goosey has entered.
ThePhan: LOL
Sentynel: Seems like you could optimise the whole thing by taking the bra part out and just keeping the detector. Have it light up in the presence of your true love or something.
Sentynel: Much less awkward.
Goosey: Sent: YES
Goosey: Maybe, like, it releases a tiny confetti shower or something
ThePhan: OK, I have to tell one of my very favorite awkward stories about a friend from school. (I'm pretty sure Goosey's heard this one.)
ThePhan: A friend and I were eating with a male acquaintance.
Sentynel: Did his bra pop off at an inconvenient moment?
ThePhan: LOL, not quite.
ThePhan: We were having a discussion that, somehow, got around to the topic of nude volleyball.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: My roomie said that not only sounded very sandy, but also kinda painful. I agreed.
ThePhan: My male acquaintance asked, "Why?"
Goosey: hahaha
ThePhan: Roomie says, "Well, dear, some body parts just... aren't meant to bounce like that."
ThePhan: He gets an extremely confused look on his face and says, "But... I thought that's what they were FOR."
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: HE WAS MISINFORMED
Maryam: LOL
Sentynel: LOL

Sugar and Concrete

Sentynel: TIL sugar stops concrete from setting.
Goosey: weird!
Goosey: Is that what they did for the underground station? Pour sugar all over it while they cleaned it up?
Sentynel: 0.04% sugar can approximately double the time taken to set, and 1% sugar is enough to effectively stop it setting entirely.
Sentynel: Yup!
Goosey: wow!
Goosey: That is GOOD TO KNOW
* ThePhan, if she were a supervillain, would go around sprinkling sugar on construction sites and then run away laughing evilly.
ThePhan: NOTHING WILL EVER BE BUILT
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: Phan: LOL, my mind went straight to trolling, too.

Dying Today

ThePhan: Hmm. I appear to have an itchy rash on my wrist. Probably I'm going to die.
Sentynel: Phan: It sounds like you've been checking WebMD.
TalkingDog: Itchywristrastuffis is dangerous. Especially if you wear an Irish wristwatch.
ThePhan: LOL to both Sent and TD.
TalkingDog: *Itchywristrash-itis
ThePhan: Oh. Hmm. I wonder if I was just lying on my wrist weirdly.
ThePhan: There appears to be a fingernail print in it, like I was inadvertently pressing the nails of one hand into the wrist of the other.
ThePhan: That would also explain how red it was. And its being itchy could just be a coincidence.
ThePhan: Looks like I won't be dying here today, folks.
Goosey: Yay not dying!
wintermute: Phan: To be fair, your heart could always explode unexpectedly.
wintermute: Or a bus could crash into your house.
ThePhan: True!
wintermute: In conclusion, you have a 85% chance of dying today.
ThePhan: ...That is a higher chance than I would have suspected.
Goosey: LOL
wintermute: I might have made a small error in the maths.

No Talking About Introversion

Sentynel: Phan: There is a minor typo in your new blog. Point 1 says "If you're talking about introversion/extroversion with someone, start with the assumption that they know the basics of what it's all about. If they don't, you can't tell them."
Sentynel: Which makes knowledge about introversion sound like Fight Club.
Sentynel: If they know already, you can talk to them. But if they don't know, you're not allowed to tell them.
ThePhan: Sent: LOL, thanks.
ThePhan: DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT INTROVERSION
ThePhan: It violates the very spirit of the thing.
Goosey: LOL
Dave: The first rule of introversion is we don't talk.

Enjoying J. L. Rothdiener's Books

ThePhan: Well, hey, I've found the problem with Skye: http://jlrothdiener.wordpress.com/about/
ThePhan: It says "This web-site is designed to help you understand and enjoy the books I have written."
ThePhan: But he never finished the website.
ThePhan: If he did, then I could understand his book.
Goosey: *snort*
ThePhan: And possibly even enjoy it.
Sentynel: It was probably hacked by the wives of communists.
Sentynel: LOL, the best bit of that site is the tag line.
Sentynel: "She was on a collision coarse with her past..."
ThePhan: OH GOSH
Goosey: Collision coarse!
Sentynel: I prefer fine collisions with my past.
Randy: LOL LOL
ThePhan: He can't even get the tagline for his own book right.
Goosey: hahhaaha
Nyperold: Your blog is doing a better job than his site, though probably not in the way he intended.
Goosey: hehehehe

I Still Like Your Necklace!

ThePhan: LOL, Mom just posted on a friend's wall reminding them of one of my favorite stories about kids in general.
ThePhan: My sister Elizabeth was babysitting for this friend's three kids.
ThePhan: One of them is a little girl who really enjoys Elizabeth's sense of style and is always telling her how beautiful her clothes, jewelry, hats, etc. are.
ThePhan: One day, this little girl got really mad at Elizabeth for not letting her do something.
ThePhan: She yelled, "WELL, I DON'T LIKE YOUR SHIRT!" and turned around and stomped out the doorway.
Goosey: LOL
ThePhan: When she got to the door, she turned back around and yelled back, "BUT I STILL LIKE YOUR NECKLACE!"
Goosey: HAHAHAHAHA
Goosey: I LOVE KIDS
ThePhan: It was the most awesome half-insult ever.
Goosey: They are so frequently unintentionally hilarious
ThePhan: So every once in awhile Elizabeth will say that to one of us if she's pretending to be mad: "I don't like your shirt, but I still like your necklace!"
Goosey: hehehe

Bella's Hobbies

wintermute: Actual word-for-word conversation that just happened for real in this house:
wintermute: Bella: I'm borrrrrred.
wintermute: Amy: Well, what can you do?
wintermute: Bella: *thinks*
wintermute: Bella: Kill someone?
Goosey: O_O
ThePhan: LOL LOL
ThePhan: Oh my.
ThePhan: I think you need to help her rethink her hobbies.
TalkingDog: Yeah. You can't get ransom money for a dead person.

YOU ARE MINE

ThePhan: This lovely cheesy inspirational meme posted on Facebook was rather startling at the end, since it never specified who was telling me all these things: https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/1604737_10152188558843729_1207833884_n.jpg
ThePhan: Not to mention it suddenly being in all caps.
ThePhan: I felt like I had suddenly been abducted.
Goosey: LOL LOL
Goosey: Also, it really says "You are you are mine"
wintermute: cREEPY.
ThePhan: "You are YOU ARE MINE"
Goosey: hahaha
wintermute: You can almost taste the chloroform ;)
ThePhan: LOL LOL

The Polar Bear

Sentynel: The internet informs me it is so cold in Chicago they had to keep the polar bear inside.
Sentynel: At the zoo, I mean.
Sentynel: Crucial bit of that sentence missed.
Sentynel: Chicago doesn't just have a pet polar bear wandering around.
Sentynel: As far as I know.
Goosey: Hahahaha
Sentynel: Can you tell how little sleep I got last night?
iwpg: Every city should have one.
LaZorra: Sent: Indeed it is. The best story I've read about that referred to the bear by name, with the modifier, ".., the city bear,..."
Sentynel: LOL
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: That makes him sound like he lives in an apartment somewhere and commutes to work on the metro.
Goosey: hahaha
LaZorra: LOL
LaZorra: Yeah, basically.
LaZorra: I bet he had to cancel all his Monday meetings.
Sentynel: The local seal population must be very relieved.

Hawaiian Is the Easiest Language

(Goosey has just come back from her Christmas vacation in Hawaii.)

Goosey: 9 in Hawaii is 6, so recognize my efforts to beat jet lag, thank you, hehe.
ThePhan: LOL, clearly *I* am not awake, because I interpreted "9 in Hawaii is 6" as that they just flip the number itself upside down and that's how you translate it into Hawaiian.
ThePhan: Hawaiian is the easiest language to learn. It's just English turned upside down.
Goosey: LOL LOL
Sentynel: You're thinking of Australian.
Goosey: LOL!
ThePhan: LOL

Conversations With Lydia

Maryam: Cameron's constant conversations (mostly involving Lydia) with Skyrim are amusing. "Lydia, you have no right to get mad at me when you walk in front of my lightning bolt."
Maryam: "Lydia, why did you decide to go swimming?"
Goosey: LOL
Maryam: "Lydia, why did you open the door and let the monster through?"
Goosey: hehehe
Sentynel: Yeah, I got frustrated with having a companion with me in Skyrim spectacularly quickly.
Maryam: Game says, "How may I serve you, my thane?" Cameron answers, "You can put your shoes back on."

Gas Prices

ThePhan: Ha, a FB post: "First time I have seen this gas is cheaper in Sterling than in Dixon $3.19 compare to $324 go figure"
ThePhan: That is MUCH cheaper.
Goosey: LOL
Sentynel: Man, I'm never complaining about our petrol prices again.
ThePhan: We're looking for a new car for the price of 4 gallons of gas in Dixon...
Sentynel: LOL, there's an Eastern European car brand called Skoda. They're actually really good now - they're owned by VW and basically just use VW parts - and I drive one, but when they first arrived in the UK, they were notorious for being hilariously terrible.
Sentynel: I bring this up because you reminded me of one of the jokes.
Sentynel: "How do you double the value of a Skoda?" "Fill it with petrol."
ThePhan: Hehehe
Sentynel: "What do you call a Skoda at the top of a hill?" "Impossible."
Sentynel: "What do you call a Skoda with an open sunroof?" "A skip."

Soft Mulch

ThePhan: I tried to send a text to Jacob ending with, "I miss you super much," because we got to spend like 10 days in a row together and now are completely spoiled and him going to work for eight hours feels like FOREVER.
ThePhan: However, my phone changed it to "I miss your soft mulch."
Goosey: LOL LOL
ThePhan: I have NO IDEA WHAT THAT WOULD MEAN.
Sentynel: LOL!
ThePhan: I can't even decide how euphemistic it's likely to be.
ThePhan: It's just nonsense.
* ThePhan is pretty sure she does not miss anyone's soft mulch.